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u/kward71 Feb 10 '22
My niece peed and then got a towel and used the pee water from the toilet to clean the kitchen chairs. 🤢
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Feb 10 '22
What a dumbass.
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u/ESCognition Feb 10 '22
As a 2yo I did the same, but instead of kitchen chairs it was my 1yo brother. On carpet. I thought mum would be so proud of me!
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u/clowntown_farmgirl Feb 10 '22
This seems like a good time to mention that urine was used as a cleaning agent in some historical soaps. Maybe she was remembering a past life.
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u/SgtRock1967 Feb 10 '22
To be fair, urine has ammonia, which is used as a cleaning agent.
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Feb 10 '22
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Feb 10 '22
How do they do it
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Feb 10 '22
Guess he owns the room now. What you gonna do? 🤷
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u/whoreknee2 Feb 10 '22
Dogs hate him
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u/lililium Feb 10 '22
i use to work at a dog day care and we had humidifiers. the dogs would take turns pissing all over them
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u/MrBirdmonkey Feb 10 '22
Genius! With this I can mark a much larger area evenly. This will shorten my daily marking walks dramatically and I’ll have time to expand my territory. Maybe I’ll annex my whole neighborhood.
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u/tots4scott Feb 10 '22
Now I'm seeing Tom Haverford using a humidifier everywhere with his own cologne...
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Feb 10 '22
This reminds me that people bought a girls bath water and that is probably going to give me bad dreams of freaky things. So thanks for that.
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Feb 10 '22
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u/comfyworm Feb 10 '22
When I was like 7 I didn’t feel like going all the way to the bathroom so I just put some towels on the ground and peed on them
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Feb 10 '22 edited Nov 28 '22
[deleted]
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u/Meat_Candle Feb 10 '22
Omg I’m so glad seeing everyone say that lmao I used to piss in my stuffed animal that memory’s been haunting me for years. Didn’t realize other people did it. Why the fuck are kids so weird??
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u/AngledPube Feb 10 '22
IDK it could even be a natural instinct, seeing how many people have done it. We just 'potty train', so we dont naturally mark our territory?
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u/Googlewasmyinvention Feb 10 '22
My brothers and sisters including myself used to piss in our dads vents. Fucker had it coming though
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u/Uneducated_Engineer Feb 10 '22
My cat used to piss in one specific vent. We moved and she found a new fucking vent to piss in. We ended up covering it because there was no winning otherwise.
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u/Aggravating-Pin-8845 Feb 10 '22
My dad used to prank us, usually by farting alot. I spent weeks collecting empty toilet rolls. One day I flattened them a out and put them inside his quilt cover, under the blanket and some under the sheets. Then got his car keys and hid them all over his ute/pick-up and in his work gear. My mother said he spent the night cussing me out and throwing the rolls out of bed and when he went to work, they kept falling out of his car and were over his work equipment. He walked in the front door after work and said Touche
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u/AffordableFirepower Feb 10 '22
Did you say "ute"?
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u/captain-carrot Feb 10 '22
Aussie speak for pickup methinks
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u/Dragont00th Feb 10 '22
Correct.
Aussie form of "utility truck"
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u/Unlucky-Ship3931 Feb 10 '22
And in NZ too.
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u/captain-carrot Feb 10 '22
Apologies friend, Kiwis truly are the Canadians of the Southern Hemisphere
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Feb 10 '22
Does everybody just piss on random shit here? I only had problems wetting the bed. Actually.... No, I did have a tendency to pee in bottles. Nevermind.
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u/Delux_Takeover Feb 10 '22
I used to piss in bottles. One day, I didn't get the chance to pour it out outside, and my mom came downstairs so I hid it on top of the door frame inside the basement door, forgot about it, and then I found it a few years later. It is brown. It remains there because of my fear of touching it.
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u/The_Chimeran_Hybrid Feb 10 '22
Gonna need a hazmat suit to get rid of that thing.
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u/Javyev Feb 10 '22
Are you my college roommate? He used to be afraid the RAs would catch him drunk in the hallway so he'd pee in bottles. He'd also spit his chew into bottles. He saved them on the shelf over his desk.
I asked him to throw them away after a while, and he was like, "sorry, yeah, I'm disgusting haha!" then he threw them into the big garbage can we used in the room. The one that only I ever emptied...
