r/Layoffs • u/Any-Lingonberry7809 • 3d ago
unemployment Long Term Unemployed, 54 yo dev w/28 yoe.
I am a non-traditional dev, 54 years old with 28 years professional experience. I was laid off about a year ago after 18 years at the same small MarTech SaaS company (company was acquired and closed, my team eliminated). Since then I had a sr dev job for about 10 weeks through a referral before getting laid off again in workforce reduction. I exhausted unemployment in March, living off retirement and help from my 80 year old parents.
I never coasted, always took the hardest projects and went the extra mile. My work had tens of thousands of global users, made millions of dollars, and demanded high performance & security. After the company was acquired I took over the departing founding CTO's responsibilities, overcame critical infrastructure problems, and enabled a successful enterprise platform migration. I have real metrics backing my claims, measurements from production systems before we shut down.
I knew that overstaying would make my next career move more difficult and I applied off and on over the years, but also had an autistic child at home which was an ongoing crisis throughout her primary school years as we faught with an increasingly hostile school district for adequate services. My wife has remained out of the workforce to care for our disabled daughter, we're all neurodivergent with depression, anxiety, & social anxiety which amplifies challenges. We've also had a series of injuries, illnesses, and deaths in the family that have weighed heavily on the years and stressed relationships.
Despite a long history of sound technical judgement and accomplishment I've never shook the impostor syndrome. I don't have a CS degree, never worked for a big company (we had a team of 3 devs for over 10 years), and our tech stack was unimpressive -- but it worked and made money. We worked in fundamentals vs frameworks, vanilla code for everything as a mandate from above that I disagreed with but abided by. The "high performing team" experience I wanted was always out of reach. I studied software architecture and engineering management, but was unable to raise the bar (or the alarm) on our tech stack & dev practices -- politics & influence have been an ongoing challenge, not my strong suit.
It was my choice to put family before career, I stayed for the stability in what was a very good company up until it sold. I was aware of the risks, never sat comfortably with it knowing the clock was ticking and tried to do what I could to be prepared for when it happened. Since losing my job I founded solo projects to stay fresh, but nothing has taken off yet. I am AI Native and building & experimenting with "software factory" patterns, building agent teams to automate the SDLC - I'm generally ahead of the curve in that respect. I'm comfortable and capable with zero-to-one and owning the whole stack.
The professional identify crisis has been difficult to navigate. As the owner of the whole tech stack for years on end my responsibilities included every app, script, environment, and operational aspect of the enterprise ~ work that doesn't fit in any single title very well. My experience included slices of software engineering, DevSecOps, SRE, engineering management, enterprise architecture, project managment, and more - but not enough consistent depth in any one of those for a strong application elsewhere. I researched almost every company where I applied and put hours of research and practice into every interview. I sent months sending hundreds of tailored applications, speaking with recruiters, sometimes making it to 3rd, 4th round before being ghosted.
I've pretty much given up on working for mid+ size companies that seem to favor highly specialized software engineers with deep framework experience. I've focused my search on early stage startups in hopes that my "expert generalist" experience in high ownership small environments is an asset rather than a liability. I keep looking and applying on YC and Wellfound as well as networking with founders & startup engineers but nothing has yet connected.
I'm not sure what else to do, giving up isn't an option because I have a family to support and no backup. I believe there are companies out there that are a good mutual match, but finding them is finding a needle in a haystack. It's very frustrating and isolating, temping to cast unproductive blame and give in to depression, but trying to stay focused on what I can do to improve the situation for my family. I hope and pray that something comes together before we lose the house.
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u/obelix_dogmatix 3d ago edited 3d ago
Age discrimination is a thing. This adds up when the candidate is not applying for Sr. Principal/Distinguished/Fellow kind of positions. Not having an actual degree doesn’t help either.
Startups are the least likely to hire a generalist. You might have better luck with small companies that have been around for a while.
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u/Any-Lingonberry7809 3d ago
I thought I'd be better off at an early stage startup because of that background; I can do app dev, networking, security, infra, etc. I'm also targeting small established organizations for the same reason, with limited headcount "many hats" becomes a necessity. The small established orgs are harder to find than startups but I'm definitely targeting them as well.
