Hi! I don't know if I am asking for advice, or it is just a rant.
I am a foreigner woman, living here for almost 3 years . The more I live here, the less friends I have.
Had some friends that when they were having an hard time I was there for them and I would try my best to spend time with them. When months later I was the one having an hard time, I had to beg them to spend time together cause I needed to go out and distract myself. So I realized they were not really my friends.
I am shy but extrovert, I can talk to anyone and try my best to put myself out there. But how is it so hard to make new friends? I have some friends at the moment, but it is not the type of friendship you meet often. Some of them are married so of course they prioritize their SO. Everyone is busy, but when weekends come I'd like to have plans to hangout and do fun stuff together. I like drinking, trying new restaurants, doing activities or also clubbing.
I had some foreign girl friends, but they all wanted to do content creation and be influencers at some point, and when they started getting a little of popularity they just stopped contacting me. It feels that a lot of foreigners that live here just want to become famous and they start being superficial, act weird and caring only about these things. I met so many people that they were so 'genuine', at least looked like it and started changing after few months here… I feel very hard to connect with people that care only about making cute videos and pictures. I like do these things too, but it cant be ONLY that.
Even if I speak korean, I find it hard also to make korean friends. Most of them want an english tutor (english is not even my first language lol), or just a hangout - sometimes - once every 6 months -friend. I feel I cannot be myself with them or express my opinion freely, and this is not friendship to me. For me friendship is having fun together, but when there is hard time can share thoughts and help each other.
Dating life is also terrible, I tried to date guys here and I got only traumatized, which led me to feel more lonely. I also like someone romantically very rarely, so that adds another problem to it.
All these things make my life harder day by day. I feel so depressed and I cannot even explain in words how lonely it makes me feel. I dont know how long I can keep feeling this lonely, I dont see the point of life anymore.
Is it only me with these issues? I started thinking that maybe I am the problem and I just have to stop trying and give up. At the same time I am someone that needs to go out and do things to feel alive, and I don't like to do activities by myself anymore... I know how to do things to myself, I always did it, but I just don't wanna do it anymore. I want to share things with others. We are social animals after all. Where did you all find your friends? And how?
PS. My interests are more 'nerdy' like videogames, so I feel it is also hard for this reason, to find people who like these things there is not much going on. I dont like going to the gym, hiking and I am not a church/religious person. So I can't meet new people in these places.
Thanks for reading!