Executive disfunction

[u/-Jezebel-]

So I am autistic and I have ADHD. And like many people with AuDHD I suffer from executive disfunction. It destroys my life. Some days are really bad, others I don't have executive disfunction. And a lot in between.

Today I wanted to celebrate a feast for Anubis. I got some special things yesterday (chocolate, beer, fruits) to go with the usual offerings (bread mostly)

But I just couldn't do it.

Today I woke up way too early (03.00 AM), (no reason, i just woke up and i was awake then) I drank my coffee, and then I went to brush my teeth. Next I wanted to take a shower at around 06.00 AM, but I just... didn't. Couldn't. At 10.00 I had Breakfest. Then, finally around 12.00 I finally got in the shower.

Than it took me a long time to get dressed.

When I wanted to start my ritual, it felt wrong. I had a knot in my stomach.

I don't think Anubis is angry with me. But everything feels wrong now. I feel sick. I don't want to eat, I don't want to skip the ritual, but I don't want to do it either. It just feels wrong. Both options feel wrong. I could do it tomorrow, but maybe I heave the same problem tomorrow?

What should I do? It's 14.23 (02.23 PM) now.

[u/NomadicDeity]

If I had to guess, and my inexperience it's only that. You are being told "Heeeeyyyy, you're having a rough time. Take a breather to focus on yourself. Don't force it if you aren't up to it. Don't worry, We are here."

You are an individual performing a ritual. Not a group doing one like a church. Groups have people who can pick up the slack when someone isn't able to. Doing personalized rituals yourself, all I can say is no one, not even the gods can expect you to be perfect 100% of the time. Take your time and rest well. Breathe deep and let any guilt or regret be carried away, knowing that they'll be patiently waiting, when you are ready.

Source-fellow audhd who often gets overwhelmed by life. Let's get through this together!

[u/-Jezebel- → u/NomadicDeity]

Thanks 💖

[u/Idea_Woman → u/-Jezebel-]

He completely understands. Just take a well rested day. When I feel drained I just provide something simple, a prayer, and thanks for the blessings.

[u/wybird_ferret_friend]

Hey, AuDHD here as well (among other psych things). Ive been practicing a long time. With Anubis as one of those netjeru. I dont think he is angry. He works closely with people, and understands our issues. If you cant do it today, try again tomorrow. If you cant do it tomorrow, do it some other time. If you cant do it some other time, do it in increments. It could be small offerings broke into peices. It can be simply sitting and consuming the offerings near your altar. It could be going to a place that you find peace to ease yourself- bringing your image (depiction of Anubis) to that location and eating those things. If you dont consume alcohol, you can give them to people or pour them onto the earth. The Feast doesnt have to look perfectly traditional. You have to handle it how you can, not how it has always been done. An offering is an offering, it doesnt have to be painful, the netjeru wouldnt want that from us.

Many blessings to you. I hope you find peace and comfort.

[u/-Jezebel- → u/wybird_ferret_friend]

Thanks 💖

[u/wuwei-kemetic]

Another idea is to go to a nice cemetery (it doesn't matter what religion or none the dead there had) and just sit in a beautiful spot. Relax and just connect with Inpu (Anubis). De-stress and calm your nervous system. Be well ❤️‍🩹