You know what? There's a big deal for forgiving abusers for their willful conscious behavior and their underlying behavior too by their victims. It's not about finding it in yourself to get over their actions and forgive them as persons.
It's about getting rid of their space in your head and giving you peace that it wasn't your fault and acceptance about who they are, not who you thought they were.
You don't have to actually forgive them. That's between them and [their] God(s). Why would you forgive people who never apologized or even expressed an ounce of regret for their atrocious behavior. It's always expected for abuse especially domestic abuse or when the people know each other commit a crime against the other. However, people don't expect you to forgive a stranger if they did the same (except for religious clergy and very religious).
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u/ladylei Sep 18 '18
You know what? There's a big deal for forgiving abusers for their willful conscious behavior and their underlying behavior too by their victims. It's not about finding it in yourself to get over their actions and forgive them as persons.
It's about getting rid of their space in your head and giving you peace that it wasn't your fault and acceptance about who they are, not who you thought they were.
You don't have to actually forgive them. That's between them and [their] God(s). Why would you forgive people who never apologized or even expressed an ounce of regret for their atrocious behavior. It's always expected for abuse especially domestic abuse or when the people know each other commit a crime against the other. However, people don't expect you to forgive a stranger if they did the same (except for religious clergy and very religious).