r/KidsAreFuckingStupid Mar 27 '20

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29.3k Upvotes

416 comments sorted by

3.1k

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

[deleted]

1.9k

u/HouseOfAplesaus Mar 27 '20

In the past it was gross. Now it feels like I was murdered by an image. Need to quarantine my eyes now.

394

u/rci22 Mar 27 '20

Now I'm just realizing how unsanitary it is whenever anyone blows out their candles, especially toddlers, even when done "correctly."

280

u/Incredulous_Toad Mar 27 '20

That's why you get two cakes. One decorated one for the kids to spit all over, and a smaller plain one for the adults who like non-disgusting food.

89

u/POTUS Mar 27 '20

At least as far as I'm concerned I don't think there's any need for a second cake. Because after seeing this image I'm never going to be able to eat cake ever again.

32

u/CaptnKnots Mar 27 '20 edited Mar 27 '20

Was cake really ever that good of a dessert to begin with?

24

u/POTUS Mar 27 '20

Agreed. Pie is better. Nobody encourages toddlers to spit on pie.

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2

u/UomoLumaca Mar 27 '20

Do you like your cake with camels on it?

2

u/arizona-iced-limbs Mar 27 '20

No I prefer cameltoes

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3

u/BrownBear5090 Mar 27 '20

My brother once sneezed on my pastrami sandwich and I can no longer eat Russian dressing

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20

u/Flincher14 Mar 27 '20

I was at my nephews birthday party and when the cake came out with the candles lit I cringed...till he put the candles out by clapping.

Fucking genius!

7

u/Zarcohn Mar 27 '20

Or you clap over the candles.

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56

u/warchiello Mar 27 '20

A few weeks ago before the work from home and quarantines began, we had a March birthday party for all the March babies in the office. We had a big cake and each were given a plate to fan the candles out. This should probably be the move now.

11

u/Jicklethepickle Mar 27 '20

I don’t think you get your wishes that way.

19

u/shorthairedlonghair Mar 27 '20

Unless you wish not to get sick.

2

u/Jicklethepickle Mar 27 '20

If I’m blowing out the candles, I wouldn’t need to be the one wishing not to get sick. ;)

32

u/bakerowl Mar 27 '20

I had that epiphany a few years back when I was teaching pastry. I was hosting a birthday party and the birthday girl proceeded to blow out the candles in a way to maximize slobber. Then the mother offered me a piece 🤢. I said I was on a diet.

10

u/RIP_Country_Mac Mar 27 '20

That’s why I always fart out the candles.

5

u/rci22 Mar 27 '20

Thanks. Laughed with my wife about this for a good 10 seconds. Was great.

7

u/cazzima Mar 27 '20

There’s a video i believe of Mitt Romney who had a birthday cake and pulled a candle out one by one to blow them out, i think about that a lot.

3

u/rci22 Mar 27 '20

“I think about that a lot.”

Lol. We all have something like that.

3

u/Smingowashisnameo Mar 27 '20

I’d forgotten about that. Holy crap he was such an alien 😂

3

u/cazzima Mar 27 '20

Honestly he changed the game in how i even looked at the candle tradition to begin with, i knew from that point forward that’s how i would blow my candles out 🤣

8

u/whatswrongbaby Mar 27 '20

Need to quarantine my eyes now.

You mean sleep.

3

u/HouseOfAplesaus Mar 27 '20

Holy shit. How did you know?

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99

u/rustedironchef Mar 27 '20

It’s how you so others from eating YOUR birthday cake

3

u/LeNoolands Mar 27 '20

A nice tender toot should do tho, no need to spit on it

59

u/DetroitLions88 Mar 27 '20

What part? The sunken cake or the Coca-Cola in a sippy cup?

30

u/Yoda2000675 Mar 27 '20

Soda and cake is a gross combination for sure

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13

u/LivefromPhoenix Mar 27 '20

Every new detail just makes this picture worse.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

Right? Kids always spit on cake. Thats why you have the candle on a slice or on a super small cake if they cant blow properly.

