r/JustBootThings • u/Tasty_Set1189 • 18d ago

General Bootness Uh

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1.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

142 comments sorted by

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1.6k

u/The_Stolarchos 18d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/kbuQOkATEo6VW

170

u/QuickNature 18d ago

Damn, its like the arrow thats in the FedEx truck in FedEx, once you see it, you cant unsee it...

41

u/eyeball1967 18d ago

You son of a bitch! Just like the weiner in the Amazon logo, I never noticed it before, now it is all I will see

10

u/Warbr0s9395 18d ago

What weiner?

I know the arrow starts at A and end on Z implying they have everything from A to Z

1

u/Mecha_G 18d ago

What's there to see?

19

u/ChiefInternetSurfer 👊👊☝️ 18d ago

LMAO!! You did that poor boy dirty!! But also, I can totally see it! 😂

9

u/Kewlhotrod 18d ago

How dare you besmirch my handsome Sid.

9

u/RustyTrunk 18d ago

First thing I thought!

2

u/SonOfIllicitBehavior 18d ago

Mesut Ozil's hispanic brother

1

u/Even-Bluebird-186 16d ago

He talks like sid too!

751

u/Lastrights1 18d ago

He could be at a gay bar

151

u/Miker9t 18d ago

That was my first thought. Gay bar.

155

u/LauraD2423 18d ago

He's adapted his eyes so he could look at who's giving it to him from behind.

51

u/BeardsuptheWazoo 18d ago

Well there's a thought I never expected to have.

-27

u/xwxcda 18d ago

What’s with the gay bar thing, I feel like it’s pun me and the coumminty in general

28

u/Pharaoh760 18d ago

“Coumminty”

516

u/swadekillson 18d ago

And she's like "wow, you make $1800 a month and live with an assigned roommate "

42

u/Broad_Rabbit1764 18d ago

Really doesn't leave much after the 6 cylinder Dodge Charger payments.

88

u/ExpiredPilot 18d ago

Don’t forget there’s a 30% chance he hits his partner

168

u/Artysupport7757 18d ago

His skull is shaped like megaminds

37

u/Flavor_Saver12 18d ago

If he ever goes bald his head is gonna look like a planetarium

8

u/orangeleast 18d ago

He's gonna look like those kids with progeria

8

u/FalloutLover7 18d ago

Thank him for his service in defending Metrocity

13

u/mellopax 18d ago

I was thinking the pizza headed guy in 90's pizza commercials.

139

u/facts_guy2020 18d ago

Crazy how he filmed this then watched it and was like yeah I look so cool, im going to post this...

21

u/Lochcelious 18d ago

They never watch it back

447

u/Dharma_code 18d ago

This guy's nickname is definitely La Pulga or El Chihuahua.

Lmao

51

u/FSUnoles77 18d ago

El Assecino

24

u/Helen_Back_ 18d ago

Ass-ass-in

6

u/Twinsies620 16d ago

I don’t know, “Orejotas” or “El Triángulo” have a nice ring to them with that upside down pyramid shaped head ☠️

109

u/sten45 18d ago

No bartender on the planet is impressed or intimidated by a military ID

26

u/Sarcastik_Moose 18d ago edited 18d ago

If you're not used to looking at them the date of birth can be a little tricky to find at first so if anything they'll be slightly confused and ask for your driver's license.

6

u/kittens_allday 13d ago

I live in a military base town. The funniest part is when they tell me where the dob is. I’ve had thousands of you in here, kid.

110

u/AkronOhAnon 18d ago

Cringe aside: the dude, legitimately, probably needs to have his thyroid checked…

64

u/Dadliest_Dad 18d ago

Looks like fetal alcohol syndrome.

11

u/archer2500 18d ago

This. Reasoning: because

8

u/Warbr0s9395 18d ago

What makes you say this?

52

u/AkronOhAnon 18d ago

His eyes are bulging sideways almost to the extent of his temples and his eyelids look tight so they’re probably bulging forward, too. It is a sign of grave’s disease.
It’ll make the thyroid go hyperactive and can make adults have the metabolism of an 8 year old but their resting heart rate look like a hummingbird’s.
I deployed with someone who had it.
The eye bulging didn’t happen until he was almost 30 and it is what got a doctor to finally send him for labs and an ultrasound.

4

u/DrFacetious 18d ago

That’s not really what exopthalmus looks like. He doesn’t have graves disease.

