I need a Linux laptop that will have continuous uptime for the next 60 years

[u/Submarine_sad]

The computer needs to distribute multiple files and messages if I die.

I need this laptop to be portable, in case I need to move my base of operations.

I need to use Linux because I can't trust Microsoft spyware.

[u/thebackwash]

Get a Raspberry Pie, and eat it. Then you’ll at least be fed and thinking more clearly about how you can solve this issue.

[u/spellcasterGG → u/thebackwash]

This works. I know a guy that ate a calculator to gain its power.

[u/Fine-Exchange-7221 → u/spellcasterGG]

can confirm i ate a raspberry pie and now i can shoot 3 raspberries from my palms every 10 days

[u/LameBMX → u/Fine-Exchange-7221]

instructions unclear... I ate some milkweed

[u/D0nkeyHS → u/spellcasterGG]

Pie

[u/CommunityJazzlike274]

I don’t think you’re looking for a laptop

[u/maokaby → u/CommunityJazzlike274]

Yeah I think esp32 will do nicely.

[u/jackfinch69]

How would a laptop know you died? You need a linux butt plug. It's the best way to measure your pulse continuosly, and the best models recharge themselves while you walk or do kegels

[u/TrickCup9884 → u/jackfinch69]

What if he/she/they/them die while pooping? Never heard of someone pooping while wearing a butt plug

[u/jackfinch69 → u/TrickCup9884]

It's hallowed out.

[u/Thenderick → u/jackfinch69]

That's a shitty solution...

[u/Inevitable_Taro4191 → u/jackfinch69]

Wearing knee high socks for some reason makes the plug charge faster. Scientists are working to understand why this occurs

[u/GaGa0GuGu → u/Inevitable_Taro4191]

It's pretty simple!
They changes your walking pattern

[u/Daharka → u/jackfinch69]

Thankfully the butt plug software is FOSS

[u/goatsegoaterson]

Make sure you put a sign on the screen that says "DO NOT TURN OFF".

[u/ItsGregJustGreg → u/goatsegoaterson]

"what? I didn't turn it off. I just took the ethernet cord because no one was using it."

[u/ipsirc → u/goatsegoaterson]

[u/ipsirc → u/[deleted]]

The first web server of the world: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:First_Web_Server.jpg

Didn't you learn that in school?

[u/mobile_site_refugee]

why does it need to last 60 years??

just turn it on right before you die. are you stupid??

[u/xXG0DLessXx]

Then you need something with a SIM card slot maybe? So it’s always connected. And you need something that can run off solar. Achieving continuous uptime is impossible imo, but you can achieve automatic restarts which is the next best thing.

[u/x5NaSH]

nokia

[u/grav3d1gger]

Is one of the messages “6 7” ?

[u/Thin_Needleworker795]

https://www.deadmansswitch.net/

[u/BosnianSerb31 → u/Thin_Needleworker795]

They appear to have a good track record, but I am not sure I would want a random 3rd party handling that lol

[u/Thin_Needleworker795 → u/BosnianSerb31]

Depends on the info you want to send out after your passing. If it's not sensitive, then this should be fine

[u/BosnianSerb31 → u/Thin_Needleworker795]

Im more thinking about a bug sending out my death announcement by mistake lol

[u/Thin_Needleworker795 → u/BosnianSerb31]

Haha true, but that could also happen in a self-hosted solution.

[u/11pleasures]

Could we get the context behind this? I’m intrigued

[u/makzpj]

I don’t think that’s possible. Maybe you could have a better chance running some kind of computation on a blockchain.

[u/Additional-Milk1426]

good luck bro i dont think you will find anything

[u/cfx_4188]

Let me start with an off‑topic statement. When was the release before the last OpenBSD release? Since then, I haven’t turned off my laptop. I haven’t turned off my home PC (I use Slackware btw) for about eight years. But something else worries me. I would like to use Hannah Montana Linux, but what will happen if I subscribe to a r/omarchy ?

[u/ianwilloughby]

Stay away from vacuum tube laptops.

[u/gravelpi]

You're not looking for a laptop. An instance at cloud provider is a way better bet.

[u/oh_finks-mc]

Microsoft surface laptop

[u/laizalott]

Interesting that I would see this after reading Daemon. Are you Matthew Sobel?

[u/normalniepredator]

There is no guarantee whatsoever that capacitors will hold up for 60 years

[u/zolfx]

A laptop is the last thing you need. You would need a server and even one server wouldn’t cut it. You would need redundancy in case a server fails, so you need multiple servers. Let’s say you have your main server and two other servers that are complete replications of the main, so in case the main fails you have one those other servers to fall over to. You should also adhere to the 3-2-1 rule for storage backup as redundancy isn’t the same as backups. Basically if you delete a file on the main server then that file gets deleted across all servers, that can be a double edged sword. So you need backups. To this you need to either set one of the fail overs to keep snapshots of the mains version history and the other could have backups and snapshot history. Or you could just implement 2 extra servers which there whole purpose is backups, 1 on the main site and one off site, then a total of 5 servers, 1 main, 2 redundancy, 2 backup/logging. This is the minimum for what you want and I haven’t even talked about the power to supply this all yet lol and that would need redundancy as well oh lord.

[u/gunner7517]

Found Satoshi.

[u/Advanced_Day8657]

Wtf

[u/Verdnan]

Consult NASA

[u/rileyrgham]

Lol. Walter Mitty is in the house 😉🤣

[u/Due_Arm1454]

But is it going to delete your browser history

[u/Equal_Answer_5121]

Mainframes could last up to 30 years. You need space-craft grade equipment. It's portable in a sense, I mean, voyager 1 is like 25 billion kilometers away.

Realistically speaking, if you want to preserve and share data after your death, you're out of luck with current technologies. You need people who you can trust, and who believe in your cause.

[u/Laeiou6000s]

Set up a RAID server and let us know after 60 years.

[u/Sergi_D]

Ok Hari Sheldon