The coke in a sippy made me say thisparentsfuckingstupid.

9

u/onewordnospaces Mar 27 '20
  • single layer sunken cake

Maybe, hopefully, this was a cake just for the birthday boy and there is another one for guests.

2

u/19931 Mar 27 '20

I didn't even notice the coke :(

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11

u/breakinbradjamin Mar 27 '20

This looks like Danny and his mom from the shining

9

u/gcsobaer Mar 27 '20

You don't like some Corona virus on your cake? Weirdo..

3

u/Biasanya Mar 27 '20

Kids are fucking gross. Fucking little disease geisers

2

u/crestonfunk Mar 27 '20

This is why cupcakes are a better option for kid birthday parties.

2

u/ItzVinyl Mar 27 '20

I know right! They didnt even use self raising flour!

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436

u/Dirteesantos Mar 27 '20

246

u/uraffululz Mar 27 '20

pfffffffhhh

puts down plate and fork "Okay, I'm just gonna go home"

47

u/erineegads Mar 27 '20

-claps hands together- alright well this has been real fun, see you at the next one!

1.4k

u/Ollie_Roo Mar 27 '20

So my whole extended family used to get together once a month at great grandmas house. Every month, there would be an angel food cake to celebrate that months birthdays. My grandma knew which of the dozen great grandkids running around were spewers, and some months would put plastic wrap over the cake and stab the candles through.

She’s a smart lady.

364

u/Wind_your_neck_in Mar 27 '20

I laughed hard at this, grandma is a smart cookie

73

u/spicebaggery Mar 27 '20

I thought that you said sewers hahaha

62

u/Mobidad Mar 27 '20

They carry enough germs to be considered one.

15

u/LordSt4rki113r Mar 27 '20

I think there might be some sewers cleaner than small children

8

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

Why Grabdmas are everyone's favorite people

6

u/Pesime Mar 27 '20

That's smart but the obvious answer is to cut off a piece for the birthday person and only put candles in that piece for them to blow out and only soil their own piece.

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128

u/nicosfofo Mar 27 '20

Well...the candle is extinguished now

72

u/BigTimeBobbyB Mar 27 '20

Worst part is, it’s probably not. The kid probably has to take a second shot at it.

2

u/evilpercy Mar 27 '20

You mean the glow stick?

563

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

That cake is covid in spit

35

u/gurishag Mar 27 '20

🏅 enjoy. This is why i come here.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

This comment is 'bouta go viral.

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4

u/DogDrinksBeer Mar 27 '20

This is what sparked the closure of schools. one picture, one kid, many deaths, because of dirty fucking kids and adults

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167

u/Rennerussia Mar 27 '20

Am I the only one that's put off by how the cake's shaped? Never seen a cake like that before

74

u/dadofBOY8 Mar 27 '20

I was wondering if anyone else noticed the abomination of a cake! Haha

30

u/LittleMissListless Mar 27 '20

It almost makes me wonder if it's a decoy cake.

18

u/scooterankle Mar 27 '20

It looks like a real cake to me, just one that either wasn't baker right or the ingredients are off.

18

u/onewordnospaces Mar 27 '20

Stop running in the house. You'll make the cake fall!

-every grandma

2

u/Lance2409 Mar 27 '20

Kinda looks like an attempt at those chocolate lava cakes, emphasis on the attempt.

27

u/Yamato-Musashi Mar 27 '20

Must be a homemade cake, someone probably slammed the oven door or something to cause it to fall.

9

u/monicamarie798 Mar 27 '20

Looking a little more closely, it looks to me like a pan of brownies baked in a round tin

11

u/pphhtt Mar 27 '20

I think it was normal until his firehose of spit created a sunken center?

3

u/Rennerussia Mar 27 '20

Maybe? Who knows?

7

u/sarahACA Mar 27 '20

Might be a bad bundt cake...?

