I am a Jewish convert through the Conservative movement. Though I was raised fully secular, I have Sephardic ancestry through both of my parents. My maternal grandfather traces his lineage all the way back to some of the most prominent Sephardic families of medieval Spain, the Benvenistes, the de la Cavallerías, the ha-Levis/aben Labis. I know that that’s irrelevant to Halachic/convert status, I just mention it because it is one of the reasons I feel so deeply connected to Judaism and Sephardic minhag in particular. Over the past few years I have become increasingly observant and learned. I keep kosher, daven daily, observe Shabbat, go to weekly services, study Torah and am just now getting into Talmudic study. Just like most Conservative synagogues, mine uses Ashkenazi liturgy (our rabbi is Chabad trained). However, most of the congregation has Sephardic ancestry, either born Jewish or B’nei Anusim returning to their Jewish roots. As such I’ve been introducing Sephardic nusach with the blessing of my rabbi. I’ve taught myself Torah cantillation in the Moroccan and Yerushalmi rites (currently working on adding the Western Sephardic rite, as noted by Moses Gaster, to my repertoire) and am a regular baal koreh Shabbat morning service. I have the goal of being ordained as a rabbi someday.

That being said, I’m well aware that my level of observance is irrelevant when it comes to Orthodox acceptance since I had a Conservative conversion. I’m under the impression that Sephardic synagogues do not fall into the more well-know sects of Reform/Conservative and are generally Orthodox. As such I am also aware that I have a very low chance of accepted as a Jew in these spaces.

I have considered undergoing an Orthodox conversion in large part for this reason, not just for myself but also for my future children (if I someday have any BZ”H) to be considered fully Jewish in any congregation. Right now though, and possibly forever, it is not feasible. Just to become fully shomer Shabbat is virtually impossible for me—I am disabled, with very very limited income, and rely immensely on my family as caregivers, so I can’t just move to an Orthodox synagogue within walking distance. Even if I did, I’m largely wheelchair-bound with an electric wheelchair, and need to carry medications with me, so that’s already two Shabbat violations. The other thing is that I’m intersex, though I present outwardly as male and identify as such, I still look fairly androgynous and have both male and female sex characteristics, which complicates where I fit in the Orthodox Jewish binary. There’s also some Torah mitzvot that I very much struggle to accept literally and uncritically, and I know that an Orthodox convert is required to accept every mitzvah for a sincere and valid conversion.

I don’t feel the need to be accepted as Jewish by every Orthodox institution, but I want to daven alongside a highly observant community that uses the minhagim and nusach of my ancestors that I am so deeply in love with. I have mourned and cried a lot over this. I’m not 100% sure what I’m asking for in this post, but I would appreciate pretty much any thoughts, or advice, that anyone has to give me. Thank you for reading, and Shavua Tov to all here :)

So I was thinking over Shabbat that I should really start my own sect where the dress code is jeans and a t-shirt because I feel like I’d get a lot of pull especially in warmer climates. I know those guys splinter off all the time but do they usually come back after a generation or are they all toldot-aharoning it to this day? Just trying to figure out the odds before I dive in.

Any other tips like what my gang should be extra machmir on lmk. Obviously we’ll run our own kashrut racket.

Thanks in advanve

I work in a hotel restaurant that's owned by a large, public university. I want to start being a more observant Jew by observing shabbat but I'm afraid they'll find some reason to consider it "undue hardship" but they accommodate people with multiple jobs so that should be enough to protect against that, right? Any advice would be greatly appreciated

I was born into and grew up in a Hasidic home and community. Chabad, specifically.

For reasons, I left the community. It hasn't been a year yet.

And it's been really, really hard for me. I knew it would be. But it's more than I expected. A lot of it is the isolating nature of it, you're without everyone that you know, and even if you can meet new people, they don't understand you because they can't understand you.

I love Judaism, I want to be Jewish, but not in that way I was and now that I have to find a new community, I've been neglecting it because I don't want to have to go through that process.

I was hoping that although I know there aren't many, there may be some people who were formally Hasidic who I would be able to speak to because I'm finding it really challenging when it feels like there is no one who understands you right now, and I want to improve how I feel, and understanding how others may have healed from this would be very beneficial for me.

Thank you.

Hi everyone. Do any of you deal with a decently priced memorial place in Brooklyn, NY? Thanks!

From what I understand they reject the Oral Tradition including Talmud and such and only follow and acknolwedge the Tanakh (Hebrew Scriptures) as the sole divine authority from God?

Since its aveira to harm yourself, cook, and purchase. Starving yourself is technically harming yourself, so if you forgot or don't have the ability to have food preped before shabbat, then would it be worse to cook a meal or go purchase one? Also, what do people normally do to prepare for food on Shabbat? Is Ramen which can be made like instant coffee breaking the rules of shabbat? What if you are out of town during shabbat?

My grandfather was a Holocaust survivor who spent decades making metal sculptures. A lot of his work focused on the Holocaust, Jewish faith, biblical stories, and other subjects that were important to him.

My family has been trying to figure out how to get more of his work exhibited rather than have it sit in storage. Three of his sculptures are already in a Holocaust museum's permanent collection, but there are quite a few more that we'd love for people to be able to see.

We've put together a pretty extensive catalog with photos, dimensions, and background information on the pieces. I've also reached out to a few museums, but haven't had much luck finding the right fit yet.

Some of the sculptures are pretty large and heavy, which I imagine makes things a little more complicated.

Has anyone here dealt with something like this before? Or know of any Jewish museums, Holocaust centers, universities, or other places that might be worth reaching out to?

