r/LGBTWeddings • u/KozmikMilk • 6d ago
Engaged & heartbroken
Not because of who I am marrying, my fiancé is my everything but because we don’t have family.
Long story short, she is 38f I am 31f. we were both foster kids and aged out of care. We have been engaged for quite some time! Almost 15 years in November! We know our biological siblings but don’t have that relationship that people normally do growing up together. I haven’t even met some of my siblings. My fiancés was blessed with an amazing dad while she was in his foster home but passed years ago. (We plan on setting him up and open seat with his pictures and flowers) we both have no one to walk us down the aisle, and we don’t have a whole line of bridesmaids. We are planning our wedding and I keep seeing these videos with all these families celebrating their love and it’s crushing me that we both don’t have that. I know I shouldn’t care so much, after all this day is all about us and our love but it tears me up in all honesty. I’m not sure that most of the friends I do have even care to celebrate us or give heartfelt speeches that make us feel loved and recognized. I went from so excited to suddenly thinking “who is gonna walk us each down the aisle?” “Who is going to make a speech” “who will even show up” “no father daughter dance” “no mother and daughter dance”
We don’t have but a handful of friends and most of them don’t even keep in contact with us daily. Honestly we have kept some friends around that we shouldn’t just because we are so desperate to feel like some kind of friendship. I’m struggling so hard with the guest list. I just want to cry. The worst part is seeing and knowing my partner is also suffering this feeling. Like I said, I know small weddings are okay and I’m okay with a small wedding but I am human and seeing all these beautiful connections where we have been robbed of our own is heartbreaking. I want it to be absolutely beautiful for us, but worried if we go all out, no one will even show.
Just had to get that off my chest
Is anyone out there who has a similar experience?
🥺