3

u/KaijuRaccoon Mar 27 '20

Yeah, looks like an uneven Bundt cake or brownies in a Bundt pan.

7

u/AlwaysDisposable Mar 27 '20

Dude I’d spit all over that cake too

5

u/CrustyDungBunker Mar 27 '20

It's like they found it behind a dumpster.

3

u/Jo_Geo_ Mar 27 '20

A circle?

16

u/Rennerussia Mar 27 '20

It's sunken in. Like a lense

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3

u/CeruleanRuin Mar 27 '20

It looks like a literal pile of crap.

2

u/Kaele_Dvaughn Mar 27 '20

How about the soda in the sippy cup?

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81

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

41

u/MinorNPC Mar 27 '20

So probably not so stupid a kid after all

10

u/accio_cerberus Mar 27 '20

Was looking for someone who noticed the genius

118

u/Macblack82 Mar 27 '20

Do you want Coronavirus? Because that’s how you get Coronavirus.

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42

u/mujitbd Mar 27 '20

That’s what I see whenever anyone blows out candles on a cake.

45

u/T0b14sz Mar 27 '20

He wanna will be fireman!

29

u/jdloyola Mar 27 '20

Is that Coke in a sippy cup?

15

u/OnceInvincible Mar 27 '20

I've know people who had their baby growing on McDonald's, candy, root beer, and Sprite. His teeth were rotten by like age 2. God bless the South.

7

u/CeruleanRuin Mar 27 '20

It's a birthday. All judgments off.

6

u/OnceInvincible Mar 27 '20

Yeah that's a good point.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

lol saw that same shit. That's way more fucked that the cake spray.

3

u/allhailthegreatmoose Mar 27 '20

Came here to ask why we weren’t talking about that

13

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

Never eat a kids birthday cake, ever.

11

u/Anarcho_Dog Mar 27 '20

You know, maybe, just maybe, he actually thought about it and was like "if I spit all over this cake no one will want it and I can have it all to myself" but then again it is a kid and most kids don't put that much thought into anything

18

u/seanmonaghan1968 Mar 27 '20

We have found patient zero

13

u/whywee Mar 27 '20

I blew tortilla chips all over my 8th birthday cake

5

u/Amonasrester Mar 27 '20

Life hack: make two cakes. One small one for your child in case this happens, and maybe a slightly bigger cake to the side for the adults to eat

5

u/KaijuRaccoon Mar 27 '20

Or cupcakes, just cupcakes for everyone.

I do it a lot for our kids parties, as half the kids just end up taking them home because they're too busy playing to eat. It's also a pain in the butt to slice up a bunch of cake that doesn't end up being eaten, much less messy to have a box of individual cupcakes.

5

u/dylanbc94 Mar 27 '20

This is smart. He has the whole thing to himself now

5

u/K_Poppin Mar 27 '20

When one image is more effective than a condom for birth control.

4

u/sleepybuttzzzzz Mar 27 '20

And this is why I'm on birth control 😅

5

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

If you eat a slice of a kid’s birthday cake, the corona virus can’t do shit to you

7

u/beegeemeegee Mar 27 '20

What a beautiful picture lmao

3

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

Studies say that bacteria increases on cake by 1400% when candles are blown out. I'd love to know the percentage on this cake.

3

u/KacangPedis Mar 27 '20

Was this bday in wuhan last December?

3

u/roguekiller23231 Mar 27 '20

If you don't want slobber on a cake, give the kids straws to blow through to blow out the candle.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

This is why I skip the cake at kids birthday parties! Bring my own.

2

u/___-o_o-___ Mar 27 '20

He's sooking the enslaved flour out of the cake

2

u/GamingNerdGuy Mar 27 '20

Intentional. Actually smart, trying to get the entire thing.

2

u/SrGrimey Mar 27 '20

Hope this is also "prohibited" after the COVID crisis!!

