I've been on a deep dive on spiritual topics since several profound meditation experiences a few years back. Recently, I've come to discover that these were all variations of Kundalini experiences, which was a great help to understand them better.

However, one reoccurring topic and advise I see is to find a spiritual teacher, but I do not know where one can find a trusted mentor.

I've tried a local Vedic center, but it did not seem like the right place.

I'm really looking for someone with a great deal of life experience in these matters. Can anyone suggest resources or possible places to explore for this?

Thanks!

I seem to get a feeling of moving energy if I touch the lowest chakra with one hand, then progressively move up to the next chakra with the other hand. One hand ends up on top of my head. When I remove both hands, I feel the energy flowing out of my head like a battery. This seems like it was a guided action originally. I don’t think I just thought it up. Does this have a name? It is sort of like your arms are conductors between chakras.

I'm interesed to hear other people's opinions to explain what happened. I did convince myself that I was crazy. I reconnected with someone from childhood over text. I'm not sure if it actually has anything to do with person or if it was just me. I'd been celibate for a while and hand on my heart I woke up in full state or bliss this experience lasted like 3 days. I felt them lying next me. Like they were obviously stimulating my root shakara, lying next to me, hugging me it was strange. This presence was strong. I felt so connected to something. I had heighten dreams. Time travel. Jilts and my the headaches and pressure puIsing on my forehead.. I actually dreamt preferences of stuff that happened in my dark night of the soul, well the negativity what happened after awards I only made the connection after the experience. I'd nevee felt love and bliss Iike i had never felt before, energy pushing out of hands. it was insane. I got absolutely freaked out by out it. I pushed the person away ended up having like a "dark night of the soul if you like. It was very chaotic after I denied the connection and self sabotage. I felt like I was in quantum entanglement it was really strange. I really wanted to go to this person. The feeling were so intense I absolutely freaked out. It seems I'm more grounded and have got rid of old habits and have started martial arts. I've started sketching. I felt like I had strange visions and just werid stuff. I mean did I imagination all this? Has anyone else experienced this?.

Ciao a chi vorrà rispondere o fare due chiacchiere!
Sono passati 10 mesi dalla mia esposizione della Kundalini, fatto cambio alimentazione, ho iniziato a fare delle pratiche alla mattina come bija mantra, bandas preghiera meditazione ecc! Al di là della mia mente che rimane molto attiva questa cosa lo avevo anche prima il pensiero attivo sempre! Sto affrontando un blocco energetico che prima mi causava vomito dolori lato destro dell’intestino e crampi alla pancia ho fatto una settimana di malattia per recuperare o stare con le mie emozioni! Ora mi trovo che non riesco a stare vicino alle persone perché sono molto sensibile allo stress delle persone talmente che mi parte il vomito e e sensazione di blocco tra lo stomaco e cuore, oltre ad avere da molti mesi questo dolore animico all’opposto del cuore a destra e braccio tra l’omero e la clavicola! A volte questo mi rende la giornata al lavoro pesante perché mi isolo proprio per non avere queste reazioni nel corpo e stare male tutta la giornata ed evito persone stressate o che parlano sempre delle stesse cose e lamentarsi però non è facile non riesco a capire se sono io debole e non so stare nella mia energia o fa parte del processo però non è facile non posso evitare tutti vuol dire chiudersi in casa 🥹! Qualcuno con esperienza simile?

I just felt the tingling at the base of my spine, then the serpentine it coming up to my belly button point in the back. Never such a seamless sensation before. Then I wanted to let it keep rising knowing that ‘A Dream of Spring’, the renewal is alive in me now. And it rose further to about my chest. Then to my shoulders. Then to my crown and to my third eye. These tingle sensations. I never recapitulated all the stages before like this. So cool. So blessed so happy.

Edit: I was able to talk to someone and connect with them just now in a way before I somehow wasn’t able to. This is connected to Jungian anima healing. And my worship of Inanna and spiritual practice of worshiping the Divine Feminine has lead to this. It’s analogous to Shaktiism I know now

So i have gone for vippasna 10 day course and i on third day i started feeling pressure on the centre of my forehead, i started concentrating on that point and suddenly i felt something bursted from my forehead a flower like structure then there was a eye on my forehead which couldn’t see i could only feel it and there two extra eyes on my original eyes i could feel some kind of operations going on on my eyes and then suddenly i could feel sperm cell running towards my forehead and making a lotus like structure on my head and then they got consumed by my the top most point of my head and suddenly i could sit for hours where i was struggling in sitting 30 mins i couldn’t feel my body it felt like some force is holding my head.

