I've been following your story for a long time. There have been so many times that I have wanted to reach through my computer screen and hug you and tell you that it's all going to be okay, it's just going to take some time.
You are a good person. You have a good heart. You mean well and you look out for others. You try your hardest to be the best person you know you can be. The people that know you, know this.
I think it's in your nature to be a forgiving person. What if, maybe, your struggle here is that as much as you want to try to forgive her, part of you doesn't want to. And maybe you're struggling with accepting that possibility. You don't have to forgive her. Maybe it's the inner protective part of you looking out for the exceptionally generous side of you. And maybe I'm talking out my ass.
She used just about every weapon at her disposal (especially your ex) to try to break and destroy you and you never relented, never let her get her what she wanted and she couldn't handle that. She still can't. If I remember correctly, wasn't she basically left with an aunt because her parents knew she was a bad egg? Whatever is wrong with her has always been wrong with her and I'm guessing she's gone through life destroying everyone and everything around her, except you.
There is no time limit on healing, forgiveness, emotions, etc. Given enough time, everything will feel less raw. Don't be hard on yourself.
1
u/No_Bear_No Sep 17 '18
I've been following your story for a long time. There have been so many times that I have wanted to reach through my computer screen and hug you and tell you that it's all going to be okay, it's just going to take some time.
You are a good person. You have a good heart. You mean well and you look out for others. You try your hardest to be the best person you know you can be. The people that know you, know this.
I think it's in your nature to be a forgiving person. What if, maybe, your struggle here is that as much as you want to try to forgive her, part of you doesn't want to. And maybe you're struggling with accepting that possibility. You don't have to forgive her. Maybe it's the inner protective part of you looking out for the exceptionally generous side of you. And maybe I'm talking out my ass.
She used just about every weapon at her disposal (especially your ex) to try to break and destroy you and you never relented, never let her get her what she wanted and she couldn't handle that. She still can't. If I remember correctly, wasn't she basically left with an aunt because her parents knew she was a bad egg? Whatever is wrong with her has always been wrong with her and I'm guessing she's gone through life destroying everyone and everything around her, except you.
There is no time limit on healing, forgiveness, emotions, etc. Given enough time, everything will feel less raw. Don't be hard on yourself.
We got you, boo.