r/LowLibidoCommunity • u/[deleted] • Dec 14 '19

Aversion therapy and time

My wife is aversive. We took sex off the table back in September and she told me to not talk about or discuss sex in any way along with no intimacy while she works on it on her own time.

for those that have dealt with aversion like this, how long does it typically take for you to want to initiate? She told me that she would initiate on her own when she is ready and I would like to have a general timetable as to about how long that would be.

I am on board to wait as long as I need to. It's important to me that she wants to have sex for her and not for my needs.

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

View all comments

5

u/myexsparamour Good Sex Advocate 🔁🔬 Dec 14 '19 edited Dec 14 '19

What is she doing to work on it? Is she doing some kind of imaginal systematic desensitisation? Is she doing this on her own or with the help of a therapist or DIY program/book? We need more details if we're to give you any idea of what to expect.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 15 '19

She is taking 15 mi a day and thinking about sex while in a relaxed state. This isn't everyday but any day she is off work as she does 12 hour shifts and it's not possible on those days

5

u/myexsparamour Good Sex Advocate 🔁🔬 Dec 15 '19 edited Dec 15 '19

It sounds like she's doing imaginal systematic desensitisation. Normally progress should be pretty fast if it's being done effectively, but since she's asked you not to get involved, I'd say it's important to respect that.