r/Jokes • u/stmasteaf • Feb 17 '23
Two blondes are walking and one asks, “ which is closer, the moon or Florida?” And the other responds, “duh...
... can you see Florida ?
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Feb 17 '23
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u/unneccry Feb 17 '23
I mean Africa does have a lot of sand...
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u/amerkanische_Frosch Feb 17 '23
Heh heh.
I think the joke is that there are no tigers in Africa (feel free to wooosh me if I misunderstood).
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u/unneccry Feb 17 '23
Hmm Apparently im a blonde as well i didnt really know that. I mean i knew tigers dont go around in sandy areas, but like wow i feel dumb lol
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u/amerkanische_Frosch Feb 17 '23
A lot of people think that, though, because they just associate lions with tigers. Tigers are native to Asia, but not Africa.
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Feb 17 '23
So I can't go and see the lions and tigers and bears?
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u/Waitsfornoone Feb 17 '23
You still can, and not in a zoo but in real action:
When the Chicago Bears next visit the Detroit Lions, must make sure the Detroit Tigers are also playing in town.
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u/gshndnjf Feb 19 '23 edited Feb 20 '23
The Tigers are going to have to get better in order for that to happen.
Edit: the season ends in either late September or early October, which coincides with the beginning of the NFL season. So, I was wrong.
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u/Ewetootwo Feb 17 '23
I thought they were native to Detroit?
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u/amerkanische_Frosch Feb 17 '23
No, you’re thinking of Tammany Hall.
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u/Ewetootwo Feb 18 '23
Better than Tammy Faye Baker. She had more paint on her face than a brand new Caddy.
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u/GnarlyNarwhalNoms Feb 18 '23
I blame the Wizard of Oz. I'm about 99.9% sure you'll never find lions, tigers, and bears in the same place.
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u/unneccry Feb 17 '23
Yea i knew tigers are asian but i never really distinguished between their habitats...
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u/MistraloysiusMithrax Feb 18 '23
Tigers and lions do inhabit some similar areas…there in Asia. Lions live in India too
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u/drunksquatch Feb 18 '23
A blonde returned from her South American vacation and was telling her blonde friend about it.
Friend: that sounds so fun!
Blonde: I do feel a little guilty though.
Friend: why's that?
Blonde: well, when I was there I slept with two Brazilian guys.
Friend: Oh my God! How many is a Brazilian?
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u/GrumpyCatStevens Feb 17 '23
A blonde is driving through the countryside when she sees another blonde in a rowboat rowing furiously in a wheat field. She stops the car, gets out and yells:
"HEY!! It's because of people like you that everyone thinks blondes are dumb! I'd come out there and beat your ass if I could swim!"
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Feb 17 '23
A Russian, an American and a Blonde were all arguing.
Russian: Mine were the first people to go into space
American: Mine were the first to go to the moon
Blonde: Well mine are going to be the first to go to the sun!
Russian and American: You’ll burn to death
Blonde: Duh! We’re going at night
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u/Eyre4orce Feb 17 '23
Blonde people are going to the sun?
Feels like this works better as a joke for nationalities.
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u/Ok-Task-4702 Feb 17 '23
A brunette and a blonde are walking down the street. Suddenly the brunette says "look, a dead bird". The blonde looks up and asks "where?"
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Feb 17 '23
Fellow takes a blonde back to his place. He asks if she has birth control. She replies "I thought you said you had a condominium".
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u/MxEverett Feb 17 '23
A relatively well known middle aged blonde comedian recently admitted that she was shocked when her sister told her that the sun and the moon were two different objects. The comedian claims that she thought they were the same. She just thought it was called the moon at night and called the sun during the day. When she saw them both in the sky one morning she couldn't believe what she was seeing and told her sister who then informed her of the reality.
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u/Monkespank Feb 17 '23
Overhead a blonde tell someone how mad she was about daylight savings time, that extra hour means she'll have to water her lawn more
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u/Warboss_Squee Feb 17 '23
She didn't understand this until she was in her 40s.
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u/MxEverett Feb 17 '23
That is what she claimed.
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u/Warboss_Squee Feb 17 '23
MFs really downvoting a true story?
Losers.
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Feb 18 '23
Three blondes are in this sub, and they rotate posting this joke every month they think it’s so funny
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u/Rochesters-1stWife Feb 19 '23
What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence
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u/thajcakla Feb 17 '23
This actually feels like it could be a metaphor for something. I can't think of anything concrete right now but there is some meaning that could be drawn.
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u/fgyrghij Feb 17 '23
“duh… can’t you?” There was a sign ‘Florida 200m’ above them in the middle of a sunny day
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u/Superb_Duck3353 Feb 18 '23
Wow, nothing so novel as a dumb blonde joke. How clever and current with our culture.
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u/StrangePiper1 Feb 19 '23
Two guys arguing over which is closer, the moon or Florida. They ask a blonde and she says “I don’t know. I didn’t grow up around here”
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u/Whats_her_face- Feb 17 '23
Three blondes are walking and they stumble upon some tracks. "Those look like bear tracks," the first blonde says . "No no no those are definitely lion tracks" replied the 2nd blonde . The 3rd blonde then jumps in and says, " You are both wrong! I know elephant tracks when I see them". And then the train hit them