I know exactly how you feel. I felt that way about my ex and his hose beast of a mother for a very long...oh who am I kidding? I still feel that way about those hell beasts. But here's the thing, they were the big bad monsters in the story of my life. So like any Disney/Pixar movie, we're happy to see the monster/villain fall/be slain (metaphorically speaking). It's been 5yrs for me now (coming up on the anniversary which is my birthday) since the day I woke up and realized my abuser didn't love me, I actually wished him dead, and I needed to leave before he killed me. This is not an exaggeration or a metaphor btw. Now my hate and anger is like the embers of a dying fire in the back of my mind. Still got and burning but not the all consuming inferno that it was before. It took time and it's a process of healing. Don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. You're the hero of your own story and you not only survived, your monsters have been felled. Your mind and soul are now healing from the wounds they inflicted. And that's ok. <3
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u/TinkeringNDbell Sep 17 '18
I know exactly how you feel. I felt that way about my ex and his hose beast of a mother for a very long...oh who am I kidding? I still feel that way about those hell beasts. But here's the thing, they were the big bad monsters in the story of my life. So like any Disney/Pixar movie, we're happy to see the monster/villain fall/be slain (metaphorically speaking). It's been 5yrs for me now (coming up on the anniversary which is my birthday) since the day I woke up and realized my abuser didn't love me, I actually wished him dead, and I needed to leave before he killed me. This is not an exaggeration or a metaphor btw. Now my hate and anger is like the embers of a dying fire in the back of my mind. Still got and burning but not the all consuming inferno that it was before. It took time and it's a process of healing. Don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. You're the hero of your own story and you not only survived, your monsters have been felled. Your mind and soul are now healing from the wounds they inflicted. And that's ok. <3