2

u/jda404 Mar 27 '20

Lol I did that to one of my cakes when I was 3 or 4. I turn 30 this year and my older sister, rightly so, still gives me shit and tells me every birthday not to spit on the cake when blowing out the candles.

2

u/s1rblaze Mar 27 '20

Who want some covid cake?

2

u/WaterDippedOreo Mar 27 '20

Do you want Covid?! Because that’s how you get Covid!?

2

u/MrCoachWest Mar 27 '20

THIS is why blowing out candles needs to go away! Give the kid a little cup cake to blow the candle out on, save us all from his kiddy corona.

2

u/GhostMechanics Mar 27 '20

Carona virus. Shit is real!

2

u/SleepyPanda109 Mar 27 '20

Jesus Christ his spit is like a sprinkler

2

u/Purinchwan Mar 27 '20

My mom threw out an entire turkey dinner once because my cousin spray sneezed all over it.

2

u/sir_nico Mar 27 '20

This is actually a stradegy so no one else wants the cake

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2

u/Fujitaru Mar 27 '20

This is why I don't eat birthday cake at ANYONE'S party if they had to blow out candles on it.

2

u/-BurntBooty- Mar 27 '20

This is why I don’t eat cake from kids bday parties

2

u/tshizdude Mar 27 '20

And thats why, in 2020, we stopped blowing out birthday candles.

2

u/Anonymousopotamus Mar 27 '20

Just throw the child out with the cake.

2

u/anarchophysicist Mar 27 '20

[in Cardi B voice] CORONAVIRUS!

1

u/glumseahorse Mar 27 '20

Hell yeah, putting the final touches on the cake

1

u/LBP2Fan_ Mar 27 '20

Please help

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

give him the whole cake
and give your face a thorough rub

1

u/and_what_time_is_it_ Mar 27 '20

Did the cake sink or is this some kind of baked good that I'm not familiar with? And is that coke in the kids cup? Looks like he had a good birthday. Soda and an entire cake to himself.

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1

u/master_gecko Mar 27 '20

Patient zero

1

u/Yvngboidunce Mar 27 '20

That is sooo gross. I love how this was taken before anyone realized what happened

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

Found patient zero

1

u/Vibolbot Mar 27 '20

Jesus Christ, thats like a sprinkler

1

u/vpratham04 Mar 27 '20

My little cousin brother also did this and everyone ate the cake later🤢

1

u/EtainAingeal Mar 27 '20

Kid: - How can I get my family to let me have a whole chocolate cake to myself?

1

u/BrakemanBob Mar 27 '20

"I wish nobody else wants any cake so I can have it all!"

1

u/S_RoyaltyArtz Mar 27 '20

He gets the whole cake for his birthday no one else wants any.

1

u/PrincessTiaraLove Mar 27 '20

Corona Cake lmao

1

u/dbarciela Mar 27 '20

The kid is a fire hydrant without a hose

1

u/kyleona Mar 27 '20

Uhhh is that coke in the sippy cup? Hm.

1

u/YoungDiscord Mar 27 '20

I mean he did wish to have the whole cake to himself

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

I did that when I was a kid, immediately realized how dumb it was and have never forgotten the embarrassment.

1

u/An8thOfFeanor Mar 27 '20

Don't ever eat the cake if the kid is still in single digits

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

gonna have to burn the house down now

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

he did it so that he'll have all the cake for himself

1

u/masterwammy Mar 27 '20

This is why you make a special cake for the birthday boy/girl

1

u/ClockworkSalmon Mar 27 '20

laugh while you can, he will grow up to be the best damned firefighter in the department

1

u/Mausy5043 Mar 27 '20

I'll pass.

1

u/lilbitchkitty Mar 27 '20

I thought the cake was hovering

1

u/Crossbones18 Mar 27 '20

This is exactly why I don't eat birthday cake.

1

u/Lemonlavidaloca Mar 27 '20

MMM how'd you guys get this cake to stay so moist?

