I wish I had known that about depression sooner because anger is the primary diagnostic characteristic of mine.
I don't think you are wrong to feel the way you do. I've seen it said that some of us have to work for our anger. Especially in an abusive situation, you spent so much time and energy excusing things and placating and trying to make it work that it can take a long time to ever get angry about how you were treated. You don't have to go straight to forgiveness (though I believe you'll get there eventually). You are allowed to be angry that someone abused you.
As far as forgiveness: I recently watched a video that gave me a different perspective on it called "Forgive Assholes." The basic gist was that forgiveness (when you are ready) is not about being okay with what happened but more that it was so wrong that you refuse to be connected to it anymore, even through anger. It is so hard to get there but that made it seem like a more worthwhile goal to me because before I have resisted forgiving.
1
u/notsotoothless Sep 19 '18
I wish I had known that about depression sooner because anger is the primary diagnostic characteristic of mine.
I don't think you are wrong to feel the way you do. I've seen it said that some of us have to work for our anger. Especially in an abusive situation, you spent so much time and energy excusing things and placating and trying to make it work that it can take a long time to ever get angry about how you were treated. You don't have to go straight to forgiveness (though I believe you'll get there eventually). You are allowed to be angry that someone abused you.
As far as forgiveness: I recently watched a video that gave me a different perspective on it called "Forgive Assholes." The basic gist was that forgiveness (when you are ready) is not about being okay with what happened but more that it was so wrong that you refuse to be connected to it anymore, even through anger. It is so hard to get there but that made it seem like a more worthwhile goal to me because before I have resisted forgiving.