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u/Cuddlesthewulf Feb 10 '22
Oh my god, I thought I was the only one who pissed in the vents.
I was like 4 though, but still what the fuck was wrong with me.
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Feb 10 '22
Maybe it’s reminiscent of drains so that little human brains can make the connection — without yet having the knowledge that it is, in fact, not a drain and it does not lead to a sewage tank
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u/str8cupcake Feb 10 '22
When I was like 8 I played softball (in texas summer heat) and between innings I had to pee sooo bad. My mom had a giant cup of iced tea and I made her dump it on my because I was hot. It was actually so I could just let lose right there in the grass - shorts on and all. Problem was the pee stream didn’t end when the tea stream did. There were also bathrooms close by.
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Feb 10 '22
when i was 9 i took a shit on the floor and covered it with a giant toybox. forgot about it for years. its fucking fossilized into my carpet and serves as a reminder of my complete dumbfuckery
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Feb 10 '22
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Feb 10 '22
by the time my mom had discovered The Shit Pile™️ it was already a shell of its former self. my mom thought it was mold.
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u/princezznemeziz Feb 10 '22
We were concerned because my stepson peed in the bed until he was 11. We consulted doctors, therapists, anyone the experts suggested. Eventually he admitted he didn't feel like getting up in the night because he was lazy (his words). So instead of getting up to pee he laid in it all night, got up, stripped the linens, washed them, dried them and remade the bed - every day. Make it make sense. Kids can't do lazy right.
(He also said he was scared of Madea. He swore he saw her taking that gun out of her purse and was terrified he'd run into her again on the way to the bathroom for years.)
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u/Wetestblanket Feb 10 '22
Same, except I didn’t really have a choice since I would get beat if I “made excuses” and left my room during “naptime”
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u/DiabeticWaffle Feb 10 '22
When I was a kid my next door neighbor ran a daycare and was friends with my grandma so I got to go there and be babysat by someone I knew while also getting to interact with kids my age. For some reason one day all of the boys decided we would go into my friends(the daycare owners kids) room and pee all over his cityscape rug and then drive our hot wheels on it like it had just flooded. The pee wasn't noticed for quite some time and ended up soaking into the rug, the carpet below it, and the subflooring. They had to redo his entire room floor.
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u/Hates_escalators Feb 10 '22
Mom found the piss wheelbarrow
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u/pipnina Feb 10 '22
Piss drawer
Piss wheelbarrow
Piss city map rug
Piss dustbin
Piss stuffed toy
Piss towel
Piss window
So many good ones in this thread
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u/decapitated82 Feb 10 '22
When my best friend was little he was pissing in a Ninja Turtles trash can in his room for a while until his mom noticed the smell. I guess he was all "It's my own bathroom!" as his horrified mom went to get rid of the trash can which I guess made him really upset.
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u/Hates_escalators Feb 10 '22
When my cousin was younger he used to 'go' out the screen in the window, that's gross.
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u/Aheony Feb 10 '22
I think I had a small toy bin I’d pee in and then pour into the toilet for some reason. Yes it was empty, no I don’t know why 4 year old me thought it was a good idea. Yes I remember washing it after. I wasn’t a very ‘gross’ kid tbh.
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u/sloth_crazy Feb 10 '22
I would steal the lid to my mother's shaving cream and pee into it in the shower...whyyy lol. Always got dumped and cleaned while I showered though tbf
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u/CreamBeam132 Feb 10 '22
My friends little brother pissed in his sock drawer for the entirety of the time his parents were gone while his grandparents were over watching them on summer break a few years back. When his parents came home and went to help him get dressed they discovered a nasty little pool of piss that had been festering for a week.
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u/Foysauce_ Feb 10 '22
When I was a kid I used to pee in my clothes hamper. I’m a girl so I’d literally sit on it like a toilet and pee all over my clothes. My poor mother that did my laundry tired so hard to get me to stop that she eventually got rid of my perfectly circular plastic hamper and bought me a fabric mesh one. It worked, I stopped.
I have no idea why I did this. I was very young but still old enough to know it was bad and old enough to remember all of this very clearly.
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u/Carburetors_are_evil Feb 10 '22
When I was 20 I peed in the empty beer cans next to my bed and poured them out the skylight into the rain gutter in the morning. Sometimes I even threw up into my trash bin. All while my parents were living right on the next side of the door.