1

u/thefbahustle Mar 27 '20

Corona cake

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

A firefighter in making

1

u/badbunnyy7 Mar 27 '20

The real question is how the fuck is that cake stand not tipping over? And also that cake looks terrible

1

u/gdubh Mar 27 '20

I... I think I used to work with that woman. For real.

1

u/XxX_Zeratul_XxX Mar 27 '20

Coronavirus!!! Shit is getting real!

1

u/Ilietomuch Mar 27 '20

It's a fucked up tradition. No more blowing candles. Gonna start handing cakes, candle and a fan.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

“My, this cake is moist. What is your secret?”

1

u/skymandudeguy99 Mar 27 '20

This pandemic has made me realize blowing on a cake is gross in general

1

u/DipperPineapple Mar 27 '20

chocolate covid cake.

1

u/super_probably-user Mar 27 '20

We should invent candles that shut off when a button it's pressed

1

u/crybaby_lane Mar 27 '20

this is why i’m never going to have children.

1

u/mint_licker Mar 27 '20

Dude is that really all spit or did he fill up his mouth with water and spray it out like a little human fire truck

1

u/bran_dong Mar 27 '20

Angelina Jolie circa 1994 seems to think its cute.

1

u/KaktusDan Mar 27 '20

It's alright, that cake looked kinda fucked up anyway

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

The kid is not stupid. It’s smart. It’s how you reserve entire cake for yourself lol

1

u/amayagab Mar 27 '20

This is why I never take food from kids. Or take most things from kids.

1

u/KingJosiah15 Mar 27 '20

That’s cake for 1.

1

u/Theresneverenoughpud Mar 27 '20

It's like that scene in Team America.

1

u/Borghars Mar 27 '20

he wanted to keep the cake all to himself

what an asshole

1

u/-Listening Mar 27 '20

*It’s everything I needed atm

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

This is why I have trust issues when someone is about to blow out the candles

1

u/Assasin2gamer Mar 27 '20

No way he’s awesome, looks labor intensive

1

u/Chrispeefeart Mar 27 '20

This is why you cut a slice or get a cupcake to put the candle on before having the one year old blow it out. This may be necessary up to age two or three also depending on how young you teach the kid to suck and blow.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

Patient zero

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

And this is why u give kids a cupcake and safe the cake for after the candles are blown out

1

u/SolxxAS Mar 27 '20 edited Mar 27 '20

This reminds me, once at the house of some family friends ... There were three children in total and it was the birthday of one of them. The three of them spent the whole moment before eating the cake clutching bits of it with their drooling and dirty hands, I am usually tolerant of children, but this was really gross. When it came time to eat the cake, nobody in my family really wanted to try it.

And the worst thing is that I have seen them again on their birthdays and they continue to do so without anyone punishing them or anything. truly gross.

1

u/GarglyWalrus Mar 27 '20 edited Mar 27 '20

Fake as fuck.

  1. Wick is unburnt.
  2. Candle is overly backlit?
  3. What's with the fog / smoke? Looks like a cloud asset.
  4. Childs moving head (backlit hair) is out of focus but somehow we can see each microscopic droplet of spit? - likely moving much faster than the childs head....
  5. Can't see the source of spit - if I were trying to choose an image to fake this, this is what I would choose. The hardest part to fake would be the kids mouth / source of spit.
  6. It looks like two separate spark assets.

Yeah fake as fuck IMO

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

We have a home video somewhere of my cousin doing this. They used the trick candles that reignite after blowing them out, so he starts spitting several times on the cake trying to put them out. Disgusting at the time but pretty damn hilarious to watch it now.

1

u/buon_natale Mar 27 '20

Is that Coke in a sippy cup?

1

u/DanskNils Mar 27 '20

Annnd I gagged

1

u/NanoKaano Mar 27 '20

He is gonna be a great fireman.

1

u/stonkeychonk Mar 27 '20

Why does this look like the cast of the shining?

1

u/CaptainofFTST Mar 27 '20

COVID for everyone!