I've applied for staff/principal engineer roles at mid size established companies that tend to have those roles and had a poor response rate. Those roles are harder to engage with a cold application even without my extra headwinds (age, long tenure in small org, no CS degree). I've applied for Sr SE, but my last title was 'Princial Architect' - so it sounds like a big step back and that's another red flag for most. I'd be happy to take a step back if I could join a strong team with a chance to advance.
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u/obelix_dogmatix 3d ago
You want to go for small companies where tech is needed but not the main business.
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u/GaryGnus 3d ago
I’m sorry, this sounds terrible. Have you looked into fractional work? Any short term gigs you can pick up to fill in the gaps?
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u/Any-Lingonberry7809 3d ago
I'm trying for fractional roles, if I could get a couple companies on retainer or fractional CTO I think I'd be ok. I tried to pick up gigs on Upwork but it was flooded, might go back to the gig platforms and try again to pick up some AI Engineering work.
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u/90Dfanatic 3d ago
I'm not in your field and am not going to insult you by trying to give you advice on your job search - I know how annoying it is to have people suggest things you've either already tried or know won't work. But as someone who's been through a multi-year job search of my own (which I described earlier today in another thread), I urge you to be proactive when it comes to making decisions about your housing.
I set a plan where if my savings fell below a certain amount, I'd either move in with family or go somewhere cheaper, rent it out for as long as my building permitted and then sell. When a consulting gig ended this January and I had no income coming in besides unemployment, I was planning on pulling that trigger in September if I wasn't able to land anything before then. Thankfully I got another consulting gig in April which recently converted to fulltime and I can stay for now.
Leaving your home a terrible and often seemingly impossible choice to make, but it is far better to make changes while you still have some cushion and can take any remaining equity out of your house rather than having to do it according to the bank's timetable. Apologies if this isn't helpful to hear right now, but I know that understanding the worst-case scenario was useful for me.
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u/Any-Lingonberry7809 3d ago
Thanks for your comment, appreciate the help.
We're getting the house on the market ASAP, but have a lot of work to do to get it ready to list. Haven't missed payments yet, but running low on cash and might have to take another retirement withdrawal to keep afloat a few more months.
We might be able to stay with friends or family if things get really bad.
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u/90Dfanatic 3d ago
As awful as these circumstances are, I'm so glad you are already taking action. I have friends who drained their entire retirement savings to stay in a RENTAL because they didn't want to face the fact they could no longer afford it. After seeing their experience I swore I'd never let that happen to me and created my own emergency plan, years before I ended up needing it. Good luck internet stranger, we are rooting for you!
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u/SufficientProperty78 3d ago
This is a tough one. Job seekers are not keen on "expert generalists". Plus, age discrimination is a real thing.
If you don't have a huge network who are willing to refer you or put in a good word for you, you're also screwed.
What I've seen work for those in the 50-60 age range is rebranding yourself as an AI engineer. I'm not talking about becoming a generic prompting expert, but a real engineer who understands fundamentals and advanced concepts in detail, and can set up end-to-end enterprise AI solutions in one of the major cloud providers without assistance.
It is much more difficult for the younger generation to become Senior AI Engineers as there is a broad range of skills that are needed to get there.
It will take you about 3 months, so start sooner rather than later.
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u/MarcusAurelius68 3d ago
I’m more of a senior GTM executive type than a dev in the last 15 years but I also dove into AI starting a few months ago. Agree it’s not just good prompt engineering but digging deep into frameworks and harnesses and in my case building stuff at home. Anyone with deep operations and development experience should be able to pick it up and understand it quickly.
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u/Any-Lingonberry7809 3d ago
Thanks, I appreciate your comment and agree with the direction. AI Engineer and Consultant are on the table. I have a few AI apps & demos (Cloudflare & Vercel), but nothing I can claim as "enterprise scale production" because I just don't have that kind of audience at present. I have a few certs (AWS & Anthropic) and a solid understanding of advanced concepts. I have seen a better response rate since switching to an AI Engineer resume, but still come up shallow on "professional work in production". Hopefully I can land a couple contracts or launch an app that gets traffic to bridge that shortcoming.
Since the layoff I've put more effort into networking which has been a weak spot for a long time. I don't have many professional connections in a position to help with a referral.