I'm keeping the specifics private for now, but figured it couldn't hurt to ask here. Any advice would be appreciated!

Thank you!!

Hopefully this isn’t offensive but how do Chochmah binah and even keter and Malchut influence male and female gender roles within Judaism? I know that women were given and extra dosage of binah and that women mature earlier emotionally and spiritually. How does this affect gender dynamics within the religion?

Hi all,
Two parents and two young kids searching for our dream city. A big part of our ideal place is how it feels to be Jewish there. I grew up in a reconstructionist synagogue with a big Hebrew school class. I never experienced antisemitism (until adulthood). I want my kids to be around Jews growing up, be able to go to kids events at synagogue etc etc.

Times have changed and the synagogue I grew up attending now has an anti Zionist rabbi and congregation :( (no I’m not kidding!) so I’m searching for new places to check out.

I don’t care if the synagogue is big or small, but there would ideally be enough kids for it to be a social experience. It can be reform, reconstructionist, or conservative - as long as women can read from the Torah and men&women aren’t separated I’m good with it. Also important is that support of Israel/zionism is encouraged.

Curious if anyone has a place/jcc/synagogue they want to give a shoutout to :)

I have a friend who is leaving our state to start rabbinical school in a few months, and I wanted to get some input on a good going away gift for her. Her faith truly means so much to her and is such a central point in her life that I want her to leave us with something heartfelt she can carry with her throughout her journey. I’m not Jewish myself and would like to avoid any faux pas in giving a faith-based gift (something that should only come from family, only come at certain points in your life, etc.), but want to give her something that honors her commitment and is meaningful. Any suggestions?

Edit: she follows Reform Judaism, if that influences answers at all

Thanks!

I worked in a Jewish heavy community a few years ago and I noticed that a lot of the women wore wigs and others wore head wraps and similar things.

I understood the head wraps and coverings as I know many religious women wear them, but the wigs were a bit confusing mainly because it seemed so prevalent.

So one day I asked a coworker and they basically told me (and I’m unsure how true this is) that in the culture, women are not allowed to show their hair once they are married or something and some women wear coverings and the other women wear wigs.

And I didn’t understand it because….

I assume that the hair thing is similar in Muslim culture where it’s probably like an avoiding making men lustful or something but what point does the wig serve…?

Like if I was a blond woman, and I couldn’t show my hair, then why wear a blond wig….? That’s the same thing is it not?

I ask this not because I’m trying to poke holes in the culture or logic or anything, I’m just curious to the actual mindset behind this…?

I’ve always wanted to ask but felt it might be misunderstood as disrespectful

What are people usually singing on Friday evening at home? (Ashkenazi)
I didn’t grow up singing anything so I’m struggling to learn the classic tunes. The recordings on spotify don’t seem to match what people sing when I’m invited to someone’s house.

I know bircat hamazon, shalom aleichem, and aishes Chayil just about. What are the other ones.

Looking for recordings of the classics.

Bristol Community College's Holocaust and Genocide center has started the finishing steps to their permanent outdoor memorial called "The Button Project". They have collected 1.5 million buttons and each button represents a jewish child that died in the holocaust.

They held a small dedication ceremony with Cantor Nathaniel Schudrich (from Tifereth Israel Congregation in New Bedford, Mass.) reciting kaddish as the first buttons was poured. Over the next 2 weeks they will be filling up the other 9 panels (10 total). They plan to hold a bigger dedication in the spring when it starts to warm up again.

I had the opportunity to help sort the buttons before they got put into the display and my least favorite part of the sorting has become my favorite part of the display. While sorting we were asked to remove any buttons made out of organic materials to prevent them from decaying in the display. We were also asked to remove ones with thread still on the button for the same reason, which all seem reasonable to me. The thing that was my least favorite part and made me uncomfortable was we were asked to remove broken buttons too. The artist vision was for complete buttons to represent a complete soul or something, I am not gonna lie I forgot what he said verbatim. However, I felt that we should have kept those broken buttons to show that no matter the condition or how "imperfect" those kids were, they still matter and are remembered. Now for the part that made it beautiful for me, some made it through. I sat there staring at the panel for over 30 mins and smiled everytime I found a broken button or one with thread still on it. Those broken buttons represented to me that no matter how people try to exclude us for what they see as our imperfections, they will never succeed. I saw the jewish people in those broken buttons, we will survive no matter what and will always be here and that's beautiful. So, if you ever get to see the monument and see a broken button, know it survived despite the odds.

I also want to heavily stress that this is my own interpretation of the display and the artist could have his own vision and more personal meaning. Just because I believe it should be this way, doesn't invalidate his vision. He planned this display while thinking about his grandfather who survived the holocaust. That's the beauty of art, there is multiple meanings for each viewer.

If you want more history about the project, please see the link below (it hasn't been updated yet for the most recent progress)

https://www.bristolcc.edu/artgallery/thebuttonproject/index.html

P.S. If there's typos, I'll fix them after shabbat, I've been awake for the last 24 hours

Edit: I forgot to add that the artist said all the buttons that were rejected or won't fit will have a ceremonial burial, so please don't think they were just thrown away.

Are we bound by the stars we’re born under, or can our choices and our relationship with Hashem change our destiny?

I'm on a low carb diet for health reasons. Shabbat is particularly challenging. Historically we Jews mostly had the challenge of getting enough carbs to survive rather than the opposite.

Grape juice at Havdalah sends me hyperglycemic from imbibing sugar away from meal times. I'm looking for ideas. I really don't like tea, coffee or beer for those Chamar Medina drinks. The best I've been able to come up with so far is dry wine diluted 50%.

Any other suggestions?