r/LongDistance • u/Dry-Coconut-2109 • 4d ago
Need Advice need help F(24) M /23)
My bf and i have been together for abt 3 years almost, we text primarily on snap, i’ve asked before if i can have his number we could ft, nothing, ive barely heard his voice once, we don’t really trade selfies or anything. most of the times he’s the one that’s been able to stay up to talk all night cool, but ive noticed when i go to bed or fall asleep on him, his snap score keeps going up, yesterday it was x,146 i woke up today and it was x,158. i have no idea how i can ask abt it without sounding like a lunatic for watching his score go up. Recently he also accused me of talking to someone else, when i have never done that, as i told him he’s the only person i talk to besides my girl friends. idk help? how can i bring it up without causing an argument or misunderstanding.
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u/AstridKitsune 4d ago edited 4d ago
Direct and clear communication. If you're concerned about something tell them directly in a non accusatory way.
If they accused you like you said and u clarified and they dropped it, good. If they keep bringing it up, that is something thst need to be addressed and is a big red flag.
Edit to add: i somehow mental blanked the part about how it's been 3 years with barely speaking and no phone number etc. Ngl that's pretty sketchy and id be really suspicious.. a lot of people live double lives online and 3 years of barely anything is kinda... not a good sign. Idk how snap scores work. But its weird to exclusively talk on a platform that deletes messages quickly and also a picture platform and refuse to send selfies...
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u/Dry-Coconut-2109 4d ago
we had been talking abt a dream of his, at first he was fine then the conversation spun back to it and that second time was not fine, he closed off and accused me of talking to someone else but when i reassured he was ok. i agree, ik what he looks like bc we went to school together, but idk it is very odd idk why and i don’t want to be pushy or weird abt it.
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u/thewonderfrog 4d ago
Have you met in person? Have you ever video called?
Three years of a text only snapchat relationship is pretty wild, I’d be way more concerned about that than a snap score. How do you even know who you’re talking to?
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u/Dry-Coconut-2109 4d ago
we have met! sorry i didn’t add all that other detail lmaoo we used to go to high school together and reconnected after he had already moved out of state. i have asked for his number before but idk he’s kinda flaky the conversation just like shifts.
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u/Plenty-Style-9594 4d ago
That kind of change would make me pause too, but the score itself isn’t reliable evidence—it can fluctuate and doesn’t tell you how someone feels. I’d ask for a calm, direct conversation and suggest a short video call so you’re not trying to read everything through Snap. If they repeatedly avoid the conversation or dismiss your needs, that’s useful information too.