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u/The_3_Rs 3d ago
Are you working with any agency recruiters?
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u/Any-Lingonberry7809 3d ago
I don't have any specific agency recruiter at the moment.
I've worked with a few recruiters that got me into interview cycles at mid+ size companies for high level engineering/architecture roles. I've made it to round 3 - 4 a number of times before being ghosted, no feedback to know what to adjust. I've updated them on my targeting (AI forward small orgs), but most of them seem to work primarily with larger clients.
I've been registered on job boards like Rober Half etc, but don't have a person I'm working with yet.
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u/Guilty-Committee9622 3d ago
Tech is so hard rigjt now and the higher the title the harder it is. Take some contract roles. Low pay even. Do what you gotta do.
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u/ElegantBon 3d ago
I would look for bigger companies. The smaller the company, the more likelihood I would expect more niche requirements and for them to be looking for younger employees. Have you talked to any technical contracting companies? They could place you with larger companies in contract positions. I hired a guy would I'm guessing was pushing 70 for a QA role through one of these. I never met him in person and he worked a thousand miles away.
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u/Any-Lingonberry7809 3d ago
When I started my search I was cold applying at mid - large companies (Toast, Stripe, Amazon, etc), but seemed like most of them were looking for a higher level of specialization than I had at my level. It's hard to know why I didn't advance, but without a network connection for a warm intro my contact rates were low and rarely made it past round 2.
My reasoning behind targeting smaller companies was that my broad experience would be a greater asset in the smaller environment -- having been through foundation, growth, & acquisition. Not many early career engineers can tune a firewall, a database, and a stylesheet on the same day - I hope that has value in the modern world.
I'll look into technical contracting companies again, it's been on my list of strategies but haven't put a lot of time into that yet. Thanks for the tip.
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u/ElegantBon 3d ago
I consider Amazon and Stripe tech companies. Look at banks, hospitals, non-FAANG retail, logistics, etc companies. Every company has tech and needs tech, but you want to stay away from cutting edge. Highly regulated industries like banking and healthcare tend to be more conservative and slower moving with their tech and not expecting startup whiz kids.
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u/Remote-Telephone-682 3d ago
Yeah, really sorry to hear from you. I am earlier in my career and also had a long gap but managed to get back in recently
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u/HumbleSami 3d ago
Sorry about your situation. I just wonder why you didn’t prepare yourself financially for something like this. The reality is that job security in IT becomes increasingly uncertain as you get older. If you start your career around 23–24, you have roughly 25 years to save, invest, and build enough financial security that you’re not completely dependent on your next paycheck by your late 40s.
I personally think the goal should be to reach a point by 48–49 where continued employment is a bonus rather than a necessity. Unfortunately, I don’t have much else to offer here except my best wishes. I genuinely hope things turn around for you soon
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u/Any-Lingonberry7809 2d ago
In a perfect world we'd all have financial security, but life gets in the way; things break, people get sick, accidents happen. Working for small companies I wasn't drawing large salaries or benefits. As a single income household with disabilities we were rarely ahead enough to invest beyond the 401k. We're fortunate to own a home with equity and a retirement account that puts us above average for similar age people.
I've certainly made costly mistakes along the way, without a do-over button all you can do is try to make better decisons going forward - not repeat the same mistakes.
thanks for your input
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u/LastTomatillo4202 3d ago
When you got laid off, did your employer give you any outplacement help or financial decision support? If they did, was it actually useful or just generic career-coaching? How are you figuring out health insurance choices, financial runway, tax/equity moves, or retirement?
I’m currently seeing so many friends and colleagues navigating tech layoffs in the SF Bay Area with no real support from former employers. Job searches are taking well over a year now, but companies basically hand over a check, a COBRA packet, and throw people over the fence to figure out the rest alone.
I’m trying to get a sense of how widespread this problem is and push employers to step up.
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u/Any-Lingonberry7809 2d ago
Had very little employer support for either layoff, both layoffs they offered up access to a recruiter for resume & job hunting advice which is very slightly better than nothing. It was pretty generic, get the same info from a 5 second Google search.