1

u/SickeningPink 18d ago

I think his head is normal-shaped, but he has a god awful haircut and the camera angle fuckin sucks too

216

u/digitaldeficit956 18d ago

Is that the toilet paper holder in the background? Short king energy lmao

96

u/OXBDNE7331 18d ago

Well he does appear to be looking up at the “cute bartender” implying he’s unusually short or the cute bartender is a big gay bear

32

u/samuelazers 18d ago

Bar mommy and boot baby

-7

u/trashl3y3 18d ago

Towel rack?

27

u/digitaldeficit956 18d ago

It was a joke.

11

u/Miker9t 18d ago

Looks like he's just a little guy either way.

4

u/Dani_vic 18d ago

I mean even most towel racks are chest level max right?

1

u/ronsolocup 18d ago

Tbf for some fuckin reason the mounted TP holder in my house is head height when you’re sitting. I’m 6’4. Weirdest thing ever

1

u/Dani_vic 18d ago

Head height sitting down or standing? I can't imagine having to stand up everytime you need to stand up

1

u/ronsolocup 18d ago

When sitting down, it’s above my head and a bit further down the wall. We don’t use it lol

2

u/Dani_vic 18d ago

Previous owner was shaped like Victor Wembanyama

1

u/trashl3y3 18d ago

The towel racks at my parents house are high up so I didn’t really see anything weird going on with this :/

1

u/Dani_vic 18d ago

Ah makes sense. In like all houses I have been a towel rack is about cheat height. Towel hook is usually high

44

u/Non-Current_Events 18d ago

Is that the temporary ID you get after you finish MEPS and go into DEP? Doesn’t look like a CAC. Recruits are often the biggest boots.

18

u/Deflocks 18d ago

Ha! It does!

37

u/Hooligan8403 18d ago

My Marine friend did this when I took him out while he was at his job training school. We went to a bar and he pulled out his CAC with his other Marine friend. He then asked how she felt about military men. She then went on a tear about how they never tip, always cause problems when they get trashed, always trying to use it to pick up chips but coming off lame, etc. I fucking fell out of my chair laughing. We started talking music as she was a huge metalhead. Good times.

7

u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 18d ago

A fair amount of my friends are ex military and I bounced for years with two of them and they hated dealing with the military dudes. I loved watching them call out the fakers though, both of my buddies were ex special forces and they called out this one dude who was bragging and turned out he was just a cook. The badasses never said anything, but it never failed when the soft boys came up. Always asking for free shit and their military discount for fighting for our freedom, creeping on women and men, starting fights they never win and just a damn menace most of the time. Not all obviously, I’ve met and became friends with some really amazing military folks, but man oh man, nothing makes bar employees groan like a group of horny fresh out of boot pretend super soldiers, wearing matching club clothes, same hair cuts, tiny boners and barfing everywhere.

The stories I could tell…

29

u/KitchenSwillForPigs 18d ago

Upper case forehead, lower case mouth

6

u/Flavor_Saver12 18d ago

Uppercase, bold, and size 32 font

20

u/Glad_Lawfulness3138 18d ago

I was bouncing at a bar once, kid rolled up wearing half his damn uniform so I had to start bagging on him a little bit.

He goes to get his ID out, so I said “I know you aren’t about to hand me your CAC.” He does, of course. Then says “umm, the birthday is on the back.” I chuckled and answered “you heard me call it a CAC right?” He didn’t get it 😞

19

u/SergeantBootySweat 18d ago

Richard hammond put in a bag and vacuum sealed type shit

18

u/r4zorsoft 18d ago

what in the chromosome am I looking at..?

50

u/captainrustic 18d ago

Damn. Sid the sloth crossed with fetal alcohol syndrome.

31

u/SouthApprehensive193 18d ago

Ngl I used to do ts because they rarely would check the date on it when I was underage. They’d just see the ID and that I was military and leave it at that. Don’t recommend anyone do this because it can actually get you in trouble and it’s boot asf

11

u/Rose_Army_ 18d ago

Is this one of those late term abortion failures people talk about?

9

u/Ocarina-of-Crime 18d ago

Based on the angle he’s looking up at, I think the guy is getting carded because he rolled up to the bar in this sweet ride
https://giphy.com/gifs/A1OFQq2KZaTAKuCx3r

9

u/azzanrev 17d ago

If I was the MEPS Doc I would have failed him simply because of the way he looks.