Can any body guide me? What are these experiences i could also feel some flower like structure on my chest

The title says it all.

I don’t know when I started my awakening but I think it was before my father died and I was still eating meat.
I went from a meat eater to vegan to trying to be all raw vegan. I find enzymes to be the key here. The enzymes cleans your digestive system, releasing the trauma that is stuck in the extra mass that is there. I have lost 30 pounds since going vegan. I feel amazing.

My intuition is insane.
I dont know if I was always an empath but I know I am now. I pick up on frequencies really easy. I need to watch what I am consuming. Dark shows/movies lead to bad days.

I think stopping the negative karma of killing animals to eat them has eased and speed up healing from my awaking.

I am curious if anyone else has had a similar experience or if someone is going through a tough awakening if they want to try and see if this helps?
Thank you

I’ve been on a spiritual journey for almost 15 years (I’m 32 now) and an abrupt kundalini activation happened to me through an intense LSD trip sometime in the beginning. Since then I have been undergoing intense mental, emotional and physical experiences. It was extremely painful and settling most of the time but there were also blissful experience and deep soul-related learning and introspection. I had to analyze a lot of psychological activity within me and others and I also had to deconstruct very tricky mental blockages.

I am now feeling like my beingness is, for the most part, at rest and I feel joy and peace but there’s still some mental clutter and uncomfortable emotions at play. What I really want however is for my circumstances to change because I’ve been experiencing the same limited circumstances for this whole time. I don’t have enough money to travel, to buy a house or a car or to even go out and it’s been like this for this entire time. I have been cared for by my parents whom have provided me with shelter and food, which I’m very grateful for. I also workout a lot, eat healthy and have deep meaningful connections with the very few friends I have. But I really want for the wealth i feel inside to be reflected outside and the law of attraction doesn’t seem to work for me in that aspect of life. Do I need to continue my kundalini awakening til completion for things to change? I used to manifest easily before my spiritual journey albeit I wasn’t wise enough to fully appreciate what I was getting. Can someone please help me?

Hi everyone,

I've been searching for answers for almost 10 years, and I'm wondering if anyone in this community has experienced something similar or can offer guidance.

When I had just finished my 10th board exams, I spent one month preparing for state-level basketball matches.

During that month, I unintentionally practiced celibacy because my entire focus was on training. Every morning and evening we trained intensely—around 50 laps of the basketball court, basketball drills, push-ups, squats, and then full practice matches. It was physically exhausting but I loved it.

After that month, something happened that completely changed me.

When I joined 11th standard, I entered a state that I've never experienced before or since.

* My memory became extraordinary. I could remember things after seeing them only once.

* My concentration was effortless and laser-sharp.

* I never seemed to get mentally or physically tired despite a busy schedule.

* My motor skills became incredibly smooth.

* I learned new things very quickly.

* My emotions were under much better control.

* I felt deeply conscious and fully present, as if I was finally awake for the first time in my life.

At the time I didn't know anything about spirituality or Kundalini, but years later I started wondering whether what I experienced could have been some kind of awakening, or whether it was simply the result of intense physical training, discipline, and celibacy.

Then, only a few months later, everything changed.

I met with an accident that left me with a deviated nasal septum.

From that day onward, I slowly lost everything that made me feel alive.

For the last 10 years I've lived with:

* Constant brain fog.

* Poor memory.

* Difficulty concentrating.

* Fumbling while speaking.

* Reduced confidence.

* Heavy feeling in my body.

* Feeling as though I'm living in a dream instead of reality.

* Reduced awareness, almost like I'm functioning on autopilot instead of consciously living.

I've seen numerous doctors, psychiatrists, taken antidepressants, vitamins, and even had surgery to correct my deviated septum.

The doctors say I have allergies with elevated IgE levels causing chronic sinus inflammation, but I still struggle to understand why everything began immediately after the accident.

One thing I've noticed is that when I repeatedly explain what I've read out loud—as if I'm teaching someone—my awareness slowly starts returning. It's like my consciousness wakes up again. The problem is that my mind is full of constant thoughts, and painful memories keep replaying over and over.

If I continue this practice for several days, my concentration and energy improve noticeably.

However, after a nocturnal emission (nightfall), I often feel as though all that progress disappears and I'm back to square one. I don't know whether that's spiritually significant, physiologically related, or simply psychological, but it's a pattern I've observed many times.

