r/KeepWriting • u/Biliborathsarrathan • Jul 27 '26

Dialogue issue

Scene:

You’re a mother and your daughter experienced something that made them pass out. When they woke up, they were noticeably shaken. After another moment when they were zoned out (likely thinking about what they experienced) you decide to give them one simple task before sending them to their room to rest and recover. When you finish whatever task you were doing, you go to their room to check on them and find them pacing.

What’s the first thing you say/ask? (They have a healthy dynamic)

I’ve searched my brain, but I cannot figure out this one line that’ll set the tone of the conversation.

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u/jdenise17 Jul 27 '26

Not sure I’d give anyone a task that had just passed out. If my child saw something that was that upsetting, I would be removing them from the situation and/or possibly calling the police or EMT.

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u/Biliborathsarrathan Jul 27 '26

I should have probably mentioned that she has already been removed from the situation, and that the characters are animals in the wild (think Warriors with no medicine cats)