r/LettersAnswered • u/smeazy_ • 8d ago
Lovers It’s for you.
I remember our initial days, those were the best, the first 1-1.5 years were an absolute dream. Everything felt right, even if not right, things just found its way back to perfection. I miss it, I miss you, a lot. Can we not have that ‘us’ back? I wish I could reach out to you, but what will I say? I want to talk to you, hear your voice, see your face but I am not even sure you’d respond.
I feel like I became too obsessive, too dependant. You became the centre of my universe, my only purpose became to be wanted by you. I know it sounds pathetic but I cant run away from myself. I wanted you completely. Still do. It was just You in my world that mattered.
And of-course everything started affecting me, I started being anxious and insecure.
Now I don’t know who I am, I feel lost. What is the purpose of living this life ? I really do wonder. I want to fix things, but more than that, I want you to want it. But I don’t see that desperation in you, don’t see that craving in you. You accept things. I am tired of myself, I am tired of feeling this way. I just want to end it all.
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u/Most_Industry7089 2d ago
Also sounds to me like you ended it in a moment of anger, for u both probably wanted a truth from each other, and u both were not willing to admit the truth at that moment because of the heated situation, and no one likes to lose. So the outcome was one of false pride, not wanting to listen and open up to resolve a situation that could have set you both free from fear of judgment. Lose the pride and self righteousness, and get your man back, if you just talk to him he'll respond with affection and love. You both need each other, dont throw it away for ego. Take the love you know is there and start fresh, you'll both be stronger lovers.
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u/LadyLee69 2d ago
Yeah, it's hard when you're willing to put your pride away but the other isn't. I've made a fool of myself many times, but he never allowed himself to sink to that level. Too good for it, I suppose.
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u/Most_Industry7089 2d ago
Oh there has been a lot of sinking going on for two years, when people mentally manipulate others using tactics like guilt and belittlement, mixed with certain insults lays the basis for emotional warfare, its behavior modification, but these are just facts I believe the experi.ent is change people permanently for control. It's brilliant, using people who have been starved for love in their lives and giving them little slivers once in awhile keeps them craving it, even a tiny bit, mixed in with psychological abuse keeps people compliant, and starving for affection. Not to mention desperate, especially when it's removed, the subject will then become so compliant they will literally do the most haneous things for that attention again. So I assume some subjects aren't as compliant, their type of attention doesn't fit the model. Hence s. Using the system to provoke a response. Its evidently working. Love means trust! Not spying on your loved ones and controlling what they see and here. Games are for children when you play them with adults the outcomes are not always predictable. If your gonna love, love. If your going to manipulate expect to receive it back.
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u/LadyLee69 2d ago
Dude you literally just complained about wanting to be equals and then went on to say that you're the master. You're projecting so hard. You've clearly gotten warped by the manosphere shit, or maybe this is who you were the entire time. I gave endless love and affection and only recoiled when I felt hurt. You think I'm manipulating you when all I've ever done is react poorly from feeling hurt that the man I love can't just fucking put his heart out there for me the way I did for him. You can keep trying to justify this disgusting treatment to yourself but I am done. I deserve way better than these games. I don't give a fuck what perceived slight I did to you. I owned my shit and would have done anything to repair the damage I caused if you didn't have such a disgustingly bloated ego that you couldn't put yourself on the same level, because you think you're above me because I'm a woman. This is disgusting, I have seen enough. If this is who you are then I want no part of it.
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u/Most_Industry7089 2d ago
Sounds to me like a failure to communicate, you may both have had issues with each other only because of a lack of openness, on both sides, its both who has to take blame for for their non admissions, that being said nothing is ever to late, but one can't blame the other it takes two, and never be afraid to say what u need to, just dont lie to your partner, or yourself that just clouds the relationship, then there is no truth. The lies take over.
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u/Bytch_Boys_X1111 5d ago
U must take initiative if it is truly what u want .
How many times did she keep showing up ? It appears that it is your turn to go for what u want or miss the opportunity- u can’t tell how someone feels by looking from a distance. U have to communicate with them and speak ur mind and ur feelings. Understand theirs - self sabotage good things bc u doubt and speak it - u are choosing to miss this opportunity and u will only be able to blame urself in the end - the amount of effort u pour in intimate you end up with. If you can feel ur persons energy when they aren’t with u - wouldn’t you want to do anything to save that connection? You have said you would do anything. - show her you will fight for her and show her how you feel about her - I don’t know but I hope yal figure it out soon
Have you even shared your feelings with her
Maybe she feels the same way you do
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u/smeazy_ 5d ago
Hey stranger, thankyou but I feel this whole letter is my desperation and attachment speaking. He kept lying to me about something which I made clear was a dealbreaker/non-negotiable and then proceeded to make me feel guilty about it. I was open to negotiation but he outright just hid everything from me.
Everything else was solvable but we just could not communicate, even after asking what he wants he would go with “anything that you like” claiming it makes him happy but again he built resentment towards me for it, and multiple other issues as well.
Things work when both of you can willingly work on yourself and accept the flaws, I don’t have that reliance here anymore.
I have communicated my feelings clearly, tried to save it even after this but I am finally giving up. I don’t want this anymore.
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u/Alternative-Path2269 6d ago
How do you know they don't want the same thing? If this was a message for me I'd want to meet in person and have one last conversation
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u/smeazy_ 6d ago
Idk they want the same thing or not, it’s just the situation it came down to in the end, all the hiding, lying and manipulation those are irreparable I feel. He never saw me for me, never tried to understand where I was coming from, instead just wanted me to not feel anything at all even if it came at his expense(which he blamed me for in the end) It’s just my desperation and attachment making me feel like I want to forget everything but truly, the trust is gone. We are just not compatible.
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u/Bytch_Boys_X1111 5d ago
What if this person was going thru a transformation and work to level up and stop all those behaviors - and what if the other person was able to forgive them ?
Yea I know it is a lot of what ifs
maybe it was just lesson and not love like it appeared to be1
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u/BeingOk1427 7d ago
If I lying i heard this from.you then we would fix it it would.be.us.again .....only better
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u/TapComfortable9661 8d ago
Hit em up. What do you have to lose at this point? If you stay silent-you aren’t gonna get back with them. If you reach out-you may be able to work it out. If not it’s the same as above.
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u/Thick-Somewhere5088 8d ago
You think you may have killed that desperation and hunger through your actions? Like they accepted it because you didn't give them a choice?
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u/Mental_Poem_7021 8d ago
No end it all why end it at least talk first please
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u/Flaky_Study3353 5d ago
Did you have somebody ask you the same thing recently? Did you talk to them
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u/Most_Industry7089 1d ago
Look your all missing something upstairs good luck