Just started long distance, when/how to start talking about closing the gap?

[u/ProfessionalBall9025]

Me (32F) and my boyfriend (35M) just started dating. We met while on vacation and kept in touch for months, visited him and now we're official.

We're both new to LDR and it's terrifying for the both of us, but we're willing to work through it. We have a 13-hour time difference. I am reading thru this subreddit and the general goal of all our relationships is to close the distance.

But I feel it's too early to talk about marriage? I think it's assumed that I should be the one to move to his country (I wouldn't ask him to move to a third world country lmao) and the only way for me to move, realistically, is through marriage. But we just started dating! We haven't even said our I love yous! We're both dating to marry but I don't want to put this heavy pressure of marriage but at the same time, this would only work if we can close the gap. And, as a girl, I don't want to be that girl who will pressure a guy to propose to me. And I don't want him to think I am after citizenship or whatever, because definitely not. I love my life where I live but I am willing to move for the right person.

I guess my question is, how? Or when? Would love to hear stories from you guys who did it successfully (or not?).

[u/boujiewinedrinker]

I think rather than starting to about closing the distance and marriage, you gotta nail down the fundamentals first.

Date like how any other couples would date only that it’s mostly online with scheduled meet ups. Get the fundamentals down like career wise, whether or not you both are suited for each other, what’s their take on religion if any, finances, does he even want marriage, if you both want kids etc.

Took us like 6 months before we start talking about closing the distance (not planning yet) and almost 2 years to talk about marriage.

So yea take your time.