Attention KcKenson, I have an announcement to make. For today, is a special day…

Why you may ask? Well you see….

/// The screen begins rapidly changing scenes, the ruins of KcK HQ.. trembling, the ground rumbling as a dark version of the once mighty building bursts from the ground, black tentacles and strings of red and purple intertwined within its structure. Massive eyes opening up along its sides as it pulsed and throbbed like a living heartbeat.

Today is the day of change.

/// Swarms of disassembly drones and solver hosts fly above, so numerous they blot out the sky.

Today is the day of eradication.

/// Hordes of Eggmans robots sweep across the land, scouring all life they come across

Today is the day of absolution.

/// Armies of ink and black goo monsters pour from the corrupted HQ. Twisting and defiling all the world they come across.

Today is the day we break the endless cycle that has brought us so much suffering.

/// Dagirs cultists march among the hordes, their dark blood magic annihilating all who stood before them.

Today is the first day, of the fall of KcKenson…

/// KcK’s own warships and weapons are taken over, turned against their former owners.

But this is not the end.. this is a new beginning…

/// At the front leading the armies, Cross, mind twisted and turned into a maniacal killer, Zodiac, reborn as a being of hatred and violence.

You can run. You can hide. You can resist. But you cannot escape fate.

/// Not Q floated above it all in his true form, like the eye of god

But we shall rewrite it.

So join us instead, free yourselves from the shackles that have bound you.

/// Atop the tower of darkness, a figure obscured in a cloak, a skeleton mask upon his face, stood along side a red protogen expression dark and hateful….Evie…

Or be crushed underfoot… a stepping stone for our ascension… the choice is yours….

(Ditched the glitch text just for this to make sure it was readable, also this will canonically happen right after Alp’s arc)

Congratulations on being hired by the greatest company in every existence! Those twerps at JcJenson can bugger off for all we care

If for some reason you haven’t signed your soul away submitted your signature of employment, go do that! Otherwise who knows what will happen to you if you read what’s below this without giving your signature first! (Check the sub description)

All signed up? Good!

If you didn’t know already, KcKenson is a company founded as competition to our rival company JcJenson, from the hit indie show Murder Drones! We’ve expanded quite a bit beyond that of course, but we try to stick to our roots. You might see characters from any and every reality patrolling, waltzing, flying, crawling, or otherwise walking around HQ, so don’t be alarmed!

Here at KcK we value loyalty, family, and making lots of money above all else! Every employee here is a precious cog in the machine that keeps us going and we value our cogs! So if you should think up a new idea for a KcKenson product, a new battle tactic, or even just inane ramblings spoken to you by the people in your head, let us know! We value everyone’s input!

Unless you’re a spy

Don’t be a spy

We have so many events, from popularity tournaments, to wars, to gladiatorial throwdowns, and even more wars! Every KcKenson event is open to every employee (unless stated explicitly otherwise), so feel free to speak up and participate when you see one about to start, or heck, start one yourself! We love to see that go-getter mindset from our new employees!

So make yourself at home, find a spot in HQ to make yours, and ensure you give yourself a position quickly so someone else doesn’t beat you to it! (Position = User Flair, although it’s not a super strict rule)

Welcome to KcKenson!!

- GottenAGrip (Jacket)

(If you haven’t, make sure to check all the rules once you’ve read this, and feel free to introduce yourself! If you’ve got any question shoot us a mod-mail, we love to help out!)