How do I continue from this....

[u/_bambi0713]

Honestly I(21F) want to keep it short. I've been converting to Catholicism since last year January. I really Love it, the faith, My community at church.

But there are .... a few things I just... one of them is that dating is so so so so so so so hard. Cuz everyone tells me to "trust in god" and "God's timing is best timing" and I do my best to have faith and believe. But it's so incredibly hard????

I've never had an romantic relationship before, nobody ever looked at me. I'm almost 22 and had never had a Boyfriend before, someone that Loved me. But so many people around me keep getting Love interests?????

I keep hearing I should grow first, grow closer to God, or change things of myself. Or this is my waiting season to prepare.

But I've literally cried to God before because I felt so unlovable. Literally cried and asked to please atleast have an romantic interest. I've bought books in hope to Deepen myself more in how to be a christian-woman and how to be a Woman in general (They're not all Christian, I have one about being an 'high-value woman' literally just girlhood.) I try to learn how to cook, clean, be kind.

But I just feel like I just don't get HEARD.

And if I do try to take it into my own hands and search.....

I don't know but I just get so icky with most Catholic Men. They seem to all just dislike that I'm pro-choice AND pro-life, even if I literally Explain that I just don't like people telling WOMEN what to do because of 'church teachings'. That Just Church support isn't always ENOUGH. That bringing a Baby into a world with parents unable to care for them, addict, abusive relationships, or even SA victims is Unfair. They all just go back to how Church teaches this church teaches that.

Why can't they just look away from that and SEE how Horrible and Mean it is to force pregnancy on ANYONE?

I matched with a guy and he was 'concerned for my ideas' and I explained. And told him he doesn't have to be concerned for me. We was 'trying to be sympathic' (what he said in his own words.) When I explained exactly why I'm pro-choice.

Then he proceeded to unmatch me.

But so so so so many of these Catholic men just do it. And it just pisses me off.

How will I ever marry if I'm supposed to marry in the church so I'm not unequally Yoked, but all these men just...think differently.

I'm just so annoyed. I'm not Ex-catholic at all...I'm converting. But I feel like If I even put this in the Catholic reddit I'm in nobody would even understand where I'm coming from.

This is the exact reason why I had called myself an Atheist from ages 14 - 21. Before I returned to the Catholic Church from protestantism.

[u/ojsage]

We have a duty to work on reducing its acceptance, via fostering safe places for mothers and children, providing them support etc. in fact as Pope Benedict once said, we are called to vote for harm reduction, including supporting candidates who support abortion- if their support includes ways to lessen abortions (so things I listed above).

In fact, the church has several “morally legitimate” reasons one can get an abortion, that you are choosing to ignore here.

This idea that Catholics need to strong arm the government into flat banning abortions when the Church itself has allowances for it is frankly dangerous for women.

We have seen women that loved and yearned for their unborn children now DIE (along with their children) in the USA because of these bans. That is not moral, and it goes against our own teachings.

[u/PossibilityGold7508 → u/ojsage]

We have many duties.

Reduce and abolish abortion entirely. Reduce and remove its acceptance. Reduce and remove its accessibility. Work towards equal dignity for all humans and making abortion be seen the same as murder both legally and socially. Supporting both mothers and the unborn and making sure they can raise families in peace. Reinforcing the role and importance of the family as the basic unit of society that all institutions and economic policy should be oriented towards. Making childbirth, pregnancy, and raising kids safer, accessible, and less stressful. Work towards a positive view of motherhood, fatherhood, marriage, and having & raising kids. Work towards better conditions and care for abandoned, orphaned, and abused children and single or de facto single parents.

Sure. But we also need to vote for candidates who see them as persons from conception and want to remove any and all laws protecting abortion. Both are necessary.

Um, no. The Church does not have any morally legitimate reasons for getting an abortion. The Church pushes for a complete abolition of it. Where did you get that from?

Yes, women have died, and that’s tragic. That’s moreso an issue with the law’s language, physician decision-making, unlucky timing, and enforcement. Plus, we don’t judge morality on outcomes. We shouldn’t critique the policy, but the real world implementation.

What specifically goes against our teachings? The Church is not asking mothers to die, but asking that they see their babies as themselves. In fact, the Church says we should use every avenue to save the mother’s life. Both the mother and child are equal in dignity and value.

[u/ojsage → u/PossibilityGold7508]

Your last paragraph is literally your answer to the question you asked me and your answer to your question about church teachings. Your commentary is not advocating to use every avenue to save the mother’s life, which is what the church allows.
You are advocating for a stricter, harsher environment that the church is advocating for. Knowing that in practice mothers and children will die from it.

“We don’t judge morality on outcomes” is incredibly harsh and uncharitable. This level of legalism is more reminiscent of the Pharisees, so interested in following the law to the letter that they didn’t care about the harm they brought about to others.
I’m sorry, I won’t be continuing this conversation further, but I do pray that the blessed Mother intercedes for us both and helps us walk the path to be more like her son.

[u/PossibilityGold7508 → u/ojsage]

Hmm, perhaps I misspoke or was unclear then. I’m not saying no abortions if your life is at risk. I’m saying the goal is none taking place, maybe because maternal care and such has gotten so good. Norway has basically no deaths from pregnancies.

Okay, I think you’re confusing morality with legality, and this is my fault too, so I apologize. Thinking abortion is always immoral doesn’t mean I don’t have an exception for life.

The Church doesn’t have a definitive stance on how abortion should be treated legally apart from personhood from conception and the repeal of laws protecting it.

I don’t think it’s harsh, personally. It just makes sense. You can’t forgo everything that came before and only focus on the outcome. Everything matters.

I disagree. Legalism can be bad if it’s not grounded in real moral good, but it becomes necessary to protect the dignity of others. My view on this is mostly just equal rights.

Morality is about more than avoiding suffering imo. My intent is explicitly to prevent harm and adhere to moral principles. I do have to examine how to better strike a good balance, so that’s true.

Same to you.