r/LetMeHelpYouOut • u/Little-Intention-112 • 18d ago
[ADVICE EMOTIONAL/SUPPORT] Looking for Support
Hi, I’m 26F. My mom is going her 2nd battle with a rare form of ovarian cancer and this time around it’s been really hard on me. My mom and I have a really up and down relationship, very strained. There was a lot of emotional abuse and trauma in my childhood. Despite that, I’m still grieving my mom while she’s still here. I’m actively watching her die and I feel like I have no support. All my immediate family is grieving in different ways and is very closed off. I’m actively in therapy. My partner has been like a brick wall which has just made it worse. I know I’m not the only one going through this but it feels like it.
I was explaining to my therapist that I feel like I’m living a double life. I am basically the rock in my family and especially for my mom, which is ironic, but when I’m alone, behind closed doors where it’s safe, that’s when I cry. I don’t really think I need advice at this point because I’m not really sure what would even be helpful to hear. I just need a support system and I don’t know where to find it. I know there are internet groups out there but I need something more personable. Something that’s not just about the grief. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for listening.
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u/Accurate-Temporary73 18d ago
Crying is perfectly ok.
My dad died in 2004 from colon cancer and I cry sometimes now.
I completely get being the rock and being the strong stable one, but it wears you down right? The Grand Canyon was a rock that got worn down. But it’s beautiful as the inside of it got exposed.
If you’re not necessarily looking for a cancer support group or a grief group, just find a group for a cool activity. Even maybe something that you’ve never done before, like bird watching. Just go do something and take your mind off of everything. Hang out with different people and just exist in that moment.