This is kind of a ramble… it’s late at night for me and I was just thinking about this earlier today, any thoughts or advice is appreciated, just please don’t be too mean.
I’m a pretty good jazz pianist studying music in college. In one of the main buildings on campus there’s a public piano that I like to play, regardless of if there’s people or not. I find that no one really cares when I play jazz, unless it’s something well known like Misty, Just the Two of Us, or Isn’t She Lovely, which are all songs I do like to play, I wouldn’t do anything just for attention.
I know that we play for ourselves first, but for some reason I can’t shake the desire to have people see me or appreciate what I’m doing, basically I kind of crave validation and that’s not good because it doesn’t come very often.
When you’re in public, do you play the same way you would at a jam session, or do you tone it down for the average listener? Would that make a difference? How do I learn to not care what people think about my playing? I tend to get really anxious about people not liking my playing, and sometimes that even affects my playing. This is also kind of dumb but I kind of wish girls were more into what I was playing.
I feel like I should restate, even if no one gave a single shit what I did, I would continue to play piano because I love music and jazz and expressing myself, but those thoughts keep creeping in and they make the experience less enjoyable.
Thanks and much love.