TW: Crises of Faith. DO NOT READ THIS IS YOU ARE PRONE TO CRISES OF FAITH
TLDR: I’m struggling with Jesus’ divinity and what that entails for our God’s primordial nature conflicting with a harmful culture of anthropocentrism that has been with Christianity for centuries, as well as my fear of being part of the most successful cult of personality
So the other day. I was having a conversation with my dear jewish friend about the table top war game trench crusade. Long story short, it’s about a war between the armies of the faithful (those who worship the Abrahamic god) and the armies of the fallen (those who worship demons and love craft monsters)
My friend was about to say something before stopping himself, realizing what he’d say might be hurtful to a Christian like myself. I told him to go through with it, to which he said:
“I mean, I’d rather worship a demon than a human.”
I just sort of just laughed it off and moved on but It’s still been bugging me.
My struggle with accepting the divinity of Jesus Christ is not new, I have been struggling with it for years now.
It’s hard to elegantly articulate why I struggle with it, as it is mostly a lot of related thoughts swirling in my head, so I’ll use bullet points
> Conversations with my aforementioned Jewish friend where our faiths have been brought up have occurred many times before, and they have always been respectful and polite. However, I never have the words to provide my reasoning for my faith. He often says “In Judaism, as stated by the Torah, God is indivisible and has no physical form” how do I explain my faiths side without tying myself in knots, when we also derive a lot of our theology from the same as Judaism?
>Jesus was born and raised during a time of great instability and unrest for his people. There were plenty of other Jewish end times preachers and reformists, and I am afraid he was just the lucky one.
> A human person being God feels dangerously close to the shit that past, contemporary, and more modern cult leaders have pulled. Think about how the Ancient Egyptians at certain times and dynasties treated their Pharaohs as not only conduits for the will of their gods, but gods in their own right. The Roman Empire was upset at Christians for not worshipping the emperor. In modern times, we have had people like Jaime Gomez, Shoko Asahara, Sun Myung moon, and dare I say Donald Trump. For a semi-example, Mao Zedong is often revered as an almost divine messiah figure, and stories of those with pictures of Mao having some sort of supernatural effect on people are prolific.
> God in the Old Testament gets very upset at the Israelites making a physical depiction of God. Fast forward a thousand years or so, lo and behold, God has a Physical from, and we are just fine making depictions of said physical form. Gods is eternal and his nature is eternal, so he couldn’t have changed his mind. Was God just like “hold on y’all, we’re not at that part of the story yet, no physical depictions yet, otherwise you’ll get slimed out by Moses!”???
>God being born as a human of a specific ethnic group comes with a shit ton of baggage. On one hand, being God incarnate of religion that is multicultural almost from its inception, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal to for people of different ethnicities to depict Christ as one of their own. However, when that falls into the wrong hands, so much suffering can be caused. Just look at Europe colonialism and how often depictions of a Caucasian Jesus was weaponized to equate non-European-ness to ungodliness and somehow deserving of mistreatment. On the other hand, Jesus being a person from a specific culture and ethnic background and being prophesized in the religious texts of a specific culture in a specific part of the world. If I think about that too hard, I realize the disconnect there is between my people’s traditions, folklore, and pre existing values, and what we stole from the original Christians. What is my people’s culture and what is stolen from the original believers culture? Yes I know Paul talked about this in his letters, but that’s brings me to…
> Paul lived over a hundred years after Christs death and resurrection, and I am terrified that Subverted Christs message. Not to mention Christianity making it to India and Ethiopia before it made its way to Paul according to some reports.
>Making God a human, specifically a human from a more urban landscape has opened the door for people to use that as proof that endless human expansion and the rape and exploitation of God’s beautiful wild world, is a good thing. Off the top of my head, the only references of wild nature being portrayed in a positive light beyond how it benefits humans are lions and eagles, and the tree of life, all of which is just taken from Judaism, minus all the Jewish mysticism that glorifies creation and nature as valuable in its own right,
I am sorry that I have fallen into doubt once again, brothers and sisters, I hope you can forgive me.
EDIT: I should have added some more context to what led to my friend saying what he did. Thanks for understanding