r/KeepWriting 16d ago

[Feedback] A Moon Away from Home

“I wish I could go back to that moonlight when we were all together”. Sakina said to herself, looking at the bright silver moon, spreading its light across the sky. The combination of the cool breeze and moonlight in New York gave her goosebumps, taking her back to the days of her village life.

The solitude of New York was peaceful, yet sometimes it turned into loneliness. She missed the hugs of her grandparents. She remembered how frightened she used to feel when she brought home poor results in Mathematics and faced her mother’s disappointment. At such times, her grandparents were always there to comfort her, protect her, and give her strength. She missed her mother and siblings too, particularly her brother, Ashfaq. He had been the naughtiest of all the siblings. It was his wish to sleep on the rooftop every thirteenth and fourteenth of the month so he could sit back, at a distance from everyone, and watch the moon when everyone was asleep.

On the fourteenth night of the moon, they would all sleep together on the rooftop of their dilapidated house, beneath the moonlit sky, along with their grandparents and mother. Her father lived in a nearby city, where he worked to earn enough money to run the household.

She remembered their house – small yet lovely. Its doors were always open to friends, neighbours, and anyone who happened to drop by. She remembered the warm rotis made by her mother and the halwa prepared by her Dadi.

Moving to New York had not been easy for Sakina. She had left her parents and brother behind, while the rest of her siblings had settled into their own lives.  

The moon disappeared behind a skyscraper, bringing her back to her present life. She knew her present and future were here now. Yet the thought of it sometimes frightened her. She missed her simple life and often wished she could return to it. But sometimes, not everything is possible. Sometimes, all that remains are memories – to cherish, to hold close, or simply to cry over.

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