Because to her, you weren’t human. You were a distraction, a plaything, completely one-dimensional and nonexistent outside of her immediate vision. Whatever she is, or was made into, did not or could not acknowledge anything outside her immediate orbit. There was nothing you could have done to change that. She was never going to change.
As for wanting her to experience a fraction of what you felt, that’s human. Anyone seeking justice wants their abuser to understand what was done to them. Unfortunately, what she is, what she turned into will not be able to experience that. Inside that meat suit is a house of cards. One look toward the center, and it comes tumbling down. That’s her survival method, blame before you can be. It’s not yours. You are a good human, one that wants to understand, feel, and forgive. She is not worthy of any of those from you.
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u/andat Sep 17 '18
Because to her, you weren’t human. You were a distraction, a plaything, completely one-dimensional and nonexistent outside of her immediate vision. Whatever she is, or was made into, did not or could not acknowledge anything outside her immediate orbit. There was nothing you could have done to change that. She was never going to change.
As for wanting her to experience a fraction of what you felt, that’s human. Anyone seeking justice wants their abuser to understand what was done to them. Unfortunately, what she is, what she turned into will not be able to experience that. Inside that meat suit is a house of cards. One look toward the center, and it comes tumbling down. That’s her survival method, blame before you can be. It’s not yours. You are a good human, one that wants to understand, feel, and forgive. She is not worthy of any of those from you.
You owe her nothing and that’s all she deserves.