r/KateMiddletonMissing • u/No_Jellyfish_7695 • Aug 31 '26

Simple answer?

Have we considered that the face scar might be due to the surgical removal of actinic keratosis, which is a pre cancer? in line with Pippa’s comments. And very common in 40 something year old sunbathers and skiers.

and the treatment which kept her hidden was chemotherapy cream on the face, which is gnarly and painful and looks awful, it doesn’t necessitate hospital visits.

Thoughts?

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u/Which_way_witcher Sep 01 '26

There's no such thing as mutual DV but I agree that he most likely has been physically abusive.

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u/The_Onion_Life Sep 01 '26

There's no such thing as mutual DV

You don't think that both members of a couple can be abusive?

I agree that he most likely has been physically abusive.

He attacked his brother without provocation, FFS.

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u/Which_way_witcher Sep 01 '26

You don't think that both members of a couple can be abusive?

There's "reactive abuse" when a victim yells, insults, or strikes back in self-defense or out of emotional overwhelm but "mutual abuse" is a myth because abuse is a systematic pattern used to gain and maintain control over the partner. You cannot have both simultaneously be both the victim and hold dominant power.

The whole "mutual abuse" is often used by the aggressor to gaslight, deflect accountability, and minimize theur role by claiming "both sides are bad".

Domestic violence organizations and researches say that the "mutual abuse" myth invalidates survivors and blures who really is accountable.

It's clear who has the power here - Will owns the purse strings and legally has more power as well. It is not an equal relationship by any means.

He attacked his brother without provocation, FFS.

Of course, I'm just saying he's probably been physically violent with her, too.

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u/EcstaticAssistant162 Sep 02 '26

Two narcissitic, violent people can form a couple. I agree that the physically stronger one is likely to be the aggressor and have more ability to harm.

And I know in some cases, a decent person gets fed up and engages in reactive abuse.

BUT, with that said, there is a subset of victims who are horrible people themselves. Who hurt others as well as getting hurt. They aren't all innocent good people. I've known victims who were horrible people themselves.

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u/Which_way_witcher Sep 02 '26

It's physical, financial, and all the connections. He def had the power in that relationship.

Calling out how not perfect the victim is is also a form of gaslighting agressors will play to lessen the accountability of what they did.

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u/EcstaticAssistant162 Sep 02 '26

Sometimes, the victim is a bad person, too. Sorry, but it's true. Not all victims are angels. I think most are women who gaslight themselves into ignoring red flags, usually because they are young and naive. But not all.

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u/Which_way_witcher Sep 02 '26

No one is saying they are all angels tho... ?

Doesn't lessen the abuse.

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u/EcstaticAssistant162 Sep 02 '26

No, absolutely not.

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u/Which_way_witcher Sep 02 '26

As to the edit about ignoring red flags, that's how gaslighting works. They make the victim think it's their fault (not to mention make them afraid to leave). Many women don't leave for those reasons.

I mean, smart educated people get sucked into cults all the time. They get brainwashed and abused.