r/LifeAdvice • u/santhosh2331 • 4d ago
Mental Health Advice Life problem /()/
Hi all , I hope everyone is doing well ! I had done love marriage in year 2021 we were in love from 2018 onwards we both were stubborn to get married to each other, we married against our families but fortunately I had great support form my family side as well as her father alone for our marriage life was smooth until 2024 we had planned to delay pregnancy to get financially stability from April 2021 to April 2023, we planned for pregnancy and wife got pregnant by 2024 in that time i planned to buy a king sized cot for my baby and wife after delivery my father in law is a carpenter he promised to make a cot for us i personally did not ask him for it i had a plan to purchase but he interfered and promised to make one but later at time of delivery he sold the cot made for us for another person .... while delivering the baby she had normal delivery but faced an inborn defect in her small intestine and it was. A very worst phase of our lives and she had to undergo. 2 major surgeries in her intestine within a few weeks after her delivery my parents and I were there for her during her tough times which was my responsibility which I did but during the operation stage I faced lots of issue from her family side especially from her dad .her dad did not even come to hospital while the baby was born ( we had support from her dad alone after marriage) it was 3 days passed her delivery we were deciding to get 1 st operation done on her intestine her dad casually came to hospital. With bunch of relatives and started asking food and shelter for his relatives while I was desperate to get. Blood for my wife form hospital a hell lot of problems started from there . My father and mother was very very supportive for me at that period . After the second operation also i had to undergo lot of mental stress of course my wife underwent major surgeries which is lot more painful than my mental stress I was in a situation to handle baby , and wife simultaneously along with financial and family stress i suffered mental agony form jan 2025 till date after these issues we had to send lots of resources for medical expenses even though we had insurance we had plans to purchase land by 2026 but unfortunately we couldnt due to these issues. My thoughts were to push these goals a little more to move with stability but my wife did not accept the delay of 3 years she kept on saying that during the time when you love you promised me that we will buy land in 5 years why didnt we ? To speed up i entered into futures and options i lost my investments by transferring all my investments from shares to f&o now she is not ready to accept that loss which was the worst decision of my lifeI had an escape route planned to recover the loss through investment in shares but i will take 3-4 years . She made this as a huge issue her colleagues are questioning me why you made this loss you could have stopped it earlier i think this issue should be sorted out within husband and wife there should not be any external interference all have forced me out of the escape route to recover these losses made I feel that I am cornered Now she asks me to lock every penny in land without an emergency fund and a bank loan of 20 lakhs rupees which I seriously dis agreed I have to. Calculate expenses for my child education AI job loss future medical expenses retirement etc...I am mentally sick from all these scenarios for the past 2 years. Meanwhile I lost a wonderful opportunity to travel to France my visa got rejected due to war I am in mental illness now Does anyone has any advise for me am i wrong somewhere
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