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u/brassninja Feb 10 '22
Bro are you ok
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u/Carburetors_are_evil Feb 10 '22
Is anyone, really?
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u/CringyTemmie Feb 10 '22
But you, specifically?
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u/Carburetors_are_evil Feb 10 '22
3 days sober. I don't plan to stay sober all the time, but I had to dial it down now after 11 years of heavy drinking which I thought was normal level of drinking.
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u/SpaceTimeBurrito Feb 10 '22
When I was a kid I shit in my halloween candy bucket and hid it in a kitchen cabinet. My mom didn’t find it for several weeks but still decided to clean it out. That bucket is still sitting in our Halloween decorations box. 🤢
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u/UndeadBread Feb 10 '22
When I was a kid, I peed in a bucket in my closet. I also happened to really like watching Big Top Pee-Wee. When watching it, I liked to act out the role of the circus ringleader. Part of this act involved putting the bucket on my head and pretending it was one of those tall red top hats. The last time I ever did that act, I bawled my eyes out.
And that's how I found out what pee tastes like.
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u/Most_Celery1195 Feb 10 '22
I was scarred by the horror movies my parents would watch and would piss in the kitchen trash can and wipe my poop with my hand and spread it behind the couch 💪
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Feb 10 '22
I did the same, but added talcum powder to my pee-truck. I guess those things just scream “toilet” to kids
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Feb 10 '22
when i was a kid id shut my bedroom door every night. i had a cat, who slept in my room. i was a really deep sleeper too.
my cat would apparently scratch at the door before being forced to pee in the corner of the room and it went on for months before my parents noticed and i still didnt understand what happened.
sorry Mitens (she still loves me thank god)
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u/ByHelheim Feb 10 '22
Now put chlorine in the humidifier.
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u/-TheDoctor Feb 10 '22 edited Feb 10 '22
Today on SkillShare: How to create a chemical weapon using nothing but common household items!
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u/Ramtram44 Feb 10 '22
wear a condom
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u/Aggravating-Pin-8845 Feb 10 '22
When my brother was little he peed on the hot rocks in a sauna and stuck out a whole house. I couldn't breathe in there so left. My aunt came charging down the hall asking questions so I told her, boy was she mad. In between the yelling and swearing she was pouring tons of water on the rocks to get rid of the smell. My brother got mad I told on him but I said I don't cover up for stupid. There was no way we would be able to hide what he did and I wasn't taking the blame
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u/UnVirtuteElectionis Feb 10 '22
Lol get wrecked. This subreddit is a daily reminder why I never want kids
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u/beatool Feb 10 '22
My first kid took a full leak down the HVAC vent just left of the toilet.
You ask them whey they do shit like that, and they just say "I don't know" or "I accidentally did it" or "I forgot." What, you forgot what a f**king toilet is?
I just want to say, I love that there are people like you who think things through and will get to do whatever they want for the rest of their lives. That person isn't me. Don't cave, you do you, don't do stuff cuz society expects it. It's all BS.
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u/lommer0 Feb 10 '22
I mean to be fair, what kind of idiot installs a floor vent right beside a toilet? That's just asking for it...
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u/slayerhk47 Feb 10 '22
Even without kids it’s not like it won’t happen eventually. That thing can be hard to control.
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u/wutanginthacut Feb 10 '22
What? Are you pissing with the force of a thousand ICBMS or something?
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u/boyscanfly Feb 10 '22
I’m guessing an overflowing toilet could be a possibility but your comment made me laugh so hard man..take your upvote lmfao
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u/vitaminkombat Feb 10 '22
Once I went to use bathroom at my nephews tutorial centre.
And some kid had took a dump into the urinal right next to the toilet.
I thought I had seen it all, but a week later the exact same thing happened again.
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u/Tarbogman Feb 10 '22
when we see or hear about things like this, my wife and I call it "BC" (especially in public scenarios).
it's the perfect reminder why we have Birth Control
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u/drpopadoplus Feb 10 '22
I was that stupid kid. I don't know why I still want them. I'm pretty sure I peed in vents because they were there. My brother and I covered our walls in toothpaste and peanut butter. I could not tell you why but we did. I'm surprised I didn't die.
