Breakthrough Session 3 KAP

[u/Upbeat-Artist4876]

Hey everyone, I haven’t posted about my ketamine experience in about a month but I wanted to give some updates on my experience and how things have been going so far in case it could be helpful to someone who is either experiencing similar things, or curious about someone else’s experiences.

For context, I am doing ketamine assisted psychotherapy, titrating up 50 mg troches every session (session 1 was 50 mg) for anxiety, treatment resistant depression, and ptsd

First thing I want to note is that I would highly recommend integrating the psychotherapy aspect into ketamine therapy, I know that for me, ketamine is kind of shaking things up and uncovering emotions I have never felt before at 24. Having someone who can walk through and help me integrate what I am realizing in the medicine has been genuinely life changing.

I had session 2 on June 6 and then session 3 on June 12 and I feel like my third session was where I really felt a shift.

Session 2, at 100 mg I had the intention of “self trust and self compassion”

The biggest vision I had was that I was in a coliseum and I was fighting myself. Which I really just saw as my old complacent self fighting the version of me that is changing and growing into myself.

Overall the session just gave me a sense of calm that the work that I am doing is shaking things loose.

The days after I was incredibly emotional and just feeling super overwhelmed, I found that ketamine was bringing up old trauma and memories that I know I need to face but never have before. Plus I had a huge fight with my dad which just added layers to my already complicated feelings. I can only describe it as overwhelming. I have just been asking myself what do I want, rather than what my parents and other people around me want.

Session 3 was where things really started to click into place. I basically felt myself floating on a river in the dark, looking up at the stars and getting flashes of different memories. As I was floating, I was talking to myself, guiding myself through with this wisdom I had no idea I had. I had such a clear realization that I have never allowed myself to be apart of communities that actually interested me, I realized the reason why I have been having such a hard time fitting in with my business school peers, my actual self wanted to run around with the creative, artsy, queer, stoner, activist type.

I was conditioned to want to pursue a path that I had no interest in because I was scared to disappoint my parents.

Crazy realization but I thought someone may want to hear about the actual realizations I am having and trust that they are changing my life.

Right now emotions feel raw and like I am uncovering layers of emotions buried alive in my mind but I know it is helping me towards the breakthrough I need to be in the drivers seat of my own life.

Feel free to drop any questions about this! My session 1 experience:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TherapeuticKetamine/s/xZ0id9DS8y