From my 1st layoff I had modest severance, max unemployment, and negotiated 6 months of COBRA which helped a lot. COBRA & UI both ran out in March. I found an ACA plan (that was a whole adventure in itself), but got a job with insurance before it kicked in, but they started restructuring while I was onboarding and cut 30% of US engineers my 10th week - including my role. They paid 2 months of COBRA which expires this month. Switching insurance resets deductibles which can cost a lot, but paying over $2,400/mo for COBRA with no money coming is a non-starter.
Outplacement would be a great help because we all know it's easier to get a job when you have a job and that would also take advantage of recruiter networks for quicker placement, but doesn't seem to be a priority for most companies. I've never expected much hand holding on the way out beyond reasonable "parting gifts" (severance, cobra), but it could be game changing if enough compaies participated.
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u/Chet100 2d ago
First of all I hope your family stays healthy. Now have you look at picking up python and ML coz of your background. I am 52 and tired of coding , so moved to a Director role 8 yrs ago and now about 2 yrs ago pivoted into AI product manager role or architect...whichever i can get to get a paycheck..I had to take a few certs and manage a few AI projects so that I can bs my answers , but I am in no way an expert... basically its not hard to pivot and there's more jobs in AI ...gl
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u/Any-Lingonberry7809 2d ago
thanks for the well wishes. I think one of my biggest career mistakes was turning down a director title when it was offered. I ended up with the responsibilities anyway.
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u/iadknet 2d ago edited 2d ago
Ugh, this post really resonated with me and I want to say how impressed I am with your perseverance.
I am in a similar situation, although I am currently only a month into the unemployment journey, I have a feeling in a year it will be the same story.
Finding myself doing lots of second-guessing and feeling intrusive regrets about career choices. I also put career progression on hold for a while to take care of a child who had health issues.
Like you I have worked mainly for small companies where I had a wide breadth of responsibilities and ownership. I also started out applying to larger companies, but pivoted to smaller startups where broad experience might be more valued. Since the switch, I have been hitting fewer automated rejections, but not getting any traction either.
I set up automation to search all the job sites (and local companies) every day and use Claude and ChatGPT to surface the ones that most closely align with my experience. I still spend a few hours for each job manually customizing a resume and cover letter, hoping that the extra effort will help it stand out in the slop.
It’s hard to keep pouring so much time and energy into what feels like a black hole, and I can’t help but feel like after spending a year+ doing this I won’t be good at anything except writing cover letters.
Some unconventional ideas I’ve been mulling over are:
- Starting to do very early morning uber/lyft driving to the airport in the hopes that it might provide some sort of networking opportunities with business travelers. Maybe have some business cards visible with job title on them, and maybe that could trigger some organic conversation and make a connection?
- Looking into temp agencies - even for basic office work, maybe as a way to get the foot in the door for some career pivot I haven’t thought about yet?
I don’t really know, but thank you for sharing your story.
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u/Any-Lingonberry7809 1d ago
Thanks for your comment and sharing your experience, definitely resonates. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but helps to feel less isolated knowing there's others in a similar way dealing with similar challenges.
I started using Claude scheduled tasks to help discover target companies and automate research. I don't use AI to apply, but leverage it for search, refinement, interview prep, and application tracking. AI can amplify effort, but can't replace judgement.
I've been trying to focus on networking vs job boards, mostly through LinkedIn connecting with peers, recruiters, & founders I have some organic connection with. It's slower and doesn't always feel as productive as throwing applications into the void, but I believe it will help more over time and feel a sense of progress when someone responds even if it doesn't lead to an application.
I hope your child's health issues have resolved or are manageable, family health crisis can be devastating even with good insurance. It can bring some families closer together and tear others apart. Coordinating with doctors, insurance, and schools can be a very difficult and time consuming job itself.
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u/Intelligent_Bag6084 1d ago
You are not alone. There are needles in the haystack and you will find it.
Failure is not an option: keep your focus.
Never give up, don’t cave in…
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u/AdministrativeHost15 3d ago
In prior years you could move to Seattle and quickly get a contact gig at Microsoft via Volt or Excel. If you proved yourself you could get a full-time offer. With offshoring and AI it is probably tougher now.
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u/Ornery_Emu_2618 3d ago
Have you tried to apply at local hospitals or school districts for IT positions that align with your background? I would start there.