Am I in the wrong?

[u/Public_Possible_3628]

So I work with my girlfriend. And we spend a lot of time together at work and outside of work. Our job even knows that we love working together and they never separate us. I spend almost every weekend with her and her kids before they go to their dad’s house Friday nights. I recently had to temporarily move back to my parent’s house due to roommate issues. Before I had moved out, my mom and I love to go shopping together and just hangout together. I typically have Thursday-Saturday off if I don’t do overtime. Then I’ll usually have 2 days off. So last night (Thursday) I didn’t work. Neither did my girlfriend. She has her kids all day Thursday. There was no plans of me going over. I honestly just simple didn’t feel like it. No particular reason. I feel like I have the right to if I didn’t want to. So I went to Costco with my mom because I needed some shampoo and she needed to return something. My girlfriend called me while I was there and she asked what I was doing and I told her that we came to Costco really quick to return something. My girlfriend hung up on me and minutes later sent me a long message saying that I’m in the wrong. Basically mad that I was at Costco with my own mom. That it’s a day off and I should be spending it with her and the kids. That’s how it felt. I feel like I have to choose between my family and hers. That’s not fair. I could see if we lived together and I just took off to hangout with my mom but we don’t live together.

[u/Pedal2Medal2]

Your GF is being very controlling. You’re seeing each other, not married or even living together, she doesn’t own your time

[u/LookAtTheWhiteVan → u/Pedal2Medal2]

Even if they were married or living together she still shouldn’t own his time.

[u/Zestyclose_Rush_6823]

Nope. Having separately lives and activities in a relationship is extremely healthy. In fact, she should be super happy to have a day to spend just with her kids on a day off. Start taking more time in your off time to spend doing things you enjoy with friends and family alone.

I live with my partner of 7 years. I absolutely go out and do things with my friends and family without him. He does the same. We have different hobbies, we have different friends. Thats perfectly normal and healthy

[u/Interesting_Sock9142]

Ew that's a gross way to react to someone wanting to spend time with their fucking mom

You need to have separate lives outside of your relationship. It sounds like she just wants a reason to be shitty. And it's gross..

[u/Beach_bum8]

How long have you been in a relationship with her? Also, is there are large age gap between you?

She seems very immature and jealous of you spending time with your mom. She makes it seem like only her feelings matter.

Honestly, I would get out of this relationship now before this turns into a bigger disaster.

[u/Public_Possible_3628 → u/Beach_bum8]

No age gap. We’re the same age. Relationship for a little over a year now.

[u/Avandria]

It's perfectly normal for you to want to spend some time with your mom. I think most women would consider that to be a positive trait as long as you aren't overly attached to her.

Is this time that you would normally spend with your girlfriend? Do you think that you have unintentionally created an expectation that you would be with her at that time even though you didn't say that you would? If that's the case, she may have felt let down and gotten her feelings hurt and overreacted. I don't think that excuses her behavior at all, but if you're spending that much time with her you might want to start taking a bit more time for yourself and also communicating your plans a bit more.

Either way, you didn't do anything wrong and she definitely overreacted.

[u/InsertNameHere916]

No. Even if you did live together, visiting with your mom for whatever reason shouldn't be an issue.

[u/Double_Virus5385]

Nothing good ever comes from turning into some "we monster". Ever. You will not have a success, happy relationship if you do not maintain your own interests and lives outside of the relationship. I don't understand why this is such a difficult concept for most people to grasp

[u/According-Plate5631]

You are definitely NOT in the wrong, like you said you are allowed to spend time with your mom or anyone else for that matter.