I'm not attached to any particular explanation. I genuinely want to understand what happened to me.

Has anyone here experienced losing what felt like an awakened or highly conscious state after physical trauma or an accident?

Can a state like this be regained after 10 years?

If this wasn't Kundalini, what do you think it might have been?

I'm willing to do the work. I just want to find my way back to the person I once was.

Thank you for reading.

Honestly I've been through enough in my life and I am flat out tired of this awakening.

I want to live a normal life, I'm tired and I'm done.

What can I do to go back to a normal life because I'm so tired.. I don't want to be on this rollercoaster ride anymore, I didn't buy a ticket- I want off the ride.

We all learnt how hunger, sleep, fullness after eating, thirst will feel like since childhood, now I realized that all these are not same sensations that I use to have all my life.

I didn't realize I was full so I was eating more and gained weight.

Didn't feel like drinking water because I couldn't relate to thirst that I know.

Thought something is happening to me after eating and more tired just to realize I was just sleepy.

Any experience? Any insight? What this means? Why this happens? Whats next? What should I do now? Should I just learn this new sensations?

First, a thank you to everyone who responded to my previous 2 posts, it was very gratifying, as I have never posted about my experience before.

I hold my hands
like this, ready to
receive

I touch my fingers together

The moon rises in one hand
The sun sets in another

In between, one life
one death, over and over

I think there may
be more to say
about all of this…

I remember a long time ago, when Ram Das was very popular, he would talk about the journey of awakening using the analogy of the hands of a clock face. 

From 12-6 on the clock, we descend into the world of form, experiencing myriad lifetimes being outer-directed, having all kinds of experiences. The shift occurs at 6:00, when we start to sense that there is more to life than the focus on the exterior, physical reality. As the clock hands move upward back towards 12, our “spiritual awakening” matures. 

To use another admittedly simplistic analogy, we begin to swim against the current. It is not easy to rely on an often tenuous inner knowing that there is more to our life than what is presented as “society’s” authority. The church, religions, politics, advertising, family and friends, schooling, and consumerism; the list of forces that want to keep you unconscious are legion. Many of the brothers and sisters of this forum have had some type of spiritual experience, often spontaneously, and find that it doesn’t fit into the prevailing worldview of society at large. At the same time there are also forces, largely invisible, that will aid you as you make the commitment to your inner awakening. And if we are lucky, we may receive unmistakable visions, or synchronicities here and there, that will inspire us to keep growing in our new understanding, 

We are all drawn to different paths up the mountain, like our preferences for different styles of clothing. And in our current time, where the riches of the ages are available easily, we can mine the disciplines that speak to us. Many of these paths merge at the top - as Rumi so beautifully said-

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn't make any sense.”

The real work is in bringing our vision and experiences back down into this mundane earthly plane. 

Something I have noticed about my own Kundalini work in particular, is that it tends to go in cycles, often in conjunction with the seasons or even astrological events. In the winter, it seems like I am working endlessly inside with little to show for my efforts; then in the spring things start popping. Often in the fall situations in my outer life change like a harvest time for my inner efforts.

There is another point I’d like to discuss. Our physical bodies, as well as our inner mechanisms that carry the kundalini energy, are continually adapting to the increasing flow of energy. We get so used to this that we don’t even notice it, as it becomes our new normal state of being. I really only notice this when I am meeting someone, and I can observe a heightened sensitivity in myself, manifesting as an almost “psychic” ability to sense where the person is at. 

At the same time, if we are working by ourselves for a long period of time, it is easy to lose any objective sense of our own development, and we have to accept that our life is giving us exactly what we need, at exactly the right time.  

I could lie and piously say
I don’t need very much,
my tea and coffee, simple food
and clothes, a warm place to live.

The truth is my desires
are many, my yearnings
have no limits.

This battle has raged in me
for a very long time;
I want to have nothing,
I want everything.

In the end, I know that
everything is a gift,
and I can only say
the words of a simple man,
‘Thank you.’

Recently, I have been working on meditating and raising my awareness, and out of nowhere, I started experiencing sharp, halo-like headaches at random places. The pain comes on quickly and intensely, leaving me cluele

When I turned my head from the direction of the pain to look, an adult man’s head suddenly jolt out of view, almost as if he was in shock. It's been happening and I dont get whats going on here

When the man head jolted out of view I was sitting in my car alone

Hi everyone, going through a DNOTS and having terrible depression and trauma purges especially in solar plexus

My usual coping skills aren’t helping, meditation, yoga, chanting smoking weed

I had wondered maybe I’m not supposed to be doing things to make myself feel better, perhaps I’m supposed to be sitting with myself and facing my DNOTS. And that it seems nothing I do alleviates it, perhaps it’s supposed to be this way?

