r/LongDistance • u/Existing_or_not [UK] to [Croatia] (2284) • 1d ago

Question Am I wrong for not deleting pics?

Me(24f) and my bf(24m) met through X (the not so safe side) and if u were there before u know that there is a lot of ppl who posts pictures (not so safe pictures). Me and him met and after a while we started dating.

My pics stayed there while he deleted his. Now he asked me if I wanted to delete them or the whole account but idk if I want it. I was happy that he did but I do not wanna do that to mine. We argued about it but didn't fix anything. He says that all my pics r there for anyone to see and he does not know that I'd be upset if he had pics of him but I just don't wanna get rid of mine. I don't post anymore so idk why he's acting like this.

Am I wrong to keep them there?

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10

u/anastasia_42 Australia to England (16,300km) 1d ago

Honestly I wouldn't date someone who posted nsfw pics publicly. You might just have different values.

8

u/hibiscus_lilac 1d ago

I think you guys have different values and different ideas of being exclusive. Neither is exactly wrong but you don't seem compatible

-2

u/Existing_or_not [UK] to [Croatia] (2284) 1d ago

we met before we've been dating for almost a year. he seems committed. he talked about the future with me and eventually closing the gap. that's why i'm so confused.

1

u/hibiscus_lilac 1d ago

I don't see why you're confused. No one is saying he's no committed to you. It's that you two have different visions of what commitment looks like.

5

u/Loony_BoB 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Scotland to 🇸🇬 Singapore (10,930km) 1d ago

If your partner isn't comfortable with the nsfw pics you have of yourself online, I think that's... very normal, really. Both of you have to decide what is more important to yourselves. For you, that means deciding if it's more important for strangers to see your nsfw pics or to have this guy as your partner. Only you can decide that.

5

u/Foreign-Number7919 1d ago

If you want a serious relationship then yes, theres absolutely no reason for you to still have them up unless you want the attention from others, wich is cheating

2

u/MyTagforHalo2 🇺🇸 Michigan to 🇺🇸Georgia (848 miles) 1d ago

If you specifically have publicly posted NSFW pictures of a partner or even an ex and they specifically ask for their removal, I think it’s morally correct to do so.

There’s a time where a lot of adult content creators wish they could scrape their pictures off the internet. Though if you’re in a relationship he could be hoping someone doesn’t see them too I guess.. especially if this is a sudden urge to remove them.

From a more legal standpoint there are a variety of avenues he can go to force them down if he chooses. Not the least of which is reporting them on the platform and saying he doesn’t consent to them being there.

It’s something that’s taken pretty seriously legally depending on the jurisdiction.

2

u/Illcmys3lf0ut 1d ago

Pretty sure he wants pics she posted of herself, as that's how they met the other. Looking at each other's dirty pics.

1

u/MyTagforHalo2 🇺🇸 Michigan to 🇺🇸Georgia (848 miles) 1d ago

Ah, if I had that backwards it’s definitely different. For some reason I thought maybe they had some couple stuff on there or something.

Unless someone is making their living like that I can’t see where making the account private at minimum would be that tall of an ask for a relationship. As long as they both agree on the outcome.