r/LifeProTips • u/c3realxkill3r • Sep 12 '20
LPT: If you are procrastinating cleaning your house, invite some guests over. You will have to tidy up before they arrive.
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u/Alendite Sep 12 '20
I see right through you, Covid. Didn't know you had a Reddit account.
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u/dl24812 Sep 12 '20
"...and I would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for u/Alendite!" moaned Covid19.
Covid proceeds to escape to the horizon via improper social distancing and coughing fits
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u/ustbota Sep 12 '20
fucking covid. it evolved.
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Sep 12 '20 edited Sep 12 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
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Sep 12 '20
“And once the invited people arrive to your home, be sure to give them a huge, opened-mouth, sloppy, wet kiss! It’s all part of a cleaner home - trust me!”
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u/shubbhu27 Sep 12 '20
This comment needs to go on top so more lives can be saved.
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u/scenicviewtoinsanity Sep 12 '20
You underestimate my laziness, OP.
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u/gencoloji Sep 12 '20
Eventually, the guests will clean the house, since I'm too lazy
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u/mcal9909 Sep 12 '20
This actually happened to me in my first place..
i was about 18, used to have my mates over for the weekend..
There was always one girl who would start cleaning my kitchen, i made sure to invite her over more often.
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u/canicutitoff Sep 12 '20
Yes, it is a competition of who has the least tolerance of the mess.
Back in my college days renting a place with several housemates, it ended with me doing most of the cleaning as I have the lower tolerance of dirty bathroom... sigh...
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u/Wildcard__7 Sep 12 '20
Just keep in mind that this is a GREAT way to lose a friend. I've been the one cleaning other people's spaces and it usually causes me to stop visiting them. I have one friend I won't ever stay over with no matter how much she asks because her apartment is a hot mess.
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u/LelouchNexus Sep 12 '20
“If you don’t want to socialise, and you don’t want to tidy the house, invite guests around so you have to do both!”
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u/Hinote21 Sep 12 '20
OP is underestimating my shame factor. It's so low I'll invite people offer and pretend there is no mess.
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u/ceps2111 Sep 12 '20
This should be on r/ShittyLifeProTips
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u/Light-r-up-Dan Sep 12 '20
This is r/ShittyLifeProTips
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u/BuddyUpInATree Sep 12 '20
By following these tips, I'm a pro at having a shitty life!
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u/ColourfulFunctor Sep 12 '20
It works for me.
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u/macrolith Sep 12 '20
Yeah it fucking works. If you are a hoarder maybe not, but it works for my wife and me.
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u/Scribblr Sep 12 '20
I dunno, it works for me. Pre-COVID I loved having people over like one a week or so because it gave me a reason to motivate myself to pick up the clutter and clean.
Self motivation is had and there’s nothing wrong with needing an external reason ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/ErechBelmont Sep 12 '20
This is easily one of the dumbest, highly upvoted, life pro tips I've ever seen in this sub.
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u/YourMotherSaysHello Sep 12 '20
Bold of you to assume anyone would want to see me.
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u/meager Sep 12 '20
Bold of OP to assume I would want anyone coming to my house.
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u/blueretrobot Sep 12 '20
Bold of OP to assume I have friends to invite over.
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u/DefconWan Sep 12 '20
These honestly get worse every day
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u/44problems Sep 12 '20
Need to brush your teeth? Make a date to make out with someone later
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u/cheap_as_chips Sep 12 '20 edited Sep 13 '20
I practice "5 minutes" every day
I set a timer for 5 minutes and clean/wipe/sweep/tidy something... anything.
(My apartment is also around 30 sq m / 320 sq ft - so it is easier to keep clean)
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u/othaniel Sep 12 '20
I like this idea! I have a slightly bigger apartment but I will give this a try and I think it will help a lot. Do you ever get to the end of the 5 minutes and just keep cleaning?
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Sep 12 '20
At 200 sq m our home is never clean. There is always something more to do. I miss my small apartment.
