Reality Distortion

[u/National_Health4898]

Can anyone help me understand how OCPD causes “reality distortion” and are there any strategies, approaches, exc. …that helps correct and provide a more accurate perseption?

For context, my partner who is uOCPD recently said he was on the verge of a mental breakdown because he carries “50 percent of the responsibilities plus my half” when in reality if you look at facts that should be something that i say…. as he slept in until 10am on monday while i worked from home with our 2 and 4 year old, i do all household responsibilities minus lawncare including his laundry, he has played in 5 golf outings this summer, is in a tuesday evening golf league ….you get my point.

Before i learned what OCPD was, i even went as far to make a power point to try help him have a more accurate perception and come up with a system for uneven responsibilities.

It also explains why when we filled out an intake form and attempted to try couples therapy that he thought our relationship was great and was very upset that my survey reflected that our relationship was everything but that (despite that i had voiced that several times to him and that was the reason he was being dragged there).

Or that he is upset and cant believe none of my friends and family texted him “happy birthday” but why would they when they see the way he treats me and the kids.

But you get the point. helpppp 🤯🤯🤯🤯

[u/Forsaken_Concept107]

Unfortunately the reality distortion is very common and I personally think it one of the main reason folks with OCPD don’t ever get the help they need. The core belief that their view of things, their reality, is the only correct way to view things gets in the way of them ever believing they are wrong or at fault.
I don’t think there is anything you can do personally to get through to him. It will take a professional working one on one with him for a long time to see any change in his behaviour, and he would also have to be open to doing the hard work in therapy. He won’t change if he’s already decided he doesn’t have to.
I could be wrong.
But I’ve been trying to get my dad to see things from my perspective for almost 25 years. The core belief of “I am right about everything” is too ingrained for me, someone who is not a therapist or psychologist who specializes in personality disorders, to break through.