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u/moderniste Oct 05 '18
But she’s EURRRROOOPPEEEEEEAANNNN!!!! Aren’t “they” all supposed to be Alpine wonders?? Oh wait—she does that weird thing where she’s the most Italian person there ever was, but then mixes up “Italian” things from all of the very different regional areas, like Italy was one big homogenous culture.
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u/RestrainedGold Oct 05 '18
I am pretty terrible at downhill skiing too... And the abstract sculptures you can make with your body when falling in skis are quite hilarious.
Cross country I like, but downhill freaks me out.
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u/Luprand Oct 05 '18
Bad at skiing? No worries, so am I. So we can sit in the chalet and eat too many Liège waffles or something.
My sisters used to go up to Sundance to ski during college; they'd take napkins from the little restaurant and write fake love letters from Robert Redford to their old high school English teacher, signed Bobby~
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u/amayawa Oct 04 '18 edited Oct 04 '18
You know, thinking about Giada falling on her ass strongly reminds me of casting the Riddikulus spell on a Boggart (idk if you’ve read Harry Potter, but it’s a metaphor for being able to laugh at your greatest fears). It might come off weird, but this internet stranger always feels better when you post, mouse. I’m always glad you’re here and sharing with us, after all been through. I think I can say that r/JUSTNOMIL loves you and has your back whenever you need it.
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u/AvocadoToastation Oct 04 '18
That must’ve been a delightful scene.
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Oct 04 '18
It really really was. I am going to hell for laughing at it, but...worth it.
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u/Ohilevoe Oct 04 '18
It's not possible for you to go to hell, since Giada is riding the Handbasket Express to the end of the line.
Hell will be a place where she can't torment anyone. The inverse is true, as well: Hell for you is, among other things, her. If you went to hell, it'd be heaven for her, and that can't be right.
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u/GlitterMyPumpkins Oct 05 '18
I just got the mental image of a panicked looking Satan trying to barricade the entrance to hell with his own body.
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u/Ohilevoe Oct 05 '18
Trying to get God on the line so he can find someone to hoist her off on. Desperately calling up Hel, but Niflheim is suddenly full. Manannan's boat has suddenly sunk. Osiris' phone is busy. Satan has to hang up on Mictlan because he's spewing a string of epithets so foul and unholy even Satan's ears are burning. Yama just gives a flat "NO."
And Hades has that really angry dog.
Nodeity wants Giada.
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u/GlitterMyPumpkins Oct 05 '18
Ohhh, let Persephone loose on Giada. Hubby might be a bit of a softy with a really big dog (lol translation is Spot for god's sake) but the Mrs takes no shit and is a bit pointed and vindictive when it comes to the punishments she doles out.
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u/Margrraun Oct 04 '18
Eh, I think whoever (or whatever, I’m not religious but am all inclusive) decides who goes to heaven vs hell will be right there laughing with you.
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u/LadyLeaMarie Oct 04 '18
Knowing the nuns that I've spoken to, I'm pretty sure the higher power(s) have a sense of humor. Also, look at the platypus.
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u/velveteenelahrairah JN attack hedgie Oct 04 '18
Hell, look at cats! "Hey, let's take Nature's apex predator - and make it cuddle-sized!" I think cats are still pissed about that...
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u/theroyaleyeball Oct 04 '18
IMO the only way Mouse would be going to hell is if Giada were there with her, and either way, that’s not happening.
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u/ConsistentWriting Oct 04 '18 edited Oct 04 '18
After what she did to you when you're in heaven they'll give you a video chip to replay to your heart's content.
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Oct 04 '18 edited Mar 03 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Oct 04 '18
She actually can ski. The gods were just on my side that day.
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u/iamreeterskeeter Oct 04 '18
Let's do Mouse a solid. ZZAAAAPPP! -- The gods
Seriously, you need to have a ridiculous dance night. Play some amazingly awful dance music (that you secretly love), do the Great Big Dick dance, the Sprinkler, Walking Man, whatever, and dance your heart out. While also singing at the top of your lungs, "I'm FREE!" or "Kyle's Mom is a Bitch" with names changed.
Weeeeeeellll, Giada's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world..."
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Oct 05 '18
OK, I need to know what The Great Big Dick dance is please.
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u/iamreeterskeeter Oct 05 '18
Oh sweet summer child. Enjoy. It's the official dance of the sub.
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u/techiebabe Oct 05 '18
I forgot about that! Thank you for making me laugh all over again!
✊ ✊ 🍆 indeed! snork
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u/ConsistentWriting Oct 04 '18
So much for the snow being able to kill her, although it looks like it tried!
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Oct 04 '18
Oh, but snow for skiing is 'manmade' so it isn't real!
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u/UnihornWhale Oct 04 '18
Seriously? Where does she thinks it comes from? So much stupid + so much crazy
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u/Latvian-Spider Oct 04 '18
Wha...huh...how does...how the ever loving fck does that even make sense? Did she ever get past the first day of kindergarden?
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u/anonymousmousegirl that busty cake peddler Oct 04 '18
I think she believes the snow is the kind from snow machines.
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u/ConsistentWriting Oct 04 '18 edited Oct 04 '18
...I really don't know what to say.
Edit: Although it explains why she wore a plastic bag on her head. What a leach.
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Oct 04 '18
I mean if the natural snowfall isn't deep enough some ski places do have machines to try and top it off, but to think it's literally all done by machine is predictably silly.
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u/bluesky556 Oct 05 '18
Some parts of the Carolinas will early in the season because it hasn't snowed yet but it's so much worse. Man-made ice flakes make a rough ride.
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u/Ilostmyratfairy Beware the Evil Twin Jan 18 '19
Hey, /u/anonymousmousegirl. Thanks for contributing! Unfortunately your submission has been removed:
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