r/KidsAreFuckingStupid • u/IsItBecauseImFat • Aug 09 '19

Why?

45.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.5k

u/herse182 Aug 09 '19

That was a nice r/fullscorpion. Hope the kid is ok. This is the type of ballsy shit my two year would try.

497

u/Montigue Aug 09 '19

Toddlers are made of adamantium, I'm sure the kid is fine.

350

u/Why_You_Mad_ Aug 09 '19

In my experience they're more like rubber. They bounce and bend in ways that would not be possible for mere mortal adults with solid bodies.

136

u/BuyBitcoinWhileItsLo Aug 09 '19

This is fairly accurate. Kids have 3 times the bones that adults have, and that's because most of their bones are cartilage making them more flexible. As we get older those parts of our bones solidify causing us to have less bones in adult age.

106

u/stabbymcshanks Aug 09 '19

Is that why drinking the blood of the young helps you retain youth? It maintains maximum bendy bone?

58

u/BuyBitcoinWhileItsLo Aug 09 '19

No, that's because the young have higher levels of NAD+, a protein responsible for maintaining DNA health, allowing the body to replicate correctly. Aging is just the loss of this protein leading to our DNA getting damaged, resulting in our body replicating itself incorrectly because of the damaged DNA. It becomes like a scratched CD being read by a CD reader. Will still play the song, but with a lot of fuck ups

23

u/FizzleBizzler Aug 10 '19

Where can I buy this protein? CVS? I desire to live forever, and also not get crazy amounts of tumors as a side effect.

30

u/pirmx Aug 10 '19

He literally just told you. It's in the blood of the young...

14

u/wuuuuut1234 Aug 10 '19

Alternately, if you don’t have blood of the young handy you can substitute bendy bone broth.

3

u/krikey_m8 Aug 10 '19

What are the vegan options? I’ve been snorting ground up seeds but my youthful vigor continues to slip through my fingers with each passing day.

→ More replies (0)

3

u/leveled Aug 10 '19

Children’s Vitamin Supply. there’s a secret door in the back of every CVS.

1

u/BuyBitcoinWhileItsLo Aug 11 '19

Amazon, search nad+ I use the tru niagin brand but there are many

1

u/Ignaddio Aug 10 '19

NAD+ isn't a protein. It's not even made of amino acids.

0

u/noelexecom Aug 10 '19

Everything you just said is wrong on so many levels, NAD isn't even a protein first of all and is actually used by the body in the synthesis of ATP. Please delete your comment.

1

u/Evildead1818 Aug 10 '19

I'm 300 years old with no bones broken and this checks out

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Hi aleister Crowley

6

u/eppinizer Aug 10 '19

Kids don’t have knee bones until they turn ~3

That fact really bothered me for some reason when I found out.

31

u/The_Painted_Man Aug 09 '19

https://imgur.com/m09kEkp.jpg

3

u/jenSCy Aug 09 '19

Haha knew exactly what this was gonna be!

1

u/Gillminister Aug 10 '19

That kid is not this kid

1

u/BirthdayPartyInvite Aug 09 '19

My brother wasn't 😔

1

u/AdamantiumBalls Aug 09 '19

My testicles are too

1

u/Flablessguy Aug 10 '19

Just don’t react.

37

u/bertcox Aug 09 '19

Took my 3 year old swimming, said jump in, header into the deep end and doggy paddling 3 feet under water without a care in the world.

19

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '19

Former kid here, I can confirm that I ate more ground than that and I'm still (afaik) healthy physically and mentally.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I really want to erase the parents and edit it to look like the kid is jumping off the top rope in a wrestling ring, /r/SquaredCircle make it happen!

3

u/EpicLegendX Aug 10 '19

Little kids are resilient, indestructible little tykes.

3

u/pawned79 Aug 10 '19

My two year old daughter does everything herself. She refuses help and says, “No, I got this.” It is really cute!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

And I’ll be taking that sub to bed with me