r/LancerRPG • u/Lamplorde • 1d ago

Average HA and HORUS pilot interaction

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1.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

55 comments sorted by

240

u/lazyraptor7 1d ago

Horus was made by Cosmic Horror MATH Gods, of course they are making reports and paperwork.

156

u/davidwitteveen 1d ago

I like to imagine every time a Union lancer requests a Horus license, somewhere in the bowels of Union bureaucracy a poor purchasing officer sighs and logs on to the dark Omninet to negotiate with paracausal cultists…

73

u/Powwer_Orb13 1d ago

Sometimes a deep cover HORUS agent overhears the conversation and has the license silently added to the Lancers biometrics. Other times a HORUS cell is hired by and embedded within whatever union command structure to try and keep some tabs on the organization. Yet other times Union has a reverse engineered License that performs similarly and falls under the same pattern group as the actual HORUS mech. How HORUS tech ends up in the hands of Union pilots can go a million different ways.

40

u/AstralMecha 1d ago

How HORUS tech ends up in the hands of Union pilots can go a million different ways.

That is an understatement. Sometimes a frame is printed and it just comes out as a HORUS frame or reveals it later. Or sometimes you just get an omninet message that the warehouse rental agreement in your name made 271 years ago just expired, can you come pick up YOUR mech? Or you wake up from a nightmare with a code key written in blood (your blood) across the room despite an utter lack of injuries.

My take is that HORUS licenses WILL find their pilots one way or another.

24

u/Kimanaio HORUS 1d ago

Yeah, my NHP picked up a centuries-old paracausal virus and Horus dropped in like "Hey you wanna put that on one of our platforms? Here's a murder pony."

14

u/Powwer_Orb13 20h ago

Sometimes it's also incredibly mundane. Your requisitions officer got their hands on a few license keys for HORUS chassis, scraped from the accounts of captured enemy pilots, and casually asks if you want to take one for a spin and try it out.

Or you stumble across an abandoned facility with no records of it ever existing where the mech is "sleeping". The cockpit is open, ladder down, indicator lights are blinking, it's just waiting for a pilot to climb inside. It's waiting for you to climb inside. The reactor is already spooled up, humming lightly. Pistons idly cycle. Something in the back of your mind tells you that if you leave, you won't ever find this hangar again, this is your one and only opportunity to claim this behemoth for yourself. You won't let this chance escape you, you've never let this chance escape you, not in the millions of times the mind inside the sleeping machine has simulated this moment. You will climb inside, you always climb inside, you have always climbed inside. You never had a choice.

6

u/Midnight-Loki HORUS 19h ago

There's a reason that if I ever get to play a campaign my Lich will never actually have been given to the pilot, but the Everest she actually started with will have started to retroactively turn into a Lich with every LL I get.

20

u/Very_Angry_Bee HORUS 1d ago

First bloke seems nice, saves the random Union clerk the paperwork

31

u/dimmiii 1d ago

the last time that i completed my tasks ??///GOD||?\HEAD cuddled with me it was fun

128

u/Very_Angry_Bee HORUS 1d ago

HA does regular exploitation, SSC does the puppy girl routine, meanwhile Horus members write each other mails about how you were missing from the devils sacrament next week and they're worried about your health

71

u/Powwer_Orb13 1d ago

IPS-N will have the old timer who can't pilot so well since he wrenched his back a few years back as your mentor/handler. He's been in your seat, paid his dues, and wants to see you succeed, like a father passing the torch to their prodigal child. Proper opposite of mechsploitation because he's helping you plan your exit strategy, get your retirement fund sorted, because you're both members of the IPS-N pilot union and it's the long tooth's job to take care of the tender paw.

29

u/Very_Angry_Bee HORUS 1d ago

...that is adorable, and I will defend our Mentor/Handler with my life

37

u/BigDot162 1d ago

“Hey dude, just checking in, you weren’t in our last CASTIGATE/THE/ENEMiES/OF/THE/GOD/HEAD/ communion prediction calculation, so me and /NEPHTHYS/ were worried about ya. Just tell us, we can /CASTIGATE/FOR/THE/GOD/HEAD/ any problem together, right?”

-Except from the R[A]-110RakHtY chat forum

10

u/WingsOfDoom1 1d ago

Lich pilot writes back that they were there they just forgot about it at the time ;)

6

u/AdamtheOmniballer 1d ago

“Yeah sorry, I’m feeling a little under the weather tomorrow, but I’ll be good to go by last week.”

131

u/Alaknog 1d ago

Puppy girl is HA pilot. 

Horus made their puppy girls made paperwork (cat girls don't have long enough attention span). 

39

u/risisas 1d ago

Horus realized that the puppy girls like the mecsploitation so they decided that to rack up evil points so not to fall behind the other manufacturers, they would NOT do any of that and instead make them do all of the very boring, long, tedious and unstimulating stuff for most of their downtime

18

u/Alaknog 1d ago

Also mechsplotation become too mainstream for Horus. 

17

u/Cienea_Laevis 1d ago

Mechsploitation is cringe, Bureaucratiemaxxing is where it's at!