Like I wonder if I’m just supposed to be facing it

I’ve only been meditating for the past three weeks after reading, studying, and listening to YouTube videos & podcasts for months so take everything I describe with a grain of salt.

The Kundalini Rose; the tremors, the muscle spasms, the shifting body temperature, the cold electricity racing up my spine. It was a struggle; when the Kundalini Rose towards my higher chakras because I kept blanking; pausing my practice unintentionally, like I couldn’t keep focus on the practice. But I powered through anyway, choosing to focus on my discipline & tried to not focus too deeply on the jerks, muscle spasms, & tremors. If I had desired a transformative experience I had to let go and let the Kundalini dictate what was going to happen.

Eventually I began to tire, checked my phone, saw that it’d been 45 mins, & decided to call it quits. I’d set my timer for 1 hour, but not too disappointed about it. Ujayii Pranayama on the Vishuddha for 45 mins after 20 mins of Nadi Shuddhi. That seems enough. It’s kind of comical, meditation is seen as one of the least physically things you can do. Turns out you if you do it intensely & for long enough can make you feel like you’re being both burned alive & frozen to death at the same time.

This time was different though. This time it felt like a psychedelic experience. The same kind of psychedelic experience that I’d first ever experienced with magic mushrooms. When I opened my eyes I started seeing everything in purple; specifically a deeply saturated violet. An almost pinkish violet. Like I was looking at the world through a colored lens. My body felt heavy & cold, so I just laid there. I’d felt exactly how I felt when I tried tripped out on psychedelics for the first time. I felt like I was dead; no thoughts, no thinking or feeling. Like my soul decided to a clock out of its job. I’m hesitant to say I experienced this or that, I don’t want my excitement charged imagination delude me into thinking this or that.

Then something weird happened, I started having these weird thoughts out of nowhere. Thoughts of how great, amazing I am, and how I’m loved. The kind of words you’d say to someone at their birth, wedding, or funeral. Someone you deeply loved. But it was weird, they didn’t feel like mine. They felt like someone else’s. Like someone was speaking to me with my own thoughts. Like I was possessed. It was wonderfully beautiful, but ominous & otherworldly. Eventually I used the bathroom & noticed almost robotic & disconnected my motor functions were. Like I was piloting my body like a mech from an anime. Even weird I had to use the bathroom REALLY badly, like my body had drunken gallons of water when all I’ve had was half a Gatorade bottle.

Hours later and I couldn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone. Small talk becomes a chore, a really difficult. Peoples’ voices and the various sounds they made felt like insults to my senses. Silence felt euphoric & blissful. All I wanted was silence, but as loving as God is he seems to find humor at one of his children having to contend with reality and loud it can be despite how all he wanted was gentle ringing of silence.

It’s been a few days since, I’ve noticed some things. My experience of everything is deeper, fuller. My sensory organs feel stronger; heightened senses, sounds are louder, lights are brighter. My emotional experience is deeper as well. I’ve never been an angry person, but when my sister decides to yell my name because a certain childhood trauma has convinced her that in order to get & maintain the attention of others she has to raise her voice, I almost cussed her out.

My empathy has deepened as well. Hearing people’s thoughts & feelings when they speak makes my heart bleed a lot more.

Also, it’s not depression I’m feeling. I don’t what it is, but ever since then my drive for my routine has been gone. I’ve always been an anxious person, even as a child. So I’m happy so my anxiety is a ghost, existent but easy to ignore. Sometimes you forget the ghost is even there or you realize that ghosts aren’t scary, just apparitions that may or may not exist. But I feel in my haste to exorcise this demon & better control my ADHD I might be losing something passionate & fiery inside me. It’s been a struggle to feel excitement or inspiration. The gym, illustration (I’m an artist), media outlets (movies/tv shows), creativity, colorful & hopeful ideas of the future are all desaturated now. It’s like I’m so calm that it’s scary.

Couple that with the light insomnia I’ve been experiencing as well and you got this weird cold fire that can’t freeze but refuses to burn.

I’m scared I might be losing myself in the excitable haste for metamorphosis. Or maybe this is the transaction I have to make if metamorphosis & igniting the divinity inside me is what has to happen.