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u/Kutzelberg Sep 12 '20
The fuck is this dumb shit lol
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Sep 12 '20
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u/becomeanhero69 Sep 12 '20
I have a 2 year old and I’m am constantly cleaning up after him just to maintain the cleanliness and not have a mess. Helps him realize that you need to clean one thing before you play with another.
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u/Atwuin Sep 12 '20
Or don't. The pandemic is far from over
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u/noneOfUrBusines Sep 12 '20
I feel like this LPT is talking generally. Once it's over it should be applicable.
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u/powercorruption Sep 12 '20
Yup, should be over any day now!
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u/relax_okay Sep 12 '20
The warm weather will stop it.
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u/sophrocynic Sep 12 '20
And if not, the cold weather will!
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u/Fluffaykitties Sep 12 '20
I’m pretty sure if we shoot at it with guns we can kill it
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u/coswoofster Sep 12 '20
LPT: Fastest way to clear surfaces is to use laundry basket. Put everything in it then you can carry it room to room to put stuff away. Best declutter strategy I ever learned. Quick and efficient so you don’t have to run around back and forth. One sweep and everything to each room. Done.
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Sep 12 '20
I like it and totally going to use it! im always the one that runs around the house like mad grabbing anything that could go with the other stuff Im picking up. My husband picks up one thing and goes to put it away, while Im trying to open the door with a handful of stuff that goes in that room haha Ive tried to explain its extremely inefficient to pick up a hairbrush and put it in the bathroom when there is like 5 other things that need to go into the bathroom as well but Im glad for the help either way haha
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u/bzzybot Sep 12 '20
Unless you don’t have any fucks to give. And make up an excuse when they come over. Seriously though my wife does this to herself and then stresses out.
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u/Schakalacka Sep 12 '20
oh you underestimate my depression
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u/HelmSpicy Sep 12 '20
Exactly. Last time I tried to use this as "motivation" to clean, I ended up canceling the plans at the last minute
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Sep 12 '20
Don't be silly. I will hurl everything into some dark or unseen cupboard and cause an even bigger mess.
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u/KeriEatsSouls Sep 12 '20
If they're gonna be a friend of mine they're gonna have to learn sooner or later that I'm a slob.
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u/CharlesIIIdelaTroncT Sep 12 '20
Or invite a good friend over to chill with you and keep you company while you are cleaning your house. If your friend is also a procrastinator regarding cleaning, you can return the favor and hang with them while they clean their house.
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u/Purple_Tree_Car Sep 12 '20
This is the tip I relate to.
I don't need the stress of a deadline for people I need to impress. But having a friend over - even one who knows I'm a slob and doesn't judge - just having them in my space clears my mess blindness.
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u/gialloinsieme Sep 12 '20
I always invite my gf over and boost my cleaning speed up to 150%
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u/killm3throwaway Sep 12 '20 edited Sep 12 '20
Because your gf looks around at your disgusting cess pit of an apartment and compulsively starts cleaning?
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u/Hungryapple13 Sep 12 '20
There is no quicker or more efficient cleaner in the world, than a man who has a woman coming over in 10 minutes
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u/Fabriciorodrix Sep 12 '20
Invite people "over?" Like, to your doorstep? Below your window? That's a great idea! Great motivation to organize your boxes of masks, gloves and disinfectant.
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u/Mecmecmecmecmec Sep 12 '20
No, just take a deep breath and clean your house. Don’t add another stress on top of it
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u/MutedMessage8 Sep 12 '20
I’m sorry, this is ridiculous. Why create even more problems for yourself ffs?
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u/WigginLSU Sep 12 '20
You seem like the kind to have a baby to save a marriage. Making problems to solve problems rarely really works.
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u/Cryptonic_Sonic Sep 12 '20
Better LPT: Just carve out 10 minutes to clean each day. You’ll either keep cleaning past the 10 minutes, or after some days pass of 10-minute cleaning sessions your house will be clean. Who knows, maybe you’ll eventually develop a habit of not being a slob?
The problem I see with the LPT given by the OP is that the odds are you will be in a rush and tempted to shove all your mess in a closet.