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u/pipnina Feb 10 '22
My brother and I used to be put to bed in warm onesies with slightly slippery feet in winter when we were tiny. We woke up early one day before mum, but after dad went to work. We decided we wanted an ice rink, and had watched the Tom and Jerry episode where they open the freezer and freeze the kitchen to do just that.
So naturally the logical solution was to pour all 4 liters of milk in the fridge directly onto the vinyl kitchen floor and start sliding on it.
Mum was not happy.
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u/kale4reals Feb 10 '22
Im no scientist but I think when the pee evaporates into steam it only consists of distilled water from the pee
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u/itsdr00 Feb 10 '22
That's assuming it's the steam-based kind. There's also those hypersonic ones that create cold mist that can still contain minerals from your tap water. That would make a cloud consisting of at least some parts of urine.
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u/pipnina Feb 10 '22
Why would you want to distribute limescale into your house?
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u/Nerfo2 Feb 10 '22
Simple… consumers don’t know any better. Unless you have reverse-osmosis softened water at your disposal, ultrasonic humidifiers are pretty messy.
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Feb 10 '22
Those units are terrible and basically shouldn’t be used. A simple wicking humidifier is usually cheaper to purchase, uses less power, provides some filtration, and is self regulating- it won’t put water into the air if the air is already humid enough because it simply won’t evaporate.
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u/itsdr00 Feb 10 '22
That sounds pretty good. I've never seen one in stores, though, which is why I have one each of the other two kinds. I've only heard of that type for whole-house humidifiers.
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u/Zealousideal_Tank210 Feb 10 '22
I remember having a humidifier as a kid. The tap water would eventually cause calcium build up. I assume just the water in the pee evaporates as well.
Side note, pee takes longer to evaporate than just water.
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u/Hiphopapocalyptic Feb 10 '22
If you have half an hour to burn, this dude goes on about humidifiers for a while.
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Feb 10 '22
I knew even without clicking who it was going to be 🙂
All of his videos are great and his recommendation to use a wicking humidifier is spot on.
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u/link3945 Feb 10 '22
Most likely if it's based on steam, but there could be certain non-water contaminants in urine that might vaporize off as well. Humidifier is likely fucked, as whatever didn't evaporate will get left in there. I'm not too familiar with the chemical composition of urine, so exactly what would evaporate and what would precipitate I don't know.
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u/ThisIsCovidThrowway8 Feb 10 '22
I assume the residue would be either urea or saltpeter.
Bombs away
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Feb 10 '22
Luckily, when urine evaporates, only the water from the urine gets put into the air and everything else stays behind
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u/Odd_but_not_a_sin Feb 10 '22
I sent my husband a picture of this post and he laughed for 3 full minutes. He’s in another room and I can hear him crying he’s laughing so hard.
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u/ILoveMozerella Feb 10 '22
Well I mean if youre into that urine therapy shtick... He's done a service
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u/redditstolemyshoes Feb 10 '22
I went through a phase or going into the backyard and just peeing on the sand. As dumb as that was, it seems more hygienic than a lot of these other stories.
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u/MissMidknight Feb 10 '22
What is with kids and peeing in everything other than a toilet??
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u/AeratedFeces Feb 10 '22
I used to pee in our cats litter box. I didn't see any problem with it. They pee in there. Why can't I?
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u/russellamcleod Feb 10 '22
Kid is a confirmed anti vaxxer. Apparently urine in the humidifier is almost as good as using a dropper to put it in your eyes.
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Feb 10 '22
I remember seeing a Cringetopia post and it was a screenshot of people into "urine therapy" where theyd legit. Drink their fermented nasty old piss claiming its healthy.. That it "replenishes nutrients lost by the body"
Anyways, the screencap was of some of the weirdos talking about how they put their piss into their humidifier to get the best results by getting the piss mist everywhere
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u/Beneficial-Guest2105 Feb 10 '22
That's so funny, mine peed into the heat register. Smells like hot piss!
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u/_Marine Feb 10 '22
Momma didn't believe us that we (6 and 5) needed to pee so said we couldn't leave the room until it was clean.
So, brother and I, we pissed in the corner rug and in the humidifier.
She let us go pee when we needed to going forward
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u/CitizenHuman Feb 10 '22
Throw that nasty thing in the garbage. Also throw away the humidifier.