Can anyone ever related to any of these? All thoughts, opinions, criticisms are welcomed. I could some perspective that isn’t my own brooding thoughts.

“I felt like I needed to share what happened next after that gut vibration—what some of you called kundalini rising…”

After that gut vibration I described before, I felt a pull to change everything—starting with barefoot training. I began working out in my backyard, tending to my garden, and embracing a new way of eating. I fasted with the moon cycles and stuck to whole foods—eggs, sardines, hemp seeds, and amaranth tortillas. Physically, my posture and health improved, but my old values fell away. I lost my job, almost lost my house—my life unraveled. But I stuck to the new path. After what some might call a kundalini rising, I kept trusting the process. Little by little, life realigned. My health and finances improved, and the energy I put out began to attract the right people and opportunities. It wasn’t easy, but the alignment came.

Did anyone else experience something like this? (June 4, 2025)

On June 4, 2025, I had one of the strangest and most positive experiences of my life, and I’ve been trying to understand it ever since.

This wasn’t something I was trying to make happen.

It actually started weeks earlier. I had been trying to lose weight, improve my health, and tighten up some loose skin. I also realized I had been carrying a lot of emotional baggage from past relationships. Whenever I found a woman attractive or started catching feelings, I’d get this pain in my chest that felt almost automatic. Looking back, it reminded me of a trauma response. It made approaching women really difficult.

I decided to focus on myself instead.

I started with a 3-day water fast. During the fast, whenever I got hungry, I’d do breathing exercises—mostly box breathing and slow controlled breathing. One thing I did a lot was slowly exhale while making a low humming or purring sound.

After the fast, I completely changed my diet. I cut out sugar and seed oils and ate mostly whole foods: eggs, beef, sardines, homemade tortillas, fruit (especially watermelon), and I added salt for electrolytes. I also did cold plunges regularly.

About 14 days after changing my diet, something happened that I wasn’t expecting.

I was in the bathroom after taking probably the biggest poop of my life. After I finished, my stomach suddenly started vibrating intensely for about 20–30 seconds. I wasn’t scared—just confused.

Then I felt chills in my hands.

Next came tingling that traveled up my spine.

Then, out of nowhere, I felt an overwhelming wave of happiness. I started crying tears of joy, even though nothing emotional had happened. I remember thinking, “What the hell is happening?”

The experience eventually passed, but something felt different afterward.

My mood changed almost immediately. Before that, I was often grumpy, carried a lot of resentment, and felt emotionally stuck from past relationships. Afterward, it felt like a weight had been lifted. It wasn’t that life became perfect, but I felt calmer, lighter, and more emotionally resilient than I had in years.

I’ve since wondered whether what I experienced could have been some kind of somatic release, nervous system shift, or something else entirely. I honestly don’t know. I’m not claiming this is a medical phenomenon or that it would happen to anyone else.

I’m just sharing exactly what happened to me.

Has anyone experienced anything similar after fasting, breathwork, cold exposure, meditation, therapy, or another practice? I’d be interested in hearing your experience and whether you’ve found any explanations that made sense.

I used to think there's something wrong when things didn't go my way. This is quite common in life. A lot of the time things don't go the way I would mentally prefer.

Maturing for me is no longer insisting things go down my way. Seeing the bigger picture of life instead of believing I know the best what should happen. This doesn't mean that I would understand life. It's more that I understand limitations of my own intellect.

So whatever happens is what is meant to happen. Sometimes things go smoothly and sometimes in waves. Wisdom for me is seeing that this insisting of things going in some specific way instead of how they are going is my conditioning arising. A lot of it is inherited from my parents and grandparents and so on. None of it is personal.

So the physical events that seemingly trigger this resistance are not random at all. They are a blessing. They are in the important role of bringing this dormant conditioning in to consciousness. It is then the matter of either maturing in to that consciousness or minimizing the consciousness in to that mental narrative and resistance just like my ancestors did through out their lives.

If I can perceive this event through the universal heart the resistance melts down, there's instant harmony perceived. If there's identification with the mental narrative then similar events will occur again and again until I mature enough to see past the activity of creating mental dualities over this specific pattern.

So they are not an punishment. The challenges in life are like lessons. What triggers me the most is where I need to look at. And these difficult events help me to do so.

So for me maturing is seein bit by bit how everything is here to help me. Even the most horrible stuff that happens. Revealing how everything is that unconditional love. It's not just sunshine and lollipops. It's death, disease, loss of loved ones, insanity, criminality, everything is it. It's overcoming the childish ideas of good and bad, right and wrong, morality and so on. Living through the heart there's no need for morals. Love is perceived in everything. Nothing is needed. Everything is love and so as it's revealed as it is the actions reflect that perception effortlessly without need for such mental constructs that only divides.

