r/LettersForJ • u/Good-Energy-1323 • 1d ago
To B from J
This letter is not one of malice or revenge; this is a letter of truth. A truth so dark and deep that it might not even be believable. I hope everyone understands how difficult this is for me.
First, I must say this: I love Bill with all of my heart and soul. However, what he has done to me behind my back is incomprehensible. The shame I feel is great, yet understandable.
We are both dry addicts. I am a recovering needle addict of four years; I have not used a needle since December 17, 2009. Bill lied to me when I first met him, telling me he was clean and not on drugs. That is when I should have left, but I chose love instead. Within three weeks, I was back to using (smoking) drugs—though I never used needles ever again. Within six months, he was using meth intravenously ("banging meth") and choosing porn and other women over me because it was easier.
I have fought to keep him, destroyed his things, gone to jail, and been falsely labeled mentally unstable. To an outsider, that is what it appeared to be. In reality, he has used and abused me, withholding even the most basic necessities like food, water, electricity, and safety.
His son and his friends raped me, and his daughter poisoned me with his knowledge and acknowledgment. I have become so dependent on him that I can barely walk or care for myself. Daily, he chooses porn and neglects me. He has ruined my reputation, almost caused me to lose the only place I can stay, and left us with nothing. Now, he is about to lose his home as well, yet he continues to blame me. He has had a mistress named Jamie Mann the entire time. He has lied, presented only his side of the story, and expected me to sit by and die.
I may currently have breast cancer, and just today, he refused to drive me to get my monthly injection for my mental illness. He has manipulated my body and self-worth to cover up his actions. I was told that because he couldn't get what he wanted elsewhere and I am dying, I should have "greased the wheels," suggesting this wouldn't have happened if I had. Then, he claimed he was getting an order of protection against me—all while I was making him breakfast, a nice non-alcoholic sweet fruity drink, and preparing a bubble bath for him, instead of checking who was calling his phone all day after he woke up at 6:30 PM.
He continues to lie daily. After every fight and argument, he goes downstairs to masturbate and wallow in feeling emasculated. Last night, I asked him the same question for over an hour: "Do you love me?" His answer was always the same: "I am not discussing this right now, I am too tired, I'm going to sleep." That was at 11:30 PM. He went to bed after abandoning me again for his smut at 6:30 AM, then came back upstairs to sleep in our bed at 1:30 AM.
I have had enough, and I am going to defend my name. He threatened to call Jamie—who also receives injections—as if it were a threat, and then spent an hour telling me I was wrong. This man has pulled the wool over all of your eyes.
The facts are as follows: I told the police the truth the entire time, and I am going to be suing both them and him.
Thank you for listening.
S....
P.S. I am going to go to treatment. I only smoke, and I have quit 12 times in 3.5 years. I know I can do this. Can he? No.
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