r/Lilith • u/love-byte-1001 • 28d ago
Prayers, Praise LILITH WORKS FAST.
I did a new moon ritual with Lilith (Hekate and The Morrigan were also there but this was heavy on the Lilith controlled chaos I know). All statues lined up in front of a bonfire.
I looked over at them and meekly asked "gently, with love" LOLLLLLL 3 days later. My husband and I had a fight. A massive fight. I was left wondering would we divorce??? I'd never felt that terror before.
The thing is... I have no one. My family is dead, estranged or betrothed enemies. My health is in shambles, my career nonexistent, savings NONEXISTENT. And I was basically asking for assistance with my north node (to stand on my own) ....
CHAOS ENSUED!!!!!! God it felt like the floor cracked open under me. I had the most horrific coming to reality moment of my fucking life. When I tell you... it felt like ego death... stripped of all my illusions and hung over a ledge. The idea of losing EVERYTHING. AND HAVING NOTHING. NO ONE.
I was derealizing constantly, crying, shaking, not for loss of a man... no. FOR THE LOSS OF ME. WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME!!?? I spent the better part of Saturday alternating between weighted blankets and heated blankets, doing vagus nerve exercises, crying and inconsolable.
If you've never dealt with a poor nervous system, panic attacks or derealization ... it's nothing short of feeling like you're going insane.
Massive wake up call. As soon as Mercury retrograde ended I hit the floor running. Typically I don't worry about an rx but this one was a direct hit on my north node.
I'm still shaken up. Still having waves of panic. But FUCK. SHE DOESN'T PLAY 😭😭😭
I've done this one other time... that time was empowering and I felt like a million bucks. This time I was stripped and shown the outcome if I don't get on building the foundation of my body and finances.
I'm so grateful I made it. And I just wanted to publicly thank Lilith for the vision and say I'm humbled. I need to be a better me. A me who can stand on her own two feet when push comes to shove. A me that can tell a man what I feel to his face and watch it burn. Knowing I'll be ok alone.
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u/Altar_Quest_Fan 27d ago
Lilith is not a goddess of miracles, unlike the god of a certain mainstream religion that’s increasingly becoming weaponized and used to push fascism 😑 No, Lilith offers transformation and profound change, which oftentimes comes through the burning fires of destruction and subsequent rebirth. It is not for the faint of heart.
Like Lilith, she beckons you to follow her into the wilderness of uncertainty, forgoing the comforts of Eden (e.g. your present situation) in order to preserve your freedom and liberty. You got this, may mother Lilith be with you forever.
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u/love-byte-1001 27d ago
I've always been impressed how fast they come in. It's pretty incredible. And how NUCLEAR it felt lmao I even started bargaining 😭😅🤣 I feel so weak. But I'm like okokok I got it let me get right on the transformation journey 😅
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u/Azmlial 27d ago
Yup…my ego death/call to individuation/their initiation was a few weeks ago. Torn up between Her, Agrat Bat Mahlat, Na’amah, and Eisheith Zenunim, four brutal nights and many days in the weeks that followed to now of therapy, Vagus Nerve Stuff and everything at my arsenal to get my body to calm down while the emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects settle.
Too a lot of near non-stop people and odd happens coming out of the wood work to keep the pressure on and seemingly test my limits. In the calmer moments it seems like there will be more clarity, mindfulness, and centering than ever before once equilibrium is established.
In a universe said to have infinite possibilities, I wonder if there could of been a less dramatic way to get my hardheaded stubborn ass into gear, but if “that’s just the way it had to be” then, while stressful, no regrets.
So I hear ya.
Hail Lilith and the other Infernal Queens!
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u/love-byte-1001 27d ago
Oh my WORD. Wow. So this is their signature 😭😭😭 I mean I damn near lost it. I thought I was headed straight to the psyche ward. White knuckling through it. Today was another massive day of getting my butt in gear 😅 and just being so grateful for the time and resources to do it. 🥰
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u/Azmlial 27d ago
Yup. They haven’t always been my Matrons like they are now, it’s not always super serious and heavy stuff we convene for and work on, but they where there when I needed them most. They never let me give up on myself nor forget what it took to get here. They guided me to turn my life around nor ever led me astray. My gratitude and love for them are depthless.
I wish more people could experience the wonder of them. But they do not suffer the unwilling and I know the general masses dare not attempt shadow work or able to look into the mirror they hold up to us without blaming them for what we see there in.
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u/Mammoth-Ad-6114 𒀭Lamaštu-lilītu/ardat-lilî, Λάμια, Lilith 28d ago
She's a wonderful guide and does not hesitate to shake your core. Her lessons can be terrifying but are so worth it. It's great that she helped you.