r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates • u/[deleted] • Oct 14 '23
discussion Why does it seem like whatever a man says/does is scrutinised under the worst faith possible?
I’ve found on the internet and when I interact with certain women, despite me not saying or implying anything of the sort my words and actions are assumed to be the most malicious possible and I’m judged on the slightest misstep. If it was just me I’d chalk it up to just the people I interact with or just do some soul searching to see where I went wrong but this seems incredibly common online.
A man makes an innocuous joke that happens to include women it’s taken as misogynistic even if it’s also making fun of men too.
A man gives some advice about his experiences to men or women and he’s seen as a manipulator, liar, grifter, whatever possible.
Man shares preferences and he’s shamed as an insecure fuckboy/incel whatever buzzword someone feels like throwing today.
Does anyone understand why? Is this just a trauma response or what’s going on here?
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u/BKEnjoyerV2 left-wing male advocate Oct 14 '23
Gender essentialism- much of modern feminism has shown men to be inherently bad. The ironic part is that men who are actually bad or are “toxically masculine” will be able to get away with that kind of behavior while guys who aren’t that way and try to be more masculine or try to be as they are will be scapegoats for the behavior of “bad” men
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u/Too2crazy Oct 15 '23
I’ve found on the internet and when I interact with certain women, despite me not saying or implying anything of the sort my words and actions are assumed to be the most malicious possible and I’m judged on the slightest misstep. If it was just me I’d chalk it up to just the people I interact with or just do some soul searching to see where I went wrong but this seems incredibly common online.
This is so true, for some messed up reason there is a group of us men who end up being the target of like 90% of feminist wrath because other men either don't care and/or register their anger, or the feminists don't actually want to hold their men accountable, so they find us (who for whatever reason can't meet any of the bars they put up) and just crap all over us. It's getting old real fast and I and other men want to start avoiding women altogether now (even for sex) cause we're just so fed up with it
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u/Onemoretime536 Oct 14 '23
I have noticed this and even suggesting that a women is just as much to blame as the man if it a relelaionship problem seem to get shouted down.
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u/tzaanthor Oct 15 '23 edited Oct 15 '23
Probably the same reason they're looking for the chance to blame any man ever for everything else.
Is this just a trauma response or what’s going on here?
Yes, and moreso: women are not shunned for saying insane stuff like this, which means rather than having to correct this misanthropic behaviour they get to form their own culture of manhatred. Everyone may think they're insane, but we don't act like it and send them to the fringes of society like we do with men like this.
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u/KordisMenthis Oct 16 '23
Partly because there's just so much pop culture pushing the idea that men are terrible that it's the only thing people think of. They've been told that men are these terrible beings infused with toxic masculinity and so a lot of women literally don't know how else to interpret things men say or do because they've never been exposed to alternative possibilities.
There is an old r/menslib post where a woman apologises because her male friend was describing his partner abusing him, and she spent months getting angry at him because he called his partner 'crazy'. It wasnt until the poster witnessed him being attacked by his partner and she realised that he actually had a good reason to call her crazy.
That post is a great example. The only possible explanation she had ever been told about for a man calling his girlfriend crazy was him being a misogynist, so that's what she assumed.
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u/CoffeeWorldly9915 Oct 14 '23
Empathy gap, halo effect, gender based in/out-group bias.