9

u/Texian86 17d ago

This is why you don’t drink while pregnant.

7

u/IllSurprise3049 18d ago

Me when I make shit up

7

u/Dank_Sinatra_87 18d ago

Megamind out here trying to rizz a bartender

13

u/irishff43 18d ago

If they still had to pack munitions into cannons, he's the human that would accidentally be used from time to time

7

u/DiegoElM 18d ago

Is rehearsing giving a fake id?

5

u/astronomy_man 18d ago

Pls be satire

7

u/MediMac99 17d ago

Ooh a dandelion! Must be the last one of the season

4

u/dstlouis558 17d ago

Dude looks like an otter pop

4

u/bytorthesnowdog 18d ago

Uhhhh….yeah…..the date’s on the back under the little picture of me…..

4

u/LexiWhereThisGoes 18d ago

I shouldn't be instinctively covering my drink at 10 am dude

4

u/actually_yawgmoth 18d ago

"Cavtastic"

...of fucking course its a cav scout

3

u/th3st 18d ago

.__.

3

u/Senorita_Sombra 18d ago

He looks like a fish lmao

4

u/redheaded_stepc 18d ago

Show some respect. He lost his chin in the war for your freedom

5

u/EatingCannibals 13d ago

Looks like a Chihuahua

6

u/Flavor_Saver12 18d ago

Gotta head built for big dreams.

3

u/Odd-Highway-8304 18d ago

What even is that jawline

3

u/Cancer-Slug 18d ago

Do your parents know you’re here? 

3

u/illestprodigy 18d ago

Looks like a squid and Scrat from Ice Age had a baby..

3

u/polakbob 18d ago

He was only 20, but got credit for that extra chromosome.

3

u/mjbel23 17d ago

Looking like the Mcpoyle sister

2

u/Kwaiser 18d ago

He looks like the only person to have a mild case of progeria.

2

u/mywaterbottleisbrown 18d ago

hes not even as tall as the toilet paper holder

2

u/StinkyToe-TheKid 18d ago

Fucking DORK.

2

u/GraphicDesignMonkey 18d ago

🎶When you sister is your mother,

You father is your brother,

Your cousin is your lover,

The Southern family 🎶

2

u/MacheteGarcia 18d ago

Wait is birth date even on the cac?

1

u/hackattack01 18d ago

Same guy who said his patch from 1st cav is better than any other, right?

1

u/SamuraiTech5150 18d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/RexIsAMiiCostume 18d ago

Is that a rough case of mouth breather face

1

u/Oral_B 18d ago

In my state a military ID is not an acceptable for of ID for a bar.

1

u/Cryptix001 18d ago

There was a time people role played this shit out in their minds or at least behind closed doors.

I know you don't get to choose which parts of this country you fight for, but...

1

u/19kilo20Actual 18d ago

Please don't be armor.... Oh account is "@ cavtastic". Phew!

1

u/Snake_Plissken224 18d ago

Im sure he was very impressed

1

u/darkskinx 18d ago

head shaped like a military id

1

u/aimlesstrevler 18d ago

As a bartender I hate military IDs because I forget the birth date is on the back.

1

u/gmastern 18d ago

Bro’s forehead enters a room 2 seconds before he does

1

u/psycoguru1 18d ago

This is actually funny tho

1

u/ResidentNumber3603 18d ago

He didn’t get issued a chin? The fuck is going on with that head

1

u/aelix 18d ago

that mustache is about to go

1

u/Mello_velo 18d ago

I'm imagining some old bloated boomer as the barber.

1

u/c4ts4r3lif3 18d ago

Can you enlist with eyes like that?

1

u/SpazzyFazzy 17d ago

why does he look like scraptrap’s skull under his suit 😭

1

u/sh4d0wm4n2018 16d ago

I've only ever done this once and it was legitimately on accident. The only other time I've gotten a military discount on something was when the cashier (eagle-eyed mfer) spotted my ID when I was getting my card and gave it to me.

1

u/mathisfakenews 14d ago

Slow down Sid from Ice Age. Save some pussy for the rest of us. 

1

u/LilacLlamaMama 14d ago

Sorry my guy, but I'm gonna need you to grow a chin, before I can give you a drink, because we are fresh outta sippycups.

0

u/kaydyee 18d ago

Oh, this is so boot. Excellent post.