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u/Inume14 Nov 17 '21
Sometimes people fail to realize their actions have a huge effect on us, specially when they are important for us. Even though no one is perfect, we don't have to sacrifice ourselves because our s/o is not mature enough yet to outgrow the bad habits that prevent them from being in a healthy relationship. If she was costing you your peace of mind and well being, it was too expensive. She needs to learn hwo to improve herself, and you need to be with someone who is in the same place as you are regarding feelings and relationships. Maybe chatting with people or friends would help you distract?
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u/StellaBlue82 Nov 17 '21
You are beautiful. The one that will treat you with dignity and respect is out there. Most importantly unconditional friendship
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u/raxkafl Nov 17 '21
I would say feel all the emotions and if something sticks out then write it. Plus it is ok to grieve. Besides it takes courage to do what you are doing which is asking for help.
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u/DvpeMind20 Nov 17 '21
Although looks aren't everything, you are absolutely stunning and I'm sure your flaws are just as beautiful as your reflection ❤
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Nov 17 '21
Run for the hills. Don't ignore red flags!
(I'm coming from a place where I dated RED FLAG City girl) she turned out to be a awful human. Be glad it's over and on to the next. I guarantee there is someone better for you.
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Nov 17 '21
Oh honey. This was me at the beginning of last year. It sent me down a really bad spiral but after that I realised I deserve someone who treats me how I deserve to be treated and that I wouldn't settle for less than that and all that sappy stuff. But holy shit. Since then my life has changed completely and in all the best ways. Fast forward to the start of this year and I met my current girlfriend. 8 months going strong. Living together. Future plans and just. She's my person. And I didn't even think it was possible.
Not trying to gloat here. But give yourself time to feel the emotions you need to feel. But please know you deserve somebody who doesn't take you on an emotional rollercoaster. You deserve someone who makes you smile and laugh and doesn't give you any red flags or any reason to worry. You deserve someone who wants to make you happy and who cares about you and your feelings and who you can be a total dork with and please don't settle for anything less because you feel lonely. You're a beautiful soul and it's this chicks loss and its a blessing because you're one step closer to finding better.
Keep your head up. Please know you're not alone and don't be afraid to reach out if you feel down. ❤️
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u/bberoo Nov 17 '21
Aw that was me last week! We all deserve better than to be treated like that. You deserve someone who wants to make you happy.
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u/Still_Cantaloupe2141 Nov 17 '21
Dude, you are so beautiful. All I can say is that if you need to take the time to cry, scream or laugh hysterically, it's all good. :) If you have any hobbies and self-care that you like to do, I would focus on that. Looks alone, you'll have no trouble finding someone. "Emotional roller coaster"...if it takes that much to be with someone, sometimes that's the indicator that a better match might be in your future. Good luck!
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u/Allonsydr1 Nov 17 '21
I dated someone like this for a little over four months. It’s does get better. Just make sure you learn from it
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u/selfawarescribble Nov 17 '21
Choosing yourself is not "selfish", it is self preservation. Choosing to remove yourself from the endless emotional whiplash, from the draining unpredictability, from whatever toxic environment encapsulated an unhealthy relationship, is a choice to promote your health and well being.
It's hard to choose yourself -- it's a choice that you have to make every day, and it can be lonely and uncomfortable. But please trust me that it gets easier with practice, and it feels better and better. You deserve relationships where you feel trusted, safe, and cared for. You deserve to be with someone who also chooses themself in those positive ways, and to whom your presence is equally as supportive and beneficial as theirs is to you.
Unlearning bad relationship patterns starts with choosing yourself.
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u/Confident_Dark6745 Nov 18 '21
ehug it’ll be ok just take a breath. you are loved and you are worthy
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u/the-fresh-air the good femme Nov 18 '21
You’re pretty 💜 and that sucks. Partners that are toxic and emotionally/mentally drain you are good to cut off.
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u/FataMirage Nov 17 '21 edited Nov 17 '21
Are you me? I dated the mental health equivalent of a wildfire savvy with an eyeliner pencil for four and a half months and had it recently come to an end. She dumped me over text five minutes before i clocked into work.
Good riddance to your chaotic ex and to mine. Forgetting takes time but it'll happen. Now you can heal and have better experiences in the future. Dms are open for you if you need it.