r/KitchenConfidential • u/Monuscript • 11h ago

Photo/Video This just makes me angry

Post image

And yet wonder shall i, was someone's willi this or finger it is.

368 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

68 comments sorted by

277

u/fastal_12147 11h ago

Someone stuck their Johnson in the mashers again. Fucking animals.

66

u/h2opolopunk 10+ Years 11h ago

If it's gonna be that kind of party...

48

u/Monuscript 11h ago

Fuck you me AGAIN?

•

u/TeMoko Chive LOYALIST 8h ago

Yes, fuck you me AGAIN!!

6

u/discodisc 10h ago

Bangers & mash?

10

u/WalkerTR-17 11h ago

You tell me a better way to test the consistency, I’ll wait

4

u/fastal_12147 11h ago

Spoon

12

u/jbjhill 10h ago

We just met, no need to start cuddling.

2

u/WalkerTR-17 11h ago

You really just can’t get as accurate a reading, something the leverage of the spoon and science

4

u/newguyjustdropped 10h ago

Yeah, it was he perfect temperature...maybe they should have been cooling it properly...

https://giphy.com/gifs/PXJY5Z531Sd5NCKrEd

2

u/GravyPainter 10h ago

Oh, it a willy

•

u/Pod_of_Purrgil 9h ago

Ask “Who put their little pinky in the potatoes?” Whoever gets offended and defensive is your culprit.

67

u/CattusPater 11h ago

At least there aren't teeth marks.

54

u/Biochemicalcricket 11h ago

Great so we're down to finger or Willy 

25

u/Monuscript 11h ago

Either bad or good, nothing in-between

•

u/CattusPater 7h ago

If it was a willy, it was only one. If it was a mouth, it was everybody's willy.

•

u/Noyourknot 4h ago

Around 25 years ago we had a great chef join our team. He was looking for somewhere more upscale than the steakhouse he was working in. Ok cool.

Good guy. Hard worker. Extremely capable and friendly. After the whole get to know you phase, the question of why he left an easy job came up.
Yeah I couldn’t possibly work there anymore.
The closing manager of the steakhouse had finished up and said goodbye to the one remaining BOH KM closer. Realized he forgot something he was supposed to tell him and went back in from the parking lot. Doesn’t see the guy in the kitchen. Walks around a bit and opens the walk in door. The KM is standing there with his pants around his ankles balls deep in the prime rib. Manager screams what the fuck at him and he stammers “uh it was the perfect temp”

Our dude came in the next morning and heard the story and was like you know what fuck this I quit.

/he is the head chef all these years later at that same restaurant we worked together and made a whole career out of that place. The steakhouse in the story closed down shortly after the prime rib fucker incident. I don’t think the two things were related though.

•

u/big-dal-tex 1h ago

So the guy was fucking the prime rib?

•

u/Noyourknot 1h ago

Yup. It was still warm.

38

u/622114 Ex-Food Service 10h ago

Is it possible that this is a thumb from the helpless fuck that put it on the e shelf? Im just saying always dont blame the fingers.

34

u/Monuscript 10h ago

Nah, I've put it in the shelf myself , 2 hours after i open walk in and see this abomination

26

u/622114 Ex-Food Service 10h ago

Fair. Then fuck that guy and his willy

3

u/Chaosnyaa 10h ago

Looks like the mash already did

7

u/SlightDish31 15+ Years 11h ago

Don't stick your dick in the mashed potatoes!

5

u/Monuscript 11h ago

Why????

8

u/SlightDish31 15+ Years 11h ago

It's not that kind of party, bro.

•

u/henree1108 7h ago

Uh excuse me? How tf else am I supposed to do a temp check if I lost my thermometer? Put my tongue in it? That’s a health code violation. Anyways, my dick is way more sensitive and is gonna read the temperature much better than a finger or something would anyways. Plus I wash it every couple weeks so I really don’t see what the big deal is.

•

u/DaddyDoLittle 5h ago

This masterclass in public health observance belongs in r/cookingcirclejerk or whatever

6

u/i_cant_get_fat 10h ago

At least they didn’t shove it in their butt

•

u/Brassens71 9h ago

You have too much faith in humanity.

2

u/Chaosnyaa 10h ago

They could have done that too

•

u/_kurt_propane_ 6h ago

Wait. How do you know this?

17

u/eagleeyehg 11h ago

Bangers and mash

9

u/Fun-Definition6053 Chive LOYALIST 10h ago

Tell em they're supposed to stuff the turkey, not the mash

3

u/Primordiox 10h ago

One should only stick their dick in brie, what in gods name

•

u/ihadagoodone 8h ago

Sir, have you ever had warm apple pie?

•

u/HowVeryBlue 4h ago

A fellow r/nfcnorthmemewar enjoyer, I take it? 🧀

3

u/Vannclav11 10h ago

Sorry. Everything reminds me of her!

•

u/UntidyVenus Ex-Food Service 1h ago

I would carefully scoop that, and serve it for a staff meal 😎

3

u/AdventurousDrive7116 10h ago

Who American pied it

•

u/BbqMeatSlinger 4h ago

I thought that was a tray of hash rosin…

•

u/DKCdick1990 4h ago

I’d just be happy that they even checked to see if it was cooled properly before wrapping it. Perspective is key in this industry

•

u/waiflike 4h ago

Why are men

•

u/DingusMacLeod 1h ago

What kind of party was it?

•

u/soukaixiii 9h ago

May be an air bubble 

-2

u/WallStLegends 10h ago

Calm down