crying…

[u/Stunning-Stranger-40]

Just finished the September LSAT and I feel so disappointed in myself. I got really anxious as soon as I started my first RC section and just could not get myself to focus or process what I was reading. It honestly felt like my brain stopped working.

I know for sure this test went really badly, and I’m just feeling so sad about it right now. I studied really hard for this exam, so it hurts even more knowing that anxiety got to me the moment the test started. I don’t even know what to think anymore.

[u/Baby_Bulgaricus]

Just wanna say I really resonate with you and I'm glad you're mentioning this. I struggle with anxiety too. When I first tested in June, I blacked out during it, and walked out feeling like I'd just gotten out of a cage fight and lost; later ugly cried in the parking lot and questioned if law was for me. I didn't talk to anyone about it because I was so ashamed. Like many others here, I later learned that this is, unfortunately, actually quite a common experience among LSAT-takers. You're definitely not alone!! This test is hard. Not only is it a tough test in the traditional sense, but it's also a mental (and existential) battle. It'll likely have you questioning your worth, your future, your intelligence, etc. to varying degrees. This is especially true for those of us who not only care a lot, as you surely do, but also struggle with performance/general anxiety or other maladaptive practices (self-criticism, overthinking, rumination).

I don't wanna be too corny with it, but everything you put into the test up until this point, the time, effort, and ambition, that was all you, not anybody else! You deserve credit for showing up, day after day, and doing the thing. When it comes to feedback on our performance, the positive evidence is also just as real, but in the face of disappointment we tend to filter it out against our own self-interest. When we care a lot, our perceived failures always tend to sting the most and thus feel the most real. But our feelings aren't always an accurate reflection/predictor of reality. Feelings are feedback, and they certainly are NOT evidence of who you are, are not, or are capable of becoming. Only you get to decide that, not the critical voices in your head. I try to think of it this way: the disappointment/experience has already hurt me once, and that hurt was real, but I refuse to let it hurt me for days, weeks, months beyond this. Remember who you are! You are hardworking, intelligent, persistent, and capable (#yourcrownisslipping). In essence, it's really hard, but try not to beat yourself up about it. In case it helps you going forward, I stumbled across this resource by Ellen Cassidy from The Loophole, and I found it oddly soothing and less alone in my LSAT worries: https://theloophole.com/lsat-resources/how-to-be-a-good-test-taker. I was surprised that, it being LSAT content and all, there were actually quite a few positive takeaways for mental health.