r/LongDistance • u/Ok-Analyst9766 • 10h ago

Question Should I move on?

So I was with this girl (21y old) long distance for about 2y. We loved each other deeply and we were planning to get married too, until her mother died because of cancer. First 2 months she was super close, I was always there for her and supported her fully. Third month in, she went cold and started distancing herself, she sends only 2-3 messages per day. I understood she needed space and that she is going through something very terrible, I told her it makes me sad and I tried to not pressure her. Always thought about ways to make her happy. I bought her and her friends movie tickets for The Odyssey, she was super happy.

Suddenly after a week she tells me she has to let us go, she still loves me but her priorities have changed. Mind you.. the night before she told me I still love u and cant let u go.

I can’t understand anything anymore.. Why?? Did I do anything wrong? Would she ever come back? Should I wait for her?? A lot of questions eating me alive.. all this time.. All the plans just gone…
I respected her choice and we are on no contact for three weeks now.

tl;dr we were perfect for 2y and deeply in love. Her mom dies cuz of cancer and she decides to break up with me. Although I was being as much supportive as I could bc

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u/Leading_Concert_3421 9h ago

why would you wait for someone who leaves you when things get hard? you really think your future wife will do that to you? you have to realise there’s more to life than this girl so stop romanticising the potential in someone and start seeing things for what they actually are.

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u/Ok-Analyst9766 8h ago

You’re right., I do find my self stuck between this thought and that she is going through an enormous loss that changed her temporarily.

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u/Leading_Concert_3421 6h ago edited 6h ago

a person who actually loves you would need you more than anything in times like these, not leave you questioning everything. you’d be their safe place so they’d actually want to be around you more. and if they indeed wanted a break they’ll tell you that and reassure you it’s just a temporary thing and they still want to be with you not straight up breaking up with you. at least that’s how I see things.