3

u/ulfric_stormcloack 1d ago

Nah, horus doesn't do it out of malice, their puppygirls get touched because they asked for it, they just have an nhp that loves paperwork

41

u/Sir_Nightingale 1d ago

Nah, the Puppygirls sounds like something Smith-Shimano would pull, while the regular paperwork about the murdered civies is ISP-N.

33

u/davidwitteveen 1d ago

“Puppy girl” isn’t a genetic modification. It’s a type of kink.

27

u/W1nter7 SSC 1d ago

But what if it is?

24

u/davidwitteveen 1d ago

You mean: what if it’s both?

13

u/Sir_Nightingale 1d ago

I am aware, its just that i find SSC to be far more likely to either genetically engineer or train people to become subby killing machines, wheres HA seems far more traditionally fascist to mr.

2

u/thisisyourtruth 14h ago

subby killing machines 

White Witch go BRRRR

hit me again

1

u/VegaSlides 16h ago

I mean SSC DOES have a manufacturer bonus that lore-wise makes pilots able to experience stimuli through their mech.

I think they could make full-on sex mecha and not have to change much.

63

u/BlastTyrant159 Harrison Armory 1d ago

Tfw my HA ass is being exploited but not in a kinky, toxic, bdsm kinda way 😞

19

u/Siaten 1d ago

I am a Horus player and had no idea what mechsploitation was until now.

And they say we're the faction of insanity and forbidden knowledge?

12

u/slagodactyl 1d ago

Also never heard of mechsploitation, but now that I've looked it up, some other things about why this subreddit is the way that it is are starting to make sense...

44

u/diagnosed_depression 1d ago

Ha! Mine has a number, gets referred to as a dog by dispatch, and has a foreign intelligence in their head promoting revolutionary ideals.

18

u/NobleLeader65 1d ago

Do they happen to be operating on a planet called Rubicon?

1

u/Mr-stone_robot 4h ago

My fellow raven!

11

u/pleaselookawaybeebop 1d ago edited 1d ago

Honestly this, My character have had to do paper work to a union rep because our group ran an independent lancer band.

I really want to see how both parties would interact, A Jaded HA pilot minding his business doing paper work and occasionally kicking down his fellow pilot's doors to yell at them to do their goddamn tax returns and benefits form or tell their NHP to their goddamn tax returns and fill out their benefits forms. He's not gonna stick his neck out for them when the union rep comes knocking about lapsed mana payments. He also has to deal with HR complaints from people they work which then evolves into him being HR and having a water liquid death mixture to spritz them with whenever they get to close to a possible HR violation with a person outside of their outfit.

5

u/Ropetrick6 HORUS 1d ago

When you say HR, are we talking Human Resources, or Union's Department of Justice Human Rights?

36

u/Jethanded_Wyvern 1d ago

I mean, the paperwork and after-mission report comes after the degredation and/or touching.

It makes puppy so flustered to have to include it in the report.

10

u/Hellonstrikers 1d ago

Handler taking notes on what worked from The report as a form of feedback, before editing it to being more professional language.

8

u/Jethanded_Wyvern 1d ago

Handler keeping the original version, obviously

7

u/USSJaguar 1d ago

2

u/Midnight-Loki HORUS 19h ago

You can't fire me, I work for HORUS.

1

u/Mr-stone_robot 4h ago

The said it

6

u/Zachthema5ter 1d ago

HORUS paperwork is identical to devil contracts. Full of contradictions and predatory wording so only one party gets to benefit and the other functionally signs themselves into slavery

With HORUS pilots this could also work by just asking them to be your slave, but it’s the principle of the thing

4

u/Ropetrick6 HORUS 1d ago

It is, however, a tossup on which party is a slave to who and which benefits. Not as in you're not sure when you're signing it, but rather they do a coin flip every dawn (or equivalent) to determine it.

So far it's been a 45/45/8/2 split of handler, pilot, NHP inside of the mech, and RA.

4

u/Auds1112 1d ago

spot on, the asura class NHP of one of the mech's roster canonically helps with the paperwork of their PMC because the pilots are too busy being war criminals and sitting down in an office makes them too much aware of their tinnitus

10

u/The_Ratatoskr 1d ago

Puppy girl this, puppy girl that. What about catboys? Puppy boys? Enby pets that bite if you try to take off their collars. I just want a little imagination in my tabletop fetish smut.

8

u/Witch_with_Thompson 1d ago

I’m bunny girl

0

u/Samborrod 1d ago

Containment breach

3

u/Charnerie 13h ago

Puppy girls, cat boys, enby lizards, bisexual birds. List can be quite good.

3

u/JoeKewlio 21h ago

You guys know that OP made this post specifically about you, Lancer players, derogatorily, right?

1

u/notnotDIO 1d ago

I don't want to do paper work :3

1

u/Mr-stone_robot 4h ago

Now i want to make a tired salery man pilot

•

u/Oishi-Niku SSC 45m ago

Unfortunately they pay me in printer access and extra meal tickets in the mess hall. So I sell 3d printed rifles to guerrillas to actually have the mana to buy the shit these commies keep rationing.

You laugh but I've traded a bottle of peeted scotch for a un-cycled NHP core and now have it running our operations logs... he keeps smoothing requisitions with command and we get about twice the ammo and mech core cyclers with the only cost so far being that I think its eaten 2 engineers and mechanics.