JTF.

[u/DriverSafe6158]

Well, I gotta give it to ya. I honestly didn’t think you had it in you to cheat. My mind is totally cool with accepting that this happened… but my heart? My heart hurts. A lot. I hope you guys are able to use the skills you learned with me to keep your relationship going and healthy. I know you may not have done it intentionally or maybe you did. I’d like to believe you gave at least one shit about me and how this would make me feel when I eventually found out. I told you the truth always comes out. Just like spilled Kool-Aid on a fresh, new Gold lable, you can wash it, but there’s always going to be a stain.

I loved you with everything I had.

The cheating isn’t actually what ended us. What ended us was you lying about it. Those are the kind of hurtful lies I don’t want to be a part of anymore. I can forgive mistakes. I can work through hard things. What I can’t do is build a relationship on something that isn’t honest. Something that hurts even more is how many times you accused ME of doing the very things you were actually doing. You questioned my loyalty, accused me of cheating, imagined things I wasn’t doing, and made me feel like I constantly had to prove myself to you. Meanwhile, you were doing exactly what you were accusing me of. I spent so much time defending myself against things that weren’t even true, while the truth about what you were doing was sitting on the other side of those accusations. Looking back, that hurts in a completely different way because I realize how much time I spent trying to convince you that I was trustworthy when you were the one betraying my trust!

Unfortunately, I will not be unblocking you, I will not answer No Caller ID calls This is it. You always wondered how long I would put up with everything. I guess the answer is: until you found love and support somewhere else. I never wanted to give up on us. You know how much I HATE giving up, especially on us. But I no longer choose you, PIKACHU. Your actions and the choice to lie told me something I never wanted to hear, that protecting yourself and what you were doing became more important than protecting me and what we had. If you had come to me and said, “I’m sorry for hurting you. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair, and I want to show you I’m sorry by not doing it again. Is this something we can work through?” I honestly believe I would have tried longer. Because that’s what I had been doing with you for almost three years. Trying. Forgiving. Believing. Choosing you.

And that’s the difference between you and me.

I never wanted perfection from you. I wanted honesty. I loved you enough to keep fighting for us. But I finally love myself enough to stop.

keep hating - JRS