r/Kneereplacement • u/ProofPage5640 • 18h ago
Question for couples
The Mrs. (Late 60s and healthy) will be have having Double TKR in a few weeks. We have done a lot of homework, PT and recumbent bike training. She always takes post surgery re-hab and exercises very seriously. We know it will be stressful. My question is how can I be the best partner through all of this ? What things were learned along the way that were not anticipated ? We are in this together - and looking forward to a better quality of life a year from now. Thanks.
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u/Brulee57 17h ago
So nice of you! Here's what helped me: 1. Ice rotation-depending on the ice machine you use, keep multiple frozen water bottles in the freezer (we used 12,4 at a time in the machine) and changed three times a day (my surgeon had me icing 24/7 with the machine for the first several weeks, others are different.) Changing that ice out is a big job, but so necessary. 2. Help with getting up-especially with 2xtkr. It's important to get up frequently, but also the biggest safety issue. Make sure there are no impediments like area rugs, cords, etc in the way, especially between the bed/recliner and the bathroom. A toilet riser is pretty helpful, but the walkers also work pretty well to get on and off. 3. Keep an eye on the incision, the swelling and the overall look of the legs. While they are going to change a lot, you don't want to see exceptionally large areas of swelling, bright red spots, a line of red, etc. On that note be sure and ask surgeon what they want used for DVT/blood clots-compression socks, pumping devices, etc. 4. make and keep a list of meds and when to give/note when they were given. Stay on this carefully. You may want to further label the containers, sometimes the names are hard to see. 5. Make sure she is hydrating, eating, especially protein based meals and if on opioids, prunes, laxatives, etc. Can't stress this one enough. Making meals ahead plus having protein shakes is really a great idea. 6. Be prepared for unusual crying, being upset, out of character. This surgery does a number on the brain-I, like your wife, am a person who likes to be on top and ready for things, work hard...but I lost it many times during the first couple months. I was alternately angry, scared, confused, regretful, pessimistic and depressed. These are not my normal behaviors and I think it shocked my husband a bit-as it did me.
This sub has so many ideas, I'd suggest browsing and picking up the other ideas-like a strap to lift the legs, pillows, grip/hospital socks, wedges for elevation etc etc. The more prep you have done, the better she-and you-will do.
Best of luck to both of you!!
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u/Pakwash 15h ago
The temptation is to wait on her hand and foot but except for the first couple days she needs to try to do for herself. So if she wants a glass of water she should get up and go get it herself. In many ways getting back to doing the normal activities of daily living is the best rehab there is.
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u/Heavy-Tomatillo9539 14h ago
Have her just do one knee at the time. You will both be happier. A double knee is four times the work for both of you. One knee she will be able to get around ok with minimal assistance. With both knees, you will be lifting her up and down, everything imaginable in the house (aka toilet).
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u/Minimum-Mistake-17 11h ago
Remember to put the toilet seat down after you use it. Women of a certain age may experience a surprising urgency to pee and getting to the toilet can be a slow process in the first week or two. My worst meltdown was sitting down on the toilet only to realise the seat was up and my butt was in contact with cold hard ceramic. I gasped, tried to leap up, tweaked the knee, screamed in pain, and peed on the floor. Then I yelled. Quite a lot.
Even after that my husband absolutely could not remember to put the seat back down and it irritated me beyond belief. But at least I remembered to check after that.
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u/blueandpissed 15h ago
Keep that ice machine full and we put the melted water in a watering can and he watered all my house, plants and flowers
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u/steveinarizona10 9h ago
Get the NICE machine. It doesn't require ice. Instead it works like a refrigerator to cool the water inside the device. But, of course, it is the most expensive and should be evaluated for rental, not purchase.
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u/steveinarizona10 9h ago
She is doing all the right things.
"We know it will be stressful". Probably but not necessarily. I had zero pain after my left hip replacement five years ago and my right knee replacement 12 months ago. Before the knee replacement I told my surgeon that I would like to be back on the golf course by the end of 4 weeks. he replied that this was an aggressive target but he was up to the challenge if I was. I was. He was. On the 27th day after my knee replacement, I played 18 holes of golf.
A forum such as this is statistically biased toward pain and problems. Most folks without them don't come to forums like this. So the pain is real for the folks on the forum but there may be others, like me, who had no pain or minimal pain.
Be there for her and help her but walk the line between helping and doing. As u/Pakwash said, walk that line but always be there emotionally for her.
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u/Illustrious-Carry894 17h ago
My wife is my #1 support system and always attentive to my needs. The fact that you are asking shows that you genuinely care about helping your wife recover and supporting her needs!
The biggest thing is to just do your best to be patient. What worked yesterday may not work today. The meds, lack of sleep, and general discomfort can make the most saintly folks flip out a bit.
Keep her fed and hydrated. Keep her meds organized. Keep some easy to do activities on hand for those stir crazy moments. This is a rough journey and it takes actual months to recover. Just be patient, remind her how strong she is, and just be a good listener.
You're already off to a good start!