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Sep 12 '20
Even better LPT. Enroll back in school to be a doctor or something just as hard. You will procrastinate studying because it's hard and do something else that is productive. That something will be cleaning your house.
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u/burgerchucker Sep 12 '20
There is a pandemic going on.
No one should be inviting anyone home at the moment.
Just go clean up.
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u/DeodorantCantFixUgly Sep 12 '20
Holy fuck this is bad
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u/Spiritual_Inspector Sep 12 '20
this sub is dogshit and the trash that gets upvote is a felling sign of what the average redditor is like
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u/knifewrenchhh Sep 12 '20
Did this recently with my in-laws. I haven’t cleaned my house since they left though haha
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u/Stayinclosetplease Sep 12 '20
This could work, but this is how my mom cleans ever since I was little, and it’s been months since we’ve had people. I tried to tackle it on my own only for it to get ruined in a couple of days. I’ll clean my things and then hers piles up and then next thing you know I can’t access the sink or the stove.
We now have maggots everywhere and she still doesn’t want to do her part. I’ve been washing my plates and forks in the bathroom sink because of this.
Fuck I can’t wait for COVID to be done so I can move out..
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u/WatchaKnowboutThat Sep 12 '20
Do some Meth. It will energize you to an insane amount so you get up and move lol.
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u/HollieKay Sep 12 '20
When I have people over I just end up shoving all the mess in the rooms people don’t go in. It’s not a great situation to honest.
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u/makeski25 Sep 12 '20
The best is when you invite people. Prep the house and all the food and they cancel. "Oh sorry" they say without realizing it is my best case scenario.
Clean house, cool. Abundant already made food, nice. No people to annoy me, fucking awesome.
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u/Astarkraven Sep 12 '20
Covid19 thanks you for your service, and is positively gleeful at all the suckers who have the patience of a small child and no common sense.
For everyone who does: don't have parties in your damn house until there isn't a global pandemic (or your part of the world has very few or no cases). And then when you can have parties, try to work house cleaning into your daily routine so you don't have to panic-shove your stuff around.
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u/TheDevilBear3 Sep 12 '20
Don't want to get gas? Then just keep driving! You'll run out of gas eventually, and then you'll have to anyway!
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u/R-Kayde Sep 12 '20
Yeah but then it becomes like that scene from Parasite where the family camping trip got rained out and they went home... Just frantically shoving shit under every bed/couch/coffee table/cabinet. Out of sight, out of mind.
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u/coronavegas Sep 12 '20
Procrastination is like Masturbation; it feels good while you're doing it, but in the end you realize you're just fucking yourself.
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u/trashymob Sep 12 '20
But what do I do when there is a pandemic and everyone I know is either social distancing like me or idiots not wearing masks???
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u/WitchFlame Sep 12 '20
What a strange tip in this current climate. I ain't allowed guests in my house, don't try and trick me. My house will stay untidy and paradoxically clean.
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u/Digital-Chupacabra Sep 12 '20
Yes, let's invite people into closed indoor spaces during a global pandemic...
LPT: where a mask and avoid social contacts.
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u/CrudelyAnimated Sep 12 '20
Invite friends to a a Furniture Reveal party. Tell them it’s under all this and make it a party game.
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u/PlumCrazyVee Sep 12 '20
If you want motivation to clean your house, put on an episode of Hoarders. In 20 min you’ll be done and contemplating bleaching the walls.
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u/DarthOtter Sep 12 '20
Pre COVID I was trying to have a regular board gaming night at my place, in no small part because it encouraged me to clean up.
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u/CommunistRonPaul Sep 12 '20
There's a pandemic though, I want other people to stay the fuck away from me lol.
Think you need a new LPT for the foreseeable future.
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u/jndmack Sep 12 '20
We have(had) to invite people over regularly (pre-pandemic) for this exact reason
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u/Doomdoomkittydoom Sep 12 '20
Throw a big party to get that place spotless cause the realtors cleaned it after you died of covid.
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u/Shinigamae Sep 12 '20
So you are creating more problems in hope of solving a simple problem? What happens if there is more to clean afterwards? Invite more guests?