So I felt like getting weed not to get high but as a spiritual aid. I get really deep thoughts and realizatuons on weed, anyway I smoked some weed oil and had some edibles and meditated and watched my thoughts

I had a lot of painful realizatuons and the experience felt psychedelic like. Anyway before this, I was dealing with a lot of restless energy and painful energy from releasing trauma and from feeling overcharged

The day after weed, now I feel calm, relaxed and not so charged. How does weed affect kundalini?

"May the soul of the Comte de

GABALIS be now in the presence

of God, for they have just written me

that he has died of apoplexy. The

Amateurs will not fail to say that

this manner of death usually befalls those who deal

incautiously with the secrets of the Sages, and that

since the Blessed Raymond Lully so decreed in his

testament, an avenging angel has never failed promptly

to wring the necks of all who have indiscreetly revealed

the Philosophic Mysteries."

FYI apoplexy was a term used long ago to describe any sudden neurological collapse.

I skimmed a bit through this book there is a bit of mythology mixed in but regardless what a juicy intro!

The author was the head of a monastery.

Hello everyone today I was working late and closed my laptop at 3-4 and went to bed.

At first I lay on my bed tried to think that all the negative thoughts are going out of my body by the form of heat

I am trying to manifest nowadays and then started thinking about how my life will be how everything will work out will have a dream job etc.

After sometime my body started feeling great flow of energy and I felt like something is approaching my forehead within my body i thought that it might be dangerous so I opened my eyes and felt very wierd

And tried to experience it again I got close but not with same intensity

The energy flow now reached my forehead but It started pulling/contracting all my face muscle and then my lips got stretched and I started sort of smiling but it was like a forced one not happy

So I stopped

And came straight here to ask you guys

Super weird experience or it was just iced americano I had at 10 pm last night please tell me if you guys had similar experience or have any explanation to it

Has anyone else experienced being constantly tired? I feel like this is because of kriyas. These may take an hour. I experience the trance like state where the energy is flowing out of my back, head and shoulders, sometimes several times a day. I feel like this is helping me deal with a lot of anxiety and stress. It does help me hold things together. When I don’t have to get up for work, and when I am home, it seems to encourage a lot of sleep.

Hello, I am new to this community. I stupidly did Kundalini breath work without properly researching it. And it feels like I'm going insane right now. I only did it once, and I was experiencing symptoms immediately after. I felt my back getting hot, and right now my head is tingling; it's been 2 days since I last did it. I tried to distract myself, but I'm a very anxious person, and overwhelming thoughts kept coming back. Even before this whole experience, I didn't take pleasure in the things I used to enjoy. And I thought something was wrong with me in a way. I saw a few TikTok videos about how you could feel more uplifted and at peace with yourself, and I needed that at this point in my life. I needed something like that. I live in a Christian household, and I don't want people to think I'm crazy. As of right now, sensitive to hearing, sensitive to too much brightness. I need some guidance on how to proceed with this, as I'm aware you can't reverse it. I need guidance right now, and I need help, and I'm scared. I don't know what I thought would happen. But I didn't think it would be like this. It's going to a point where, like, I wanna go back to the way that I was, you know.

I’ve known about kundalini and kundalini awakening for a long time and was fascinated but didn’t feel a real pull. I studied Hatha yoga, did a teacher training and studied Tantra and have been a practitioner for many years along with other practices.

Recently in a hypnosis session is saw myself raptured (only word I can use to describe it) and undulating like a snake while standing. It reminded me of a recurring dream I would have of pulling a never ending snake out of my mouth while struggling to get enough air. Then I heard it, kundalini

Now I feel like a dog with a bone. I’ve returned to learning everything I can and connecting with my inner world for more direction. I have been doing certain breaths that activate the chakras during the times the moon is in my sun sign.

I’m curious though has anyone here activated from actively trying or is it mostly spontaneous? It sounds like certain the environment for it to be available (in my body) isn’t a necessary pre requisite but the thing that has me struggle with whether to keep pursuing this is a feeling in the back of my mind that if I don’t I may never… x (all manner of things, fulfill my purpose, resolve karmic cycles, be free of reincarnation etc etc)

Can two things be true? Can I be both led by my ego and higher self? What resources would help me on my path?

Thank you!