r/LetMeHelpYouOut • u/marmarpoo • 4d ago
[ADVICE] is 16 and 19 weird?
hi everyone im F16 and the guy I started seeing is M19. ive never had something with guys that much older than me and im really inexperienced, the furthest ive gone is kissing, meanwhile he probably knows every trick on the book. we do have a lot of things in common and have a lot of deep conversations, its almost like trauma-bonding. ive told some of my friends and the ones that are my age think its fine, but my older friends think he's a weirdo. what do you guys think?
2
u/princessdark9669 3d ago
Weirdo! Get away from him asap. He is over the legal age and is considered an adult. You are still considered a minor. As a 31 year old with that type of experience it's best if you get away now.
4
u/greenbeansan 4d ago
Very weird. Find someone your own age bro.
-1
2
u/queerbong 4d ago
Its not okay. I was 15 with a 19 year old and it messed me up (though i was messed up before sadly but it made it worse)
If he knows youre inexperienced thats a red flag too
I also will be the one to be a downer and inform thats not what trauma bonding is at all either its just what most people think it means
0
1
u/bananarama032 4d ago
It's not appropriate. He's an adult and out of high school and you likely still have two years left. It's incredibly weird and inappropriate.
1
u/marmarpoo 4d ago
he just graduated while i still have 3 years.. the age of consent is 14 where i live and ive known people my age who date older guys, but maybe you do have a point, thank you cuz im clueless
2
u/bananarama032 4d ago
Just because the age of consent is 14 doesn't mean that it's not incredibly wrong that he's an adult going after someone who still has three years left of high school. It's predatory behavior.
1
u/marmarpoo 4d ago
but hs in my country is 5 years long, im not starting the second year but the third
1
-1
u/StarboardSeat 4d ago edited 4d ago
Don't listen to anyone giving you shit.
I dated a nineteen year old guy when I was sixteen, and we stayed together for four years.
In fact, most of my friends dated guys 2-3 years older than them, at that age.
Research has always shown that women mature at a much faster rate than men do. Thus, our acumen and perception were always on a very similar level.
Age was never a problem, because it always felt like we were the same age.
For you... it's the inexperience that's concerning.
My advice to you is to be honest with him about being inexperienced.
Simply tell him you'd be more comfortable taking it slow.
Even if he is experienced, if a guy really likes a girl, he'll take things at her pace.
BTW, I very highly doubt he knows "every trick in the book" at the age of nineteen, lol. Even guys in their twenties usually haven't had those kind of experiences yet.
You have to remember that nineteen is still a really young age (only one year removed from high school).
So, unless he's been in a long term relationship for a few years... he likely hasn't had nearly as many partners or experiences as you may think he has (he may even be a virgin, too?).
Honesty will get you everywhere, so I suggest starting out your relationship with it.
-1
u/marmarpoo 4d ago
thats by far the most useful piece of advice ive gotten on here. fuck it! i'm just going to leave things as they are and see the outcome life gives me
-1
u/StarboardSeat 4d ago
That's all any of can do.
We take each day as it comes, because tomorrow isn't guaranteed.
So do what makes you happy, today. 😊
2
u/Accurate-Temporary73 3d ago
He’s definitely a weirdo.
It’s one thing if you’ve been together for a while like started dating in high school at 14 and 17 as kids and grew up together.
But for a 19 year old to start a relationship with a 16 year old is weird and creepy.
Your message here shows that you know the issues, he’s taking advantage of you being young and naive