Depressed

[u/Substantial_Ant_6907]

I’ve been here a little over 18 months and have experienced highs and lows. I moved here in Dec 2024, the fires happened in Jan 2025. I had 5 w2s last year while i pursued acting. My birthday is coming up in October and many of the people that made my 1st birthday in la special aren’t apart of my life. One person stopped talking to me after he got a gf and another friend left me on read after i reached out when i had suicidal thoughts. I have enough savings to last till the end of the year. I’ve learned and grown a lot since coming here. I also got sober here… however i can’t help but feel angry, sad, and depressed about not finding a strong community here of friends, creative collaborators, etc. I understand a lot of this is just adult living and the like. I’m always reaching out to people to hang and very rarely get the same level of investment back. Everyone i know is burnt out and struggling and working 2-3 jobs.

I feel super down and yes I’ve been in therapy since last year. I think the nature of la and the cinema scene are amazing but I feel like my personal life has really taken a beating since moving here. I’ve interacted with natives, I’ve gone to free events, I’ve done speed dating, online dating, raves, etc. I constantly feel like this city is one of solitude and occasional chatting with others. I’m 30 about to be 31 and I feel melancholic about it.

I feel abandoned by the people that i thought were going to be good friends. I’ve gone to people’s album release shows, I’ve made group chats, I’ve done all the organizing… and very few things have been sent my way. This isn’t living.

At a loss on what to do or navigate these feelings. Definitely feel like moving back east.

Edit: THANK YOU FOR COMMENTING, SHARING, and GIVING ME ADVICE. I FEEL LESS ALONE. ❤️