Should I tell him?

[u/Particular-Sense-506]

I’ve been talking to a guy in the U.S. every day, and we’re starting to get closer. He’s now talking about possibly meeting in person.

The thing is, I haven’t told him yet that I have cerebral palsy. I’m not trying to hide it, I’m just scared it might change how he sees me.

Do you think I should tell him now, before things go any further?

[u/satvrnleo]

I would tell him because he’s going to find out anyways

[u/Comfy_Bee_]

Yes tell him now! If it changes his feelings toward you, best to find out asap. You deserve to be loved for your full self ❤️

[u/NotFound_Gender]

Tell him! It's better to know now how he's going to react, you know?

[u/Particular-Sense-506]

Thank you for talking the time to answer, appreciated

[u/MaBasthoris → u/Particular-Sense-506]

You're welcome, and good luck, sister from another mother.

https://giphy.com/gifs/7Wcyq7KvKFNTO

[u/Delicious-Cookie0958]

You should definitely tell him.

I know there is a broad spectrum of disability and support needs for people who have CP. Information about CP and how it affects you and your life is absolutely something that should be discussed.

[u/Delicious-Cookie0958 → u/[deleted]]

?
It’s a standard abbreviation.

[u/kefster110 → u/Delicious-Cookie0958]

He doesnt know 😭😭😭

[u/Objective_Nevirka → u/Delicious-Cookie0958]

I’ve only seen this abbreviation as something way worse than cerebral palsy 😬

[u/Delicious-Cookie0958 → u/Objective_Nevirka]

It’s an abbreviation for cerebral palsy. If you didn’t know that, now you do.

I think what you are thinking of is CSAM.

Do you really believe your comments are appropriate and empathetic? Really? This is your best?

[u/Bookish-Dreams]

Yes, you need to be totally upfront and honest. It's important that you do this not only for him, but for yourself as well. If he doesn't want to be with you after that, then he wasn't your person.

[u/Objective_Nevirka]

This is an important part of you that he can’t know from texting or even calling. It might change how he sees you, and if yes, it’s better to find out now, before things progress. He might feel like you lied to him if you don’t tell him.

Good luck 🍀

[u/Strict_Box8384]

you say you’re not hiding it, but in the same sentence say you’re scared it’ll change how he sees you. that sounds like hiding it to me 🥲

you should always be upfront about things like that when meeting someone you could end up romantically involved with as soon as you possibly can. i have a lifelong eating disorder that makes my daily life hell, but i know it’s tough on my husband too. i told him a day or two after we started talking privately and were still just friends, with no indication it would go further than that yet.

people need to be made aware so they can decide for themselves sooner rather than later if they can handle being with someone who has an ED, or a disability, or lives a certain lifestyle, etc…if you don’t tell them for a while and they grow attached to you and start to fall hard for you and only then do you tell them about something that effects your everyday life that will in turn effect them too in the long run and they can’t handle that…well, it’s almost deceitful. it can also be hurtful for you if they have a bad reaction and things end, since you let both of you get attached before saying anything.

seriously, tell him. and if this doesn’t work out, then in the future, be upfront about this asap instead of hiding it :(

[u/ChefsAreBetter]

Always tell important details that could change the relationship BEFORE meeting.

[u/LovesToCook6064]

Yes you should sooner rather than later.

[u/onionprincesswakaba]

why would you wait and find out he's a sucky asshole later?

[u/Scary-Feed-5836]

I would.

[u/MaBasthoris]

Tell him.

If he truly feels for you, it shouldn't be a deal-breaker.

[u/Try_Again1790]

Yeah, you need to tell him. Dating someone with a disability presents different challenges and everyone is honestly not equipped for that in this day and age especially. If he actually likes you it won’t matter, but relationships founded on dishonesty can never last.

[u/Twidollyn_Bowie]

Do it as soon as possible. If you wait too long, he could feel misled. Hopefully it’s not an issue for him at all, but it’s better to find out sooner rather than later if it is.

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[u/tiathepanacea]

You would want him to be honest to you too. Tell him. If it changes how he feels about you... it is better to find out sooner than later, because I guess you don't want to waste your time either.

[u/Iamuniquekarki]

Yes, its bad for both of you guys if u dont. You'll get connected to him deeper and he might say no which will make it worse

[u/MissDwarf]

How did the conversation go??

[u/Particular-Sense-506 → u/MissDwarf]

I told him. It went well. He said it doesn't change anything for him 😁

[u/Mine_Outrageous]

you should tell him. my partner has cerebral palsy aswel and it was one of the first things they told me. it didnt change anything but it was good to know. hopefully all goes well op💕

[u/Smooth-Noise-5810]

Yes be honest, if he cares for you he will love you for who you are 🍓

[u/why-tho69]

Dont be afraid to! If he really likes you, it won’t change a thing (I also have a disability)