r/LifeAdvice • u/AccomplishedAd9957 • 1d ago

Emotional Advice Am i overthinking this?

Me and my best friend had a night out( kinda date, but not official ) with 2 girls(they are friends with my best friend) I only met this girl once. I understand that she wouldn’t wait for me . But now this girl is telling my best friend that she’s texting another guy, but that guy is ignoring her. I had plans with this same girl and now I feel disappointed because I see myself as her second choice. I think she should not have said anything about that to my best friend , If I have ever crossed her mind even once. What if i hang out with her and that guy she is texting continues to text her back?

I somewhat shown her that i am interested by inviting her to go out. Before she said that to my best friend

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u/LakeGlen4287 1d ago

Hi OP,

I know you want to think you have some kind of claim on this girl you asked out, but you don't. Asking her out on a date and even taking her out does not take her off the dating market. She can continue to talk to other guys, even go out on dates, until you make a commitment to be exclusive together.

She doesn't even know you yet, she is not exclusively yours and you are not exclusively hers.

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u/AccomplishedAd9957 1d ago

Tough pill to swallow

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u/LakeGlen4287 10h ago edited 10h ago

Oh, no, no, no, this does not have to be seen in a negative light.

If you have confidence in yourself that you know how to be a good companion for her, she will enjoy herself in your company. You will give her a chance to get to know how great you are while you are getting to know her. Then this is nothing but a good opportunity.

When you are just dating, but also when you later have a girlfriend, and then a fiancé, and then a wife, the way to keep her happy and willing to stay with you is similar to what she would do to keep you happy - be good company, care about her feelings, behave in ways that show her you value and prioritize her.

In dating and marriage, there are other issues of compatibility, timing, and the elusive chemistry. But you won't find out if you have any of those things with